tiny little rants of doom

all right, this is it.

2008-03-16T00:04:00.000-07:00

my new blog url: http://coffinpractice.blogspot.com/

thanks for being here.

it's time i faced it.

2008-03-15T22:12:00.000-07:00

i know this. you know this. it has been obvious for some time now.

this blog is dead.

it's really been dead since i lost my burrito job. i mean, i knew it then, but i thought i could keep the rants coming. honestly i wasn't feeling it. i had rants from my new jobs, but they weren't the same. this blog has been on life support since then. it's been flatlining for the past year. time to unplug it from the machine.

i am still full of anger and all that sort of thing. i am still ranty. and i will leave this blog up, for purposes of nostalgia. but let's face it. it's gonna be easier to just start a new one, with a new fresh feel and all that.

plus my 33rd birthday is coming up and for some reason i feel like it's going to be a significant thing for me. so there's that.

and i am sick of holding back because i'm frightened of what people think of me. i'm so fucking sick of apologizing for what i think. fuck that. you think i was evil here?

you just wait.

i'll update this blog once more, to post the link to my new one as soon as i start it. and then we'll lay it to rest. it's time.

speaking of boring...

2007-03-16T21:39:00.000-07:00

okay, so i posted this yesterday. actually technically the day before. and i post it here, now, this much later. i need to post in all three blogs simultaneously if i'm going to do it this way... but i keep getting distracted by shiny objects on teh MySpace...

that is how they lured me in, you see. they put all the shiny things all around over there....

3/15/07

nothing much to say today. i'm still a mite pissed because i found out that link-posting bitch posted a link back to our CF group. even though the mod made it private, people can still go there and see what we write. which is great if you agree or at least understand what we're writing, but not so great if you're a breeder with an agenda. which is the most likely person to click on that link in that Butterfly person's blog. argh, whatever, it's not like anyone reads her stupid pile of crap. most boring blog ever. but. i said i'm over it, and i'm over it. let's get on to the most important subject... ME! for i am so very interesting and such. a-yep.

i got a haircut, wheee! and i took before and after pics:

obviously, this is before:

and this is after! wheeee!

i love it. i was really sick of my hair, to the point where i was about an inch away from pulling a Britney and shaving it all off. well, not shaving, but at least taking a pair of kitchen shears to it. but now... all is well. and i am super hott again.

i'm re-reading Harry Potter (so?) in preparation for Deathly Hollows. oh man. that's gonna be some good shit right there. July is too damn far away.

finally, March Madness has begun! so there's only one thing to say about THAT...

GO HEELS!!!
GO HEELS!!!
GOOOOOOOOO!

of course we don't play until some ungodly hour tonight, because even when we're a number one seed we somehow get handed the end of the stick with the poop on it. meanwhile, fucking Duke, despite totally sucking ass in the regular season, somehow manage to get a number 6 seed. what the fuck? goddamn i hate them. boo. really i just want an excuse to trash Duke. the Heels really don't have it that bad... our first game in the tournament is going to be a cakewalk. so is Duke's, of fucking course, but even if they win today they'll never get past Pittsburgh. moo-hoo-ha-ha-ha.

all right, that's all, i'm gonna go watch basketball now. i leave you with the stupidest quiz i could find on Blogthings...

Your Heart Is Blue

Love is a doing word for you. You know it's love when you treat each other well.
You are a giving lover, but you don't give too much. You expect something in return.

Your flirting style: Friendly

Your lucky first date: Lunch at an outdoor cafe

Your dream lover: Is both generous and selfish

What you bring to relationships: Loyalty

What Color Heart Do You Have?

that's right. love is doing word for me. word.

(side note: the Tarheels totally won yesterday. so i guess my heart is blue after all... light blue at least. hee hee hee hee hee.)

we got set up the bomb... (length warning...)

2007-03-13T19:46:00.000-07:00

hey, look who it is! hey, how about that? all right! whoo-hoo! it is i, your doomy overlady, back with a whole new blog.

really, honestly, it's new.

well, sort of.

okay, so i posted it on myspace first! fine! whatever!

but there is a reason i am also posting it here... this blog explains why i've made my myspace profile private. if any of you who are not myspacians have been going to read my blogs there, i apologize. but i had a feeling that it was inevitable that some person with no sense of humor would find a way to be offended by my profile... granted, i thought it would be some religious freak rather than a breeder freak, but there you are...

so, yes. i'm sure that some of you recall that i have no interest in breeding. if you didn't, i refer you to this post (you clicky, you go there) for my explanation. my opinions have not changed in the past couple years since i wrote that, if anything, my resolve has deepened. i even identify as child-free now, or as we call ourselves sometimes, CF... i've not become a hardcore child-hater, but i definitely am glad i've found a group of people i can relate to on that level.

but i digress. as a disclaimer before i post this, i should say one more time that i do NOT hate ALL kids and i don't want to kill any of them. i don't like every kid on the planet, but that's true for grown-ups, too. so don't get your panties in a wad about it. word.

well, my friends, i have finally done what i should have done a while ago, probably. i've made my profile private. i didn't really want to, as i have friends who are not on myspace who want to read my blogs and such, but i just can't be out in the open this much anymore.

i was probably more than a little foolish using my regular username and thinking these people wouldn't find me... people who have no sense of humor... people who judge me because i have a joke about worshipping the devil in my interests. silly, really... everyone knows the devil worships ME.

all of you guys know that i'm not going to have kids... i've made my opinions on that perfectly clear. those of you who are my friends who have kids know that i would never harm any of your children... in fact, your children are all very precious to me, and they are all beautiful creatures.

yeah, i joke around about killing kids. i've even called children "brats" and "monsters" and even "bastards"... but that's because they are! if anything, i take issue with bad parenting and bad decisions. i get annoyed with people who have kids simply because they "feel they should", i get annoyed with people who have kids and then think they can still live their carefree single life. i get pissed off at parents who are not teaching their children any manners. i get pissed off at parents who feel like they should get special treatment because they've bred... like cutting in line, special parking, extra days off, a high chair in every restaurant... shit like that.

but anyway, i am beginning to rant, so i digress, and get back to the reason i privatized my profile... i got into it with some breeders on the internets. i read a blog that someone had written about the childfree. it's a public blog about a city scene, so no reason i shouldn't comment there, right? especially when someone makes writes such a biased, whiney pile of crap that totally misrepresents what the childfree movement is all about. here, i share it with you now, along with my snarky replies in red parenthesis... of course i didn't post the snarkiness... but i wanted to, and here is my opportunity...

Child-free in Tennessee

Posted by Lindsay Ferrier (03.09.07, 9:58 AM)

The child-free movement is getting some media attention lately, possibly because it's uber-hip to be a parent right now. (hey, guys, let's have a child as a fashion accessory! they're doing it in Hollywierd, why not do it everywhere? it's only another human being, after all...)

Child-free social groups have been around for years to help adults without kids to connect. I can sympathize with the need to be around others whose lives don't revolve around Little League and PTA meetings (I'd generally like to be around people like that myself), but geez Louise, local child-free groups. Bitter much? (no... we just want to hang out with people whose lives don't revolve around Little Leauge and PTA meetings... uh, dense much?)

At the top of the Nashville No Kidding! website, you'll find this quote from the TV show Northern Exposure:

"They're slobbery and they're whiney and they look at you just like they could see right into your soul and they're unpredictable and they smell and they're noisy and the world revolves around them and why!? I don't get it. They're not interesting. They can't tell jokes, they don't have opinions, and they're boring, you know? They're just boring and annoying and I don't want to have one." (i love that quote. that was a good show.)

And over at the local Childfree Meetup site, Nashvillians sound off about being bratless.

"I find that people without kids are the only people worth my time," writes a guy calling himself Omnibus.

"I can't stand kids, they give me hives," a woman who goes by Wingnut admits.

(and on your end? "I don't understand why anyone wouldn't want to have a child! They're so precious! They're our future! yes, i know the person who wrote this didn't exactly say this, but really it's the kind of comment these sorts of people make to each other... so why can't we bitch about not liking kids? oh, we're sooo heartless and cruel.)

In the San Francisco Chronicle's article on the child-free, grievances also are aired about work-family benefits, lactation rooms for working mothers, friends who disappear after having children and constant criticism/disbelief from acquaintances and strangers over the decision to remain childless. (see?)

Apparently, living a child-free life isn't all about partying and sleeping in on weekends. But I'm here to tell you that parents don't have it any easier. For instance:

-I can't take my well-behaved, non-screaming toddler into a nicer restaurant to eat without getting dirty looks from the host and waitstaff, who just assume that she's going to throw a messy tantrum and I'm going to do nothing about it. (well, maybe you should get a sitter, because a nicer restaurant is really not appropriate for a toddler. period. people eat out at nice places to get a little vacation from their kids, screaming or not. i don't take my 80lb dog into any place that's not appropriate for her, and i don't bitch about how restaurants really should allow well-behaved dogs inside. they won't make a mess or cause trouble. oh, no...)

-On that note, Jackson's makes the world's best deep fried cookie dough eggrolls, but doesn't have highchairs or booster seats. (there's this thing called take-out. you really should look into it. no restaurant, ever, PERIOD, is morally or by law required to have highchairs or booster seats. so if they don't, maybe that's just a subtle HINT that they don't want kids there!)

-While the rest of my family bought up cool vintage t-shirts, I had to wait outside a store on Melrose Avenue last summer with my toddler because the sign in the window said, "No solicitors. No panhandlers. No strollers." (small store, huge stroller. does not compute. i'm sooo sorry you had the agony of not getting to shop with your family. however will you recover from all the horror and the pain this has caused you?)

-Having kids means either staying home with them and being treated like a loser by your working counterparts, or working and feeling guilty about putting the kids in daycare. (them's the breaks, kid. damned if ya do, damned if ya don't.)

-While there are plenty of child-free organizations, there's no group for those of us who have kids, but don't really want to talk shop with every other parent with whom they have a conversation. Might I suggest one called P-WHOP (Parents Who Hate Other Parents)? (good idea, why don't you start it up?)

-We're forced to endure our child-free friends accusing us of falling off the face of the earth after we had kids, when really we just couldn't find a freaking babysitter. (then tell them that you couldn't find a freakin' baby sitter. you make it seem like you're going through the Spanish fucking Inquisition. people had to endure that, you know.)

Basically, it all sucks, whether you have a kid or not. Feel better? (no, but thanks for asking.)

so, yeah, that was the article. but it was some of the comments that really got to me...

"I've got lots of single/childless friends. I guess their lives are too rich and full to bitch about other people's kids.

As for non-child friendly businesses. F*ck 'em.

My kid goes just about any place I go. If you don't want to provide a high chair, well, I guess you'll end up cleaning food from under the table.

To which I say, "Tough shit." "

what a dick! obviously he's never worked a food service job in his life. and obviously he has not one ounce of tact in him.

then there's THIS gem:

"I LOVE when people say they hate kids...as if they were just dropped on the Earth a grown person. Hate yourself all you want - my kids did nothing to you. I'm sure a lot of those jackasses smell worse than my kids anyway!"

great... what a snappy reply. "you smell". mature. this person just can't stand that anyone doesn't like kids... she just can't take it. this person, who goes by the name of "Btrfly4404" is the reasons i privatized my profile. because i was foolish enough to put in my feelings on the matter (in a much more measured form than i did here, i assure you) she attacked me and posted my profile url for everyone to go and judge and be offended by. here follows our exchange... the comments i left are in red, hers are green. you tell me who had the more mature, measured response...

first of all, i would really really like to just point out that as far as i could see, not one CF commenter here ever said they hated children. no, calm down, don't get defensive, just listen to me. we might not all LIKE kids, but we do NOT hate them and we do NOT want a society free of children and childbearing people. we would just like, pretty please, to not be treated as freaks or second-class citizens because we have no desire to procreate.

you are all too caught up in the language of all this. you people (don't get offended by THAT, please, it's just a general term referring to those of you who are misunderstanding us) don't realize that calling us bitter, calling us freaks, calling us selfish... that hurts just as much as us calling you all breeders and your children spawn.

please, please, please... we are not a threat to you. we are not out to destroy your families. we only want to socialize with people who understand us. we only want to have a group of people to go to when our society, our families, and our churches ostracize us because we refuse to follow the accepted life plan: get married, have babies, go to church on Sundays. we only want to try and find acceptance. we only want to exist, even if only for a time, in an environment where we aren't scared that we'll be judged for our choices. we just want to be around other people that understand. isn't that the reason any social group is formed?

please read the comment that as seen elsewhere posted. please don't freak out about the tone of it or any hidden insults that you might see in it. just read it, and try for a moment to put yourselves in our place.

and now comes the fun...

Actually, el sid...the number one antagonist on this blog is going by the psuedonym "people do hate your kids" and if I weren't at work, I would go through and pick out all the HATEFUL things they said. Not to mention the MySpace Forum that is going OFF about this article ...they had a lot of hateful things to say, too.
And let me tell you that not one person on this blog ever said anything bad about people not having kids or even WANTING to have kids. The issue is that people are HATEFUL to them. After checking out a few of the people participating over in that forum, I don't feel any sympathy at all for the "CF Movement" - in fact, I think much worse of the people involved. If you are really a group that "just wants to exist" then maybe your top spokespeople shouldn't have "SUPPORT ABORTION" "KILL THE BASTARDS" signs all over. Really, it looks like they are preparing for genocide, not trying to "simply exist."

then, apparently, she went and hunted me down (having nothing better to do... i didn't even go to her blog.) and left these two comments:

el sid - how quaint....That was YOUR myspace page that said that. Along with something about drinking the blood of newborn infants and serving satan?

Wow...real respectable source for the "Nice, Just Wanna Be Us CF Movement". So...by child-free, you mean Kill All Children, right, as in no children in the world? (I know that not everyone in the CFM wants to kill kids, but ) You are the one coming on here saying "pretty please don't hate us we just don't want our own kids, we don't hate yours"... then on another website, you have pictures saying that all babies should be aborted? I do hate you for that. That makes me think you are a sick person if you think babies should be killed so you can drink their blood. Again, you don't give your so-called "movement" any credibility.

Here is "The Doom"'s (aka, el sid) profile:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=10670872

yep. she posted my profile url. the height of maturity. so, since i'm PMSing, i responded thus:

see what i mean? right into the name-calling. didn't listen to what i said.

yeah, i have jokes up about killing babies and drinking their blood. ha ha, i have a morbid sense of humor, sorry. i make the same sorts of jokes about killing people, too. but it's just me being funny (well funny to me; obviously we dont' share the same sense of humor.) i don't actually worship satan or drink the blood of infants. sorry to disappoint you.

and you hate me? sorry again. i don't hate you. and i repeat: we really don't hate your kids. why? because we don't KNOW your kids. we don't know you. why would i bother wasting my hate on someone i don't know? you tell me, butterfly, since you can obviously do that.

and then you decide to share my myspace profile with everyone so they can get even more offended. there's a reason i didn't link it. you have nothing better to do with your life than hunt me down and point out my hypocrisy? don't you have...oh, i don't know, some kids to feed?

i love kids. i spent half my life working with kids. my nephews are the most beautiful little men on the planet, and a hug from them is really worth more than a gazillion dollars to me. i think the heart of this misunderstanding is that you don't "get" us, and we don't "get" you. immediatley, we judge each other. immediatley, we call each other breeders and freaks. well, some of us are freaks. some of you are breeders. try not to take all this so personally... i sure don't. life's too damn short.

now i probably shouldn't have posted this reply, because i know the predatory type of personality i was dealing with in this butterfly person. but my excuse is i'm stressed out and i'm close to getting on the rag, and i couldn't let the posting of my url go unmentioned. so now this hateful response...

The only names I called you are names that you go by at myspace. I actually didn't "HUNT YOU DOWN"...someone else found your little forum that you've devoted to just how much you hate us...oops, i mean our kids. YOU guys are the ones throwing the hate around...and YES I HATE ANYONE WHO THINKS IT'S FUNNY FOR BABIES TO DIE. It doesn't really waste my time, but maybe someone should call the authorities..make sure you dont' have any dead kids in your basement? Yes, obviously we do have different senses of humor.
Also you worked with kids? And you think its funny to say they should die? THANK GOD employers now check myspace pages, because I wouldn't want you around my kids anymore than you want to be around them - scratch that - MORE than!

I also find it funny that you question what I'm doing with MY time... look at your forum. Every day someone scours the internet for articles about your little movement and everyone in your group hops on and gives the same reply? This is not something I normally involve myself in, I don't look around the internet for people to disagree with. Don't you have a demon to worship?? Because my kids are in school, dear!

i hope all her kids grow up to be satanists. but i digress. i made one more comment, my last, as the whole thing doesn't concern me personally--i don't live in Nashville, thank god-- and this was getting personal.

i thought about this, and i figured, hey, i'll give it one more try.

yes, i did jump on here and throw in a reply where normally i'd just probably say nothing for fear of getting in an argument with someone. that's not my usual M.O., either. i'm only trying to defend my people, same way you all would if some rabid child-hater (trust me, what you've seen here is nothing compared to what some people could and have said) jumped into one of your discussions about child-rearing or the like and started making horrible generalizations.

i made a comment because what was originally written, and the comments following, showed a large ignorance and intolerance as far as the CF movement is concerned. i really was making a plea for understanding, and nothing more.

and for the record, not only have i worked with kids, but i was damn good at it, and any parent whose children i sat or taught will give me a glowing review. my current employers all have seen my myspace profile and have no problem with it.

so really your opinion means nothing to me. i've said my peace and i'm done.

so no reply to that, yet, and i'm not looking for one. you guys can read the whole thing, with comments, HERE, and judge for yourselves.

all i know is i've got to start watching my ass a little harder on this internet place. i'm just glad i still have ninja minions who love me. thank you guys, especially those of you who do not share my beliefs, but are my friends anyway. you in particular i appreciate, because you are accepting and caring and non-judgemental. i only wish i could be as good as you are.

i'm just a quaint little devil-worshipping child-hater. heh.

... so i realize that by posting this in a public forum, rather than a private one, that i am in danger of leaving myself open to attack, especially since this Butterfly character uses Blogger. but so be it. i wanted the story out there. i'm barely here anymore anyway... if i get nasty comments, then so be it. i didn't post a link to HER blog. and even though i left a link open to the site that was the source of the whole bru-ha-ha, i must beseech you to not stoop to this Butterfly person's level and leave her nasty comments or anything like that. as pissed as i am at her, i still respect her right not to be harassed on the internets. after all, that's why i went private... because she posted my url in a hostile environment. she pretty much said: "Hey, everyone, look at the profile of the nasty devil-worshipping baby-hater!" i am above such things. so i shall not link to her boring-ass blog and say: "hey, everyone, look at the fat breeder with no sense of humor who wants to call the cops on me!" i am above such things.

i will be back here more often now i think. i need to take the time to upgrade everything and all, and i don't know how badly i want to do that... i don't have much time as it is. but i'm at the least going to attempt to post everything i post over there over here, too. so hopefully i'll be seeing you. i trust you are all kneeling before me, like the good little minions that you are? yes, i thought so.

oh... is it the new year now?

2007-02-10T21:22:00.000-08:00

i don't know... i haven't posted here in so long that i think i... i don't know. i feel like coming back into a town i grew up in, but i'm only able to visit for a few minutes. i'm out of touch with everyone and what's been going on... just keeping up barely through those of you i knew here at Blogger at a myspace.

i'm kind of a crappy friend. i'm kind of a crappy person, really. i do this... just move on to hanging out with other people and just get out of touch with the other people from before.

i kind of feel like... i don't know. like i should feel bad about not blogging like i used to. there's no reason to feel bad. it's just a fuckin' blog. you know.

but i feel compelled to come back and say hi, at least.

so, um. hi.

evil becomes me. i mean really. i look good in it.

2006-10-16T21:25:00.000-07:00

yes, i realize that i have not posted anything in a long time. yes i realize i've been neglecting my duties here. i have a blog in the works explaining that. in the meantime, enjoy this lovely little survey, the answers to which please and amuse me.

oh, and by the way, you should know that i'm trying to kill a bitch of a cold right now, so if any of the answers are more delierious than usual, and the grammar and spelling are particularly bad... it's the drugs talking. which is fine, really, because drugs always have more interesting things to say.

SECTION 1 - YOU

+ Known as: El Sid, destroyer of worlds, bane of the common man, hero to satanists and generally horrible people everywhere.
+ Born: that day the skies rained down blood, the earth burst asunder and fire lept from the crevasses and angels everywhere wept. remember that day? yeah, i was born then.
+ Hair color: stormy dark cappuchino.
+ Eye Color: bourbon walnut haze.

SECTION 2 - HAVE YOU EVER

+ Fallen off the bed? doing what? just what exactly are you insinuating? eh? eh? what sort of activity could i partake of that would have me falling off the bed, oh, i wonder? what's that you say? sleep? oh, i wasn't thinking of that at all.
+ Had your heart broken?: you haven't lived until you do.
+ Had a dream come true? sort of. it wasn't the one about the sentient doorways, though. which is good, because that was a bad dream.

SECTION 3 - CURRENTLY...

+ Wearing: my happy monkey dancing suit.
+ Listening to: horrible TV noises.
+ Located: in my evil arctic headquarters in the heart of a volcano, cackling.
+ Should really be doing: nothing else. i am yours for this moment in time.

SECTION 4 - DO YOU...

+ Have any piercings: just the holes they made to put the robot parts in.
+ Drive: i have no need for cars. i have robot zombie ninja vampires to do the driving.
+ Have a cell phone: in my ear.

SECTION 5 - LAST PERSON YOU...

+ Hugged: Kelly
+ IMed: uh... i think it was Angie. it's been a few days.
+ Talked with on the phone: Kelly.
+ Text: i have no need for texting when i have my superior MIND. i just sent you a message, just now when i was typing this. ha ha. ha.

SECTION 6 - PERSONAL...

+ What do you want to be when you grow up? ...ya know, you really got me on that one.
+ What comes first in your life? the first thing.
+ What do you usually think about before you go to bed? a million schemes of world domination and such things.

SECTION 7- FAVORITES

+ Show: explosions!
+ Store: bah. all of my items are hand-made by robot slaves.
+ Food: the blood of innocents. although technically i guess that's a drink, not a food.
+ Color: the rosy crimsons and ebony blacks of DOOM.

SECTION 8 - DO YOU...

+ Like to give hugs: bone-crushing hugs with destructive powers.
+ Like to walk in the rain: yes, except for the getting wet part.
+ Sleep on your side: what is this... "sleep" you speak of? i know no such thing.
+ Have stuffed animals: i would never do that to an animal unless it was hungry. then i would give them the bones of innocents to gnaw upon.

SECTION 9- THIS OR THAT...(pick)

+ Pierced nose or tongue: i told you already about the piercings and the robot parts. fools!
+ MTV or BET: how about forks in my eyeballs? i'll take the forks.
+ 7th Heaven or Dawsons Creek: and then after the forks, you can pour some salt in the wounds.
+ Chocolate or flowers: neither is permanent, but at least chocolate tastes good.
+ Color or black-and-white photos: black and white. after all, if you're not with me, you're against me.
+ Stay up late or sleep in: one implies the other.
+ Hot or cold: cold as the black ice which encases the black stone which is my heart.
+ Sun or moon: i have not heard of this "sun", but it sounds vaugely dangerous. i must have it destroyed at once.
+ Left or Right: left, why? i'm not going anywhere.
+ 10 Acquaintances or one best friend: minions.
+ Spring or Fall: if you spring too high, then you'll fall.
+ Happy or sad: oh, yeah, i'm going to pick sad. yeah, that's what i like better, being sad. jesus fucking christ, did you run out of either/or questions, little child who wrote this survey? what's wrong with Beatles or Elvis? why don't you ask THAT ONE, huh?
+ Wonder or amazement: isn't that the same fucking thing? i don't know, i don't claim to be a fucking word scientist or anything, but... come the fuck on.

SECTION 10: FIRSTS.

First Screen Name? doombunny. ah, the memories stirred within me at sight of my first screen name... i get all weepy inside.
First self purchased CD: shit, i didn't even buy a CD until i was 19 years old. the first tape that i ever bought with my own money was R.E.M.'s Green. i was a mere 13 years old, eyes wide open with the giddy prospect of someday ruling my own evil empire full of ninjas and minions. and now look. i am so full of the doom.
First pet: a female dog named Bilbo. go figure, eh?
First piercing/tattoo: yeah, that. yeah, i wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced until i was... what was it, twelve? grrr.

SECTION 11:

Last time you cried: oh, i have no tear ducts any longer since i had them replaced with miniature sub-machine guns. now i only cry in self-defense. and yes, i used a similar answer the last time i got asked this "last time you cried" question. because i'm done with it.

that's it for section 11? LAME. it doesn't even have a title! what the hell.

SECTION 12: CURRENT.

Current mood: pleased with the devotion of my many minions.
Current food: air.
Current hair: ponytail of DOOM.
Current annoyance(s): grammatical and spelling errors

SECTION 13: WHO...

1. Makes you smile? my loyal minions, who serve me well. you ninja overlord loves you.
2. Has seen you cry? ha! no one sees me cry... for long.

SECTION 14: WOULD YOU RATHER..

1. Be serious or be funny? oh, obviously i'm deadly serious. all the time.
2. Drink whole or skim milk? i'm not a fan of milk. the blood of the innocents has more nutrients in it.
3. Spend time with your parents or enemies? my enemies don't survive long enough for me to spend time with them.

SECTION 15: DO YOU PREFER...

1. Do you prefer gray or black? i like both. plus blood-red. my underground lair has this particular color scheme going on. it's nice. it intimidates, and that relaxes me.
2. Lust or love? love binds your minions to you. the only lust i allow my minions is the lust for life.
3. Sunrise or sunset? you know, every time i get asked that question, i get that "Sunrise, Sunset" song from Fiddler On The Roof stuck in my head.
4. M&M's or skittles? this should not be a choice. i demand both! you shall comply with my demands.

SECTION 16: ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...

1. Do you like anyone? why do i have to answer this question again?
2. Do you believe in love at first sight? why do i have to answer this question again?
3. Do you miss someone right now? argh... i never miss. i have sharks with frikkin' laser beams attached to their foreheads. each of these sharks is a professional sniper.

all right. that's quite enough of that. sorry; i know this wasn't the world's best survey, but it was the first one i found that wasn't one that i've already done before. though, now that i think of it, i'm sure i have actually done this one, too. fucks sake. i can't win.

tee hee hee. oh, silly me...

2006-10-02T21:06:00.000-07:00

if anyone has been trying to get in touch with me via my hotmail address, i never got your message. i didn't realize this, but i hadn't signed in in a month and they "temporarily disabled" it.

myspace has, apparently, swallowed my soul.

anyway, it should work fine now. i hope.

if i weighed 98 pounds, i'd still have that belly...

2006-10-02T00:25:00.000-07:00

all right, so i didn't make another post before the month ended. but if it makes you feel any better, i didn't post on my myspace blog, either. until just now. and this is what i posted... but first, some small back story.

for those of you unfamiliar with the way myspace works, (and oh you should be grateful because it's evil fangs of evilness have not sucked you in and enslaved you) there is a "bulletins" section where you can post something that everyone on your friends list can read and reply to. sort of like a mass message to all your friends. bands generally use it to let everyone know when their next gig is, or their latest promotion or merch. people generally use it to post really stupid chain letters.

a friend of mine wrote this in a bulletin, and also on her blog. her message is reproduced here in color. my response to it is below. i obviously feel rather strongly about this. hee.

So, as most of my close friends know.. I have a tummy.. and ever since I was knee high to a grasshopper, I have had people asking me when I'm due, etc, assuming that just because I have a tummy, I must be pregnant..

.. Yeah.. I love this by the way.. but what I love the most about it, is when I think of women in the world who like me may have a little tummy, but are spending years of fertility treatments, or thousands of dollars for In Vitro Fertilization, or after months of finding they're pregnant keep having miscarriages..

I think of these women, who like me, dream of someday having their own child.. and for some unseen reasons, can't make this dream come true..

and so when someone asks me when I'm due, or makes some comment about me expecting, I think of the women above, and how if some idiot asks THEM the same question- what it must do for them, for their self-esteem, for the strength that they used to have, EXCEPT when it comes to the subject of a baby and their inability to conceive.

And of course, I think of myself, and how no matter how much I exercise, or fast, or whatever, my tummy will always be here, and it will always look this way.. and how when I am having an absolutely fantastic day, and think I look like a 20 on the 1-10 scale of hotness, some asshole asks me when I'm due.. and I am deflated completely to nothing...

and I know that I have a lot of strength and have withstood this line of questioning for 1 too many years, all I ask is just this:

Think before you speak.. and don't assume that someone is a certain way (ex: pregnant) just because they may look like it to you - if they don't talk about pregnancy to you in some way- just ignore it.. Because in all honesty - your little comment that means nothing to you, may be so big to someone else that it absolutely breaks them down to nothing.

HAVE SOME FREAKIN' KINDNESS!

now i know i've made my position on breeding perfectly clear. i shall have nothing to do with it. if ever i feel the unnatural urge to take on resposibility for another human life, then i shall adopt or foster a child. i will always encourage other people to do the same: to take care of who is here already. i sincerely believe that it's a small thing you can do to make the world a better place.

so it's a pretty insulting thing to have someone YOU DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW ask you how far along you are. don't ever ask anyone this question or any variation of this question. it's not polite. unless it's obvious they're pregnant--for example, their womb is swollen to the size of a basketball--you shouldn't open your big fat stupid tactless mouth. there, i said it. what?

i don't ever want a child. you don't want to ask me that question because i WILL subject you to my lecture on Why I Will Never Breed And If You Care At All For The Future Of Your Planet You Would Understand Why You Should Quit Squirting Them Out Expecting Them To Fix The Planet Just Because They're The Future...

anyway. you didn't ask me, so i'll spare the sermonizing for now and get to the point.

if someone who actually wants a child feels the same way about being asked that question as a person who never, ever, EVER wants a child feels, that's just proof that that shit is rude.

today's Lesson in Polite Behavior is brought to you by El Sid and her Fearsome Ninja Horde. fear us, or join us. there is no alternative.

next episode: Tipping Ettiqute for the Socially Inept.

thank you for reading.

this post has no clever title.

2006-09-28T23:15:00.000-07:00

good sweet darkness below, what the hell happened to September?

you mean i haven't posted here for a MONTH??

what the hell?

well, since i'm here, i'm kind of sick of the way this blog looks. maybe i could tweak it around; clean it up a little bit. yeah, i bet a little makeover would really change my additude about this whole thing. maybe i'll post here a little more often.

maybe even on my other blogs... i could post in those, too! like the writing blog. i mean i have written tons of stuff. i could post up some more of it. i mean, wow. the possibilites are endless.

i mean i was really into this for a while. i was leaving comments and linking people and everything...

oooh, that reminds me, i probably need to update/clean up my links at some point, too. not now, though. it's late, and i still haven't folded all my laundry yet. but i don't want to get up because there is a warm purry kitty in my lap.

i'd update you all on my life, but that would compromise my spooky persona, and heaven knows we don't want that, oh dearie me, no. all has been well. i am back working with beads... shiny shiny purty beadsss... and also i'm working delivery. i'm not driving, but i'm doing everything else. it's quite complicated. don't worry, i will soon explain.

see, i feel rants returning to me. because it's starting to get. to the point. where i. must let the evils out. there are retail rants bubbling up in me. like... like..

like why the fuck would you bring a group of twelve girls into a retail place half an hour before they close and just LEAVE THEM THERE??? i swear to god, i'm not making that up.

and then the delivery rants are endless. i'm working on a compilation of common-sense things you should do to make life easier for your delivery driver. like... oh, i don't know... leave a light on so they can see your fucking address so they can deliver the food you've ordered at o'dark-thirty! we delivered to this woman today who--i swear to god-- had every damn light in her house extinguished. it looked like no one was home. you know, if you're going to order food, maybe you ought to make sure they can find out where you live! i mean damn.

i still can't believe i haven't posted in a month. god. i could have at the least put up a quiz or something. sheesh.

i'm not putting up a quiz, by the way. i couldn't find a good one.

right, well, that wasn't so bad, was it? maybe i'll even post again before the end of the month!

yeee-haw... install the swimmng pool!

2006-08-29T19:41:00.000-07:00

well, i had to share this with all of you.

My blog is worth $6,774.48.
How much is your blog worth?

quite interesting. it's not worth as much as Neil Gamian's blog, but it's worth more than i thought...

a mean idea to call my own.

2006-08-15T16:12:00.000-07:00

i put this in my myspace blog yesterday. i put it here today. why? because, frankly, i liked it. that is why. enjoy this little part of me that i am still able to share here, with you, today, considering my crippling myspace addiction.

man, i'm fucking pissed. i tried to make this a real blog entry. i talked about the free Walkmen show i saw last night. i talked frankly about how The Walkmen made beautiful dissonant punk-esque music, and i talked about how the two opening bands were lame and disconcertingly annoying. i talked about how the crowd (as all crowds at a show in Raleigh) sucked and was full of people fresh out of the trailer park who think they're edgy because they listen to The Walkmen AND Motley Crue. i talked about how The Walkmen seemed to have a similar opinion, because when the came back out for their encore they only played ONE SONG. ONE. bah. dammit.

anyway, i talked about all these things. i was even listening to The Walkmen as i wrote this blog. it was all perfect. and then... well, to be perfectly honest i got high and distracted and i accidentally closed my browser window. and didn't realize it at first. and then... FUCK! no, there's no way of getting back what i had. why do i even try?

so here's a gay little rainbow survey instead.

* ReD *

Closest red thing to you?:
the side of a CD on my desk shelf. it's an 80's compilation; i was adding a select few songs to my iTunes.

Last thing to make you angry?
well, it didn't make me really angry but it pissed me off a bit. today, at the bead shop, i was ringing up a woman who had selected a number of beads in varying shades of red and black and silver. another customer commented on how nice the colors were. the woman replies, "oh, i just hope it doesn't scare anyone. i'm getting them to match a pendant." i mention that i like the colors, and the customer reaffirms her liking for the color combo, too. the woman then says "i just hope people don't think i'm in a cult or anything when i'm wearing all that red and black all over, ha ha." why did this make me pissed off a little bit? because i was wearing, at the time, my usual large quantity of red, black, and silver jewelry. especially on my wrists, which i'm sure were in plain view of the woman, as i was taking her money from her. so... was she thinking i was in a cult or something? or was she just an idiot? regardless of the percieved insult, i was good customer service person. i merely smiled and said: "red and black are very fashionable colors." the other customer and my co-worker had a giggle at that. i mean honestly. i'm not in a cult. if i was in a cult, i'd be wearing a uniform. and i ain't wearin' no fuckin' uniform.

Do you have a temper?:
my temper is sort of like a big fat lazy cat who likes to sleep a lot. it takes a lot to get it riled up, but once you do, oh, boy you'd best watch the hell out.

Last warning you were given?:
i give no warning, and i expect none in return. this humorous answer was left in here in lieu of a serious one, as the serious answer would be far too personal for me to share here with you, today.

Ever been in love?:
too much, too hard, and not enough.

Are you a fan of romance?:
let's put it in the context of movies... i'm a fan of romance Brazil style, not Titanic style.

* OrAnGe *

Closest orange thing to you?:
yet again, it's a CD... the side panel of Stereolab's Emperor Tomato Ketchup.

Do you like to burn things?:
fire, fire, burning higher... making music like a choir! you identify that movie quote and i'll give you fabulous prizes.

Dress up for halloween?:
i just dress up whenever... Halloween's the one day that everyone doesn't look at me funny for doing it.

Are you usually a warm-hearted person?:
much more so than you people would think.

Do you have anything against ginger hair?:
why would i do that? where would that get me? it'd get me right on the express train to Nowhere Town, that's where it'd get me.

Are you usually full of energy?:
depends on the amount of coffee and/or Dr. Pepper in my system and how long it's been there.

* YeLLoW *

Closest yellow thing to you?:
would you believe... the side of a CD? it's another 80's compilation! it has "Cars" on it. i heart Gary Numan, that wierd-ass fucker.

The happiest time of your life?:
well, really just my life in general. because i am happy to be alive, see.

Favourite holiday?:
i have answered this sooooo many times that i refuse to do it any longer. it's obvious what it is. if you're in any doubt, you must be new here. don't worry. you'll figure it out.

What makes you smile?:
oh, just about anything, except for the things that don't.

Are you a coward?:
yes. no, really, that's the answer. i only seem brave. don't let that shit fool you. i'm as yellow as they come.

Do you burn or tan?:
i tan, which i don't really like, but i don't like burning either so i guess i should just shut up.

* GrEeN *

Closest green thing to you?:
would you believe... TWO CD covers? yes! and you know what? one's an 80's compilation, and one is a Stereolab album! (Switched On, for those of you who were wondering.)

Do you care about the environment?:
oh, like i'm going to say no to that fucking question. yes, i care about the environment, but i'm not a goddamn hippie so don't even start with the accusations.

Are you jealous of anyone right now?:
people with money. people who not only have money, but waste it on stupid trivial shit and take it for granted when there are other human beings living on this planet with nothing to thier name and nothing in their future because of it. goddamn it, i'm not asking for Donald Trump's house, i'm just asking for a level fucking playing field! you elist bastards, you'll get yours! arrrrrrrrgh!

wow. apparently something provoked the cat that is my temper.

Are you a lucky person?:
my luck comes in great big infrequent chunks... both good and bad.

Do you always want what you can't have?:
story of my fucking life, man.

Do you like being outdoors?:
oh, sure, as long as the weather's nice and i'm not missing any good TV shows. for those of you who don't know, i just made a funny little joke. i love to be outdoors, of course, and the TV is the devil's creation.

* BLuE *

Closest blue thing to you?:
are you ready for this... my shirt! ha! it wasn't a CD! can you believe it?!?!

Are you good at calming people down?:
i'm trying to make it into an art. i don't like arguments and drama all over the place.

Do you like the sea?:
i dream by the sea.

Last thing to make you cry?:
a thought. and i didn't really cry, but oh it make me feel like my heart was breaking.

Are you a logical thinker?:
i wish i was, and i envy and admire people who are naturally. it's not something that is in my nature; i have to work at it. yes, i have to think about thinking. i know it sounds stupid. fuck you. it makes sense to me.

Can you sleep easily?:
no, indeed. it always takes me a good couple of hours. even the drugs take a while to work, if they do.

* PuRpLe *

Closest Purple thing to you?:
my silly sparkly purple CD wallet.

Like being treated to expensive things?:
who the hell doesn't?

Do you like mysterious things?:
i do, very much. i wonder about them all the time, but i don't always try to figure them out. because. i like them to be mysterious.

Favourite type of chocolate?:
milk chocolate Lindt truffles. give truffles. give them to i!

Are you creative?:
i imagined you and your family back to their first fucking amoeba and why without even breaking a sweat, i'm so creative.

* PiNk *

Closest pink thing to you?:
my skin. ah-ha-ha-ha.

Are you gay/bisexual?:
i want to ask YOU a question now. what's wrong with the word "or"? why did you feel the need to put a / there instead? why couldn't you just write down: "Are you gay or bisexual?" it's perfectly fine to put it that way. i just don't get what the hell's wrong with you kids these days. it must be all that gay sex you're having after you watch Bravo all day.

Do you like sweet foods?:
my tooth is so sweet that it just bought you flowers and cooked you dinner.

Like play-fighting?:
i'll do it with people i'm comfortable with, but i'm not overly fond of it.

Are you sensitive?:
very. i hide it well, but these are skills that were perfected over years of training on the top of a mountain by a cruel White Lotus master named Pai-Mei. now you bastards will never see me cry. because i'll pluck your eyes out.

Do you like punk music?:
i like it in its truest form. i don't particularly care for it re-hashed. and i prefer post-punk.

* wHiTe *

Closest white thing to you?:
that would be my computer desk.

Would you say you're innocent?:
i wouldn't, but mostly 'cause i've chosen to be. there are probably other people who would say that. but they don't know me.

Always try to keep the peace?:
yes. i really dislike conflict. i'm not fond of butting in, but if something fucked up is going to happen in front of me i'm not going to do nothing.

How do you imagine your wedding, if you want one?:
a big party with all of our friends there just drinking and dancing and having the big fun! yes!

Do you like to play in the snow?:
who doesn't like to play in the snow? i mean come ON. it's SNOW! what a silly fucking question.

Are you afraid of going to the doctors or dentists?:
i'm actually more avoidant about making the appointment than i am about going. i don't like going, at all, and i'll find any excuse not to. if i make an appointment, i feel like i HAVE to go, and then i will.

* bLaCk *

Closest black thing to you?:
my heart. ah-ha-ha-ha-ha. no, really, my heart.

Ever enjoy hurting people?:
no, not really. i enjoy imagining it, but actually doing it takes a whole other set of nuts that i'm not packing in my little girly-shorts.

Are you sophisticated or silly?:
oh, a healthy dose of both, i'd say.

Afraid of death?:
no, not really; i've made my peace with the fact that i could die any time. but i don't want to die. death isn't something to fear so much as it's something i don't want to deal with.

Would you like to go to space?:
is that an invitation? sure, let's go!

Do you have a lot of secrets?:
i am made of secrets, a lot of little tiny sparkly secrets of every kind. most of them belong to other people.

* MiSc *

What is your favourite colour?:
i swore i would never answer this question again. but since this is a color-themed survey, i shall relent and do it this time. i am equally tied for red, black, and purple. silver and blue are also quite high in the rankings.

Does the colour you wear affect your mood?:
i think it reflects it more than affects it.

You prefer contrasting or harmonizing colours?:
see, that's another silly question, and i shall tell you why. say we have two contrasting colors that look good together. what are those colors doing? they are harmonizing with each other to create an eye-catching, pleasing visual image. contrasting colors can exist in harmony with each other. i know this is a ranty bunch of picky bullshit, but i'm a spaz about color.

Do you like to paint?:
yes, i do, though i haven't painted in a while. i think it's 'cause i'm broke, and i need all new paint, and i don't have any decent brushes, and no canvas...

What colour would you think best symbolises your personality?
plum.

yes, and just in case you wondered... i was going to put this survey up anyway, and indeed my previous answers to nearly this whole thing were already written when i lost this blog entry. again, pure genius on my part. but don't think the survey's a cop-out. believe me. if anything is NOT a cop-out, it's me filling out this freakin' survey... TWICE.

i am a loser. warn your children against me.

you love it, and you love me, and you'll deal with it if you feel otherwise.

2006-08-05T19:24:00.000-07:00

i was going to write something terribly clever that you would all love forever and ever and ever.

BUT.

i'm not in the mood.

i will be offline for a few days after this, though i am going to be able to jump on long enough to check my messages and such from work. that is all; thought you should know.

i will put up a quiz, also... because i am, sadly enough, proud of the result.

Goth Diety
You scored 84!

You're so goth you can't see your reflection in the mirror. People frequently ask you "Are you in a band?" because you're dressed like a rock star....even to do laundry or go get groceries. Not only do you know who Switchblade Symphony is AND own thier entire discography, but you've seen them live before they broke up AND they liked your company when you hung out with them afterwards.Your dream profession is anything where you can look as extreme as you want. This isn't style for you...this is lifestyle.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on gothies

Link: The GOTH Test written by myriad_entity on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

and another, just to prove that not only am a goth, but i'm also a geek.

this answer, by the way, rules.

Susan Sto Helit
You scored 95 intelligence, 63 morality, and 37 physical strengenth!

As Death's granddaughter (a long story, which you greatly dislike), you inherited his ultimate practicality and lack of fear. In fact, boogeymen and other childhood boggles fear YOU. Often assisted by the Death of Rats and his raven, you manage to fix the Universe inbetween working as a governness and educating the masses. The ultimate teacher.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on intelligence
You scored higher than 99% on morality
You scored higher than 99% on strength

Link: The Which Discworld Character Am I Test written by smirkette on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

right, and one more because i can't control myself.

Jimi Hendrix
70 depth, 40 controversy ,65 talent

Probably the greatest musician of the modern age, Hendrix had his fair share of incidents and certainly lived a fast life. You certainly don't need any of my advice.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on deepness
You scored higher than 99% on controversy
You scored higher than 99% on musicianship

Link: The Which Musician Am I? Test written by loveisthelaw on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

... damn, thought i'd get Robert Smith, but i guess he's not an option...

MTV get off the air!

2006-07-31T21:25:00.000-07:00

i know i promised an old burrito rant. but i have not the heart for it. or any writing, really, that does not reek excessivley of random venomous bile. which is fine, 'cause it's still ranty, but not about burritos in particular. oh no.

pop culture is getting on my nerves right now.

so, tomorrow (which will be in one minute as the moment i am writing this it is 11:59 PM... oh, wait, now it's 12 AM. okay, so.. today) is MTV's 25th birthday. just as KFC does no longer resemble chicken fried in the style of the state of Kentucky, MTV no longer represents television that is in the style of music. drop the M, you fucks. it's just TV. and oh god, everything bad about it.

happy birthday, MTV. i hope you die of the ravaging crotch rot. you grew up to be soooo uncool...

Fun fun fun in the fluffy chair
Flame up the herb
Woof down the beer...

Hi!
I'm your video dj!!
I always talk like I'm wigged out on quaaludes!!!
I wear a satin baseball jacket everywhere I go!!!!

My job is to help destroy
What's left of your imagination!
By feeding you endless doses
Of sugar-coated mindless garbage!!!

So don't create,
Be sedate !
Be a vegetable at home
And thwack on that dial!!
If we have our way even you will believe
This is the future of rock and roll!

How far will you go
How low will you stoop
To tranquilize our minds with your sugar-coated swill

You've turned rock and roll rebellion
Into Pat Boone sedation
Making sure nothing's left to the imagination

MTV get off the
MTV get off the
MTV get off the air!!!!!!!!
Get off the air!!!!!!!

See the latest rejects from the Muppet show
Wag their tits and their dicks
As they lip-synch on screen
There's something I don't like
About a band who always smiles...
Another tax write-off
For some schmuck who doesn't care

MTV get off the air!!!

And so it was
Our beloved corporate gods
Claimed they created rock video
Allowing it to sink as low in one year
As commercial tv has in 25!
It's the new frontier, they say
It's wide open, anything can happen !!!
But you've got a lot of nerve
To call yourself a pioneer
When you're too god-damn conservative
To take real chances.

Tin-eared
Graph-paper brained accountants
Instead of music fans
Call all the shots at giant record companies now.

The lowest common denominator rules!
Forget honesty,
Forget creativity,
The dumbest buy the mostest...
That's the name of the game!

But sales are slumping
And no one will say why...
Could it be they put out one too many lousy records? !?

MTV get off the air!
NOW!!

-Dead Kennedeys, MTV get off the air.

yes, so. i'm a snob. i never claimed to be anything otherwise.

warning: this is long. funny, but long.

2006-07-25T22:27:00.000-07:00

this is the second painfully long survey i've filled out tonight.

my problem. what the hell is.

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
i got cut. the cut did not heal completely cleanly. therefore, i have a scar.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
a few pieces of my framed art, a framed Bowie poster, a framed Bauhaus poster, and an unframed print of Waterhouse's "The Crystal Ball."

3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE?
ah, your standard silver flip phone. i taped a little black and white Spider Jerusalem head on it to cover up the logo on it. because. fucking hate logos. do i.

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
good music. better music than what you listen to.

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
eight A.M.... i know this because my mother ALWAYS calls me at that time on my birthday to remind me that this was when i came into the freakin' world... i know all too well the time i was born... way too fucking early...

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
i'm not answering this question, because i want too much, and this is a long enough survey as it is.

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
hot... delicious... fresh.... Krispy Kreme... donuts... ooooh...

8. WHAT IS THE VELOCITY OF AN UNLADEN SPARROW IN FLIGHT?
well, what kind of sparrow? a European or African sparrow?

oh, and since i AM a geek, and i AM all-knowing, i should take this moment to say that the person who wrote this quiz probably meant to write "swallow" instead of "sparrow". because the proper Monty Python reference is to a swallow. dumbass. go bang some coconuts together.

9. DO YOU PREFER HOT DOGS OR HAMBURGERS?
haaaaambugaaas!

10.WHAT ARE YOU CONSIDERED [[PREP, GOTH, JOCK, ETC]]?
indie goth freak in flipflops.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
depends on the situation, but generally not.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
me.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
i like Spring Rain and Summer Meadow by Crabtree & Evelyn.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
dark hair and light eyes. oooooh, damn.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
bah, energy drinks are for the weak.

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
either pepperoni and pineapple, or pepperoni and mushrooms, or black and green olives, or mushrooms alone, or mushrooms with black olives. but never all of them at once.

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
nah, i'm full. i already ate what i wanted.

19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
oh, probably Kelly, but i was also probably the last person to make Kelly mad, too, so that's okay.

20. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?
no comprende, wei.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU:
oh, probably some drooly little baby toy.

22. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE?
i do. though generally i despise people, i've found there are some out there worth knowing and loving.

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
no, which is fine, because double-jointed people are always cracking their knuckles and it grosses me out.

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING STORE?
Rugged Wearhouse ruuuulez.

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS TAKEN?
love is love, you fall in it no matter what. but i wouldn't act on it if the person was taken. because they wouldn't be there. someone took them awaaay...

29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
open your mouth up and say "you mean so much to me" and then hug the person in question. if they're far away, then leave them comments on myspace.

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED :
"a number from one to a hundred." (i left this answer, because that's what i would have said too. hee hee hee.)

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
as a brunette, i'm obviously biased.

32. WHO IS THE NUMBER ONE PERSON YOU CALL OFTEN?
i would say most likely Kelly.

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
everything annoys me. life sucks. you die. you die and you go to hell!

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE U.S.?
bah. sigh. not yet.

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
i am INVINCIBLE! there are no weaknesses here! well, except for the one.

37. FIRST JOB?
eh, babysitting, though i don't remember for who specifially.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
i didn't "do" it. that's just gross.

39. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS?
filling out another long survey. it was LJ-specific, so i posted it here.

40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
no. i will no longer answer this question. i will NOT get plastic fucking surgery unless it is robot parts! all right? sheesh!

41. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
because it was BIG, and it was LONG, and it was THERE.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
oh, my beadwork, which is nice. i like that.

43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME LEGAL FOR ANY AGE?
start avoiding the bars, because they'd be full of fucking kids.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
money, so i can get some stuff.

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
none. zero. not a one. this question is really starting to get on my nerves.

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
a fictional character that my mom made up, which explains a lot when you think about it.

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
i wouldn't presume to burden the stars in that way.

48. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE?
i like my thumbs. it's proof of my ability to evolve. i'm also fond of my middle fingers, as they are quite expressive at times.

49. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
i always cryin' about sometin.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
i like it fine, but it looks like shit when i write too fast.

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
rrrare roast beast! and i have a strange and unexplainable love for beef balogna. sid's brain parts are sickeningly underveloped.

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
nose picking and blurting out stupid shit i shouldn't mention when i get nervous and i'm trying to make conversation.

53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
i am not embarrassed by any of my CDs! not my Aqua CD, not my Styx CD, not even my Shakespear's Sister CD. no, i say. not even my TWO Fine Young Cannibals CDs. HA.

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOURSELF?
yeah, 'cause i'm fucking awesome!

55. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
no, and it's a heavy fucking burden sometimes, but i'm strong.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
not as much as personality.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE YOUR ANGER?
ranty ranty ranterson!

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
middle earth.

59. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
no, and i don't trust YOU, either.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
knives.

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE ON YOUR CELL PHONE?
the usual... zero through nine.

62. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
tss... does the pope put a funny outfit on and bless things?

64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
yes, though i'm too mature for that shit anymore.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GIRL/GUY?
i'm not really looking anymore, but if i am looking i know it when i see it.

66. WHATS YOUR NICKNAMES?
el sid is the obvious one, murphysbride and doombunny less so, and the latest and greatest was given to me last comments thread: SiDragon. it rules. i have dragon powers.

68. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
fuck shoelaces; i'm too lazy for that shit.

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
if it has any combination of fudge, caramel, peanut butter, and toffee flavors and/or ingredients, i'm all about it. ice cream=good.

73. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ARTIST/BAND?
i always say The Cure by default.

74. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
none of my teeth are that smart, really; they're not teeth with brains, they're just teeth.

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE?
only if they want to. i mean basically i'm wasting time.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Brian and Kelly playing pretty guitars.

77. LAST THING YOU ATE?
a Rolo. it was a good Rolo. perhaps i shall have another Rolo.

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
i haven't even talked on the phone today.

79. WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
the hands and the eyes.

80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG?
We Want A Rock by They Might Be Giants. ha ha. ha.

81. FAVORITE THING TO DO:?
oh, all sorts of things.

82. FAVORITE DRINK:
bourbon and something fizzy.

83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN:
i'm partial to Aries, though Virgo's a good one.

84. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?
college basketball... i might as well admit it... i've turned to the dark side...
GO HEELS!!!

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
brown.

86. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR?
also the brown.

87. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
nope, and i hope not to.

88. SIBLINGS?
one of each, both younger and less intelligent and well-groomed than i. hee.

89. FAVORITE MONTH?
October... Halloween and fall... 'nuff said. i shan't say any more.

90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
only vegetarian... seafood makes sid vomit slimey vomit stuff. eeew.

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
the same thing i'm watching now... glowy computer screen.

92. Favorite Day of the Year?
october 31st... um... how come only this question isn't in caps? are days not as important as TV shows?

93. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
not without at least three drinks in me.

94. SUMMER OR WINTER?
winter.

95. KISSES OR HUGS?
hugs, oddly enough. kisses are good, but they make me feel more vulnerable for some reason, and that makes me uncomfortable, and then i forget my social graces and you don't know what sort of things will start happening then.

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
relationships, one night stands are messy. it takes a relationship to really understand what the other person needs.

97. WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
probably ms. zom bee or the anti-girl, though i have to say they'd have to be feeling as masochistic as i am right now.

98. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
everyone, because who the fuck besides me would fill out a survey this long? unless, as i mentioned, ms. zom bee or the anti-girl decide to take on this heroic task...

99. BIGGEST FEAR?
crowds of idiots.

100. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
everybody loves meeee.

and do you know what the sad thing is? i think i've filled out this survey before.

oh god.

kill me.

please.

same as it ever was...

2006-07-24T20:38:00.000-07:00

ust so you know, i'm all better now. and such. chalk it all up to mood swing #2985632235866745...

anyway. as seems to be the usual when i sit down to write what's on my mind, i find my mind to be curiously empty. i think i might actually go to bed now.

*gasp*

yes, sid is actually going to bed BEFORE three in the morning. oh damn, that's a shocker... stop the freakin' presses..

that makes me a saaaad panda.

2006-07-22T20:16:00.000-07:00

i don't feel so good.

i wanted to get more jewelry made, i wanted to post something happy on all three blogs, i wanted to reply to comments, i wanted to get the house clean and the laundry done. i know. small list. but at least i got most of it done before The Headache came back.

The Headache. it is worrying me.

i had it all day yesterday, but i'd just assumed that it was exhaustion. i've had a really hard time sleeping recently. i mean a really hard time. like usually i have trouble getting to sleep anyway, but the past couple months in particular i've had a hard time getting to sleep, even with what they call "natural sleep aids". so for a while i've been getting maybe four-five hours of sleep every night for the past three or more months... actually, i don't remember the last good nights sleep i've had. even last night, when i went to bed at eleven-thirty (and that's early for me) i kept waking up every other hour or half-hour. for NO FUCKING REASON. aargh.

a friend of mine, who may or may not be reading this, always tells me to sleep the sleep of the just.

well the just must not rest too well at night. either that or i'm a total asshole. i'm starting to think perhaps it's the latter. for reasons that i will not and shall not mention. to anyone. ever. bah. ignore that, actually. my self-esteem is just in the shitter right now. and i want attention. attend to me.

*pity face*
*fat lip*
*velvet puppy eyes*
*sniffles*
*sad panda*

it's alive! it's ALIIIIIIIVE!!!!

2006-07-19T00:06:00.000-07:00

soooo... yep. haven't been around in a while, have i? i haven't been updating my LJ or my writing blog, either. but i have been faithfully updating my myspace blog, which i once swore i would never use because it SUCKED so much. i know. bad things are happening in the darkest depths of Sid's headmeats.

something is fundamentally, horribly, horribly wrong with me.

but it's also the part of me you all love. so i still only take the bad drugs.

aaanyway. i figure, i should at least give this a little more attention. i am not the most writey of persons like i once was, BUT. at the least i can post the same things here that i'm posting on myspace.

yes. it's not going to get too deep here, my friends.

because you see... the whole reason i started that myspace blog was just to post my surveys in a place where they wouldn't disappear after ten days. i love my surveys. i can't help it. i think i'm a genius. HA HA. a meme genius. it's nothing to be proud of. i think it has something to do with the twisted wrongness of my headmeats, which i have mentioned previously.

i am going to do my best to keep Tiny Little Rants Of Doom alive, and to return to you all, my minions, and read again your bloggy musings. i think this place is due a makeover, though. i don't know if it's my monitor or what, but i don't have the thing for white writing on a black background that i used to have. i don't want to just start over with a normal boring old Blogger template, though, which means i'm going to have to dedicate a day to fucking around with my current template EVEN MORE. it should be the big big fun.

anyway. i have missed you all. but i am returning. with something. even if it's just a different meme survey quizzy thing every day. so... here it be, in all its glorificusness.

right. those of you who were wondering to yourselves if the entire reason i even keep a blog is to fill out surveys... the answer is yes.

this one's a shuffle survey. i gots the shuffles.

Your Life: The Soundtrack
So, here's how it works:
Open your music player (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
Put it on shuffle.
Press play.
For every question type the song that's playing.
When you go to a new question press the next button.

Opening Credits:
The Shins- Saint Simon (i'll allow that. mostly because this song is fucking beautiful.)

Waking Up:
Interpol- Roland (interesting, as this is a song about, i believe, a coke dealer. not that i do that sort of thing.)

Falling in Love:
Editors- Heads In Bags (oh fuck that one's dead on... "we put our heads in bags for you; we go out of our way to help...")

Fight scene:
R.E.M.- So. Central Rain (not much good for a physical fight; but dead on for a verbal fight. "go build yourself another home...")

Breaking up:
They Might Be Giants- Whistling In The Dark (oh, fuuuuck, this actually works, in a freakish way... "i'm having a wonderful time, but i'd rather be whistling in the dark...")

Getting back together:
Bauhaus- Dive ("we're doing down, do the kamakazie dive..." oh yeah.)

Secret Love:
The Futureheads- Le Garage ("and i won't say a word if it's true; if it's not true"... yep, that's right.)

Life's Okay:
Weezer- In The Garage (i swear i didn't do that on purpose; shuffle is being particularly apt tonight. "in the garage, i feel safe, no one cares about my ways...")

Mental Breakdown:
Pixies- Brick Is Red (yep, that's about right. "my eyes have turned just the frayed color of diamond... the frayed color of ice.")

Driving Flashback:
The Smiths- Rubber Ring (ah! a rubber ring! a tire on a driving car, listening to the songs that made you cry, and the songs that saved your life...)

Partying:
Starflyer 59- The Contest Completed. (hum... probably saying that my partying days are over... "i needed to be in a contest completed... i'm leaving, i've come to; i'm beating no one.")

Happy Dance:
Bauhaus- Third Uncle (yess... sooo true... that song always makes me do the happy dance. in both this and its incarnations as "Say Hello To Angels" by Interpol, and "This Handsome Man" by The Smiths.)

Regretting:
Pixies- Holiday Song (oh, great, a song about incest. actually just a wicked son. i'm sure there are some mother's sons out there that regret the wickedness that they did unto ME.)

Long Night Alone:
The Cure- The Hanging Garden (obviously i compare my plight to that of animals being sacrificed to the gods in the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. "cover my face as the animals die...")

Final Battle:
Siouxsie & The Banshees- The Killing Jar ( "ashes to gashes, rust to dust... hand around the killing jar..." yep, that's a good song for the final battle.)

Death Scene:
Placebo- 36 Degrees (quite appropriate. "a skin that turns to blister-blue..")

End Credits:
Pixies- Where Is My Mind? (ha! just like the end credits for Fight Club!)

and since that was kind of short, here's a joke that, for some reason, made me laugh until i nearly peed myself. luckily the bathroom is a few steps away.

Three men died in a car crash and found themselves going straight to hell. Before them stood... The Devil!!! The Devil is grinning. "Hello, Gentlemen. I'm going to ask you each a question. You can't lie to the devil, so don't even try it."

He asks the first guy: "What was your biggest sin on earth?"

"Oh man, I just love drinkin' and being drunk, man." So the devil takes the man to a room full of alcohol of every type and description, shoves him inside, and locks the door behind him.

"See you in a 100 years," the devil laughs. He turns to the second man and asks him the same question: "What was your biggest sin?"

"Oh, man, I just love to have sex with the ladies; I was really unfaithful to my wife, man". So the devil takes the man to a room full of hundreds upon thousands of georgeous and beautiful naked women. The man runs gleefully inside and the devil locks the door behind him.

"See you in a 100 years," the devil laughs. He turns to the third man and asks him the same question: "What was your biggest sin?"

The third man says: "Oh, man, I just LOVE weed! I'm high all the time man, and I can't live without it!". The devil takes the man to a room packed with the most amazing grade-A bud you've ever seen, stacked to the roof! The man goes inside and the devil locks the door after saying, "See you in 100 years".

100 years later the devil comes by to let the three men out. He opens the door to the first man's room and finds the man collapsed on the ground with empty bottles lying around him and puke all over him. He was a mess. The devil chuckles quietly to himself and moves on.

The devil opens the second man's door and the man comes running out of the room screaming: "I'M GAY! I'M GAY!". The devil laughs his ass off and moves on.

Finally the devil comes to the third man's room and opens the door. Sitting in the middle of all the bud, in the exact same position the devil had left him in was the man. He looks up at the devil and with a single tear rolling down his cheek he asks: "hey man... got a light?"

now, come on, that WAS too funny... the only thing that would be funnier is if the devil give him a lighter and then goes away for another hundred years without giving him a pipe... or rolling papers...

all right; stick a fork in... you all take care of yourselves... it's too late for me...

just because i have to work today doesn't mean i don't remember.

2006-05-29T07:58:00.000-07:00

it's Memorial Day.

have a nice and respectful one.

it's a, it's a, it's a... it's a sin!

2006-05-20T01:48:00.000-07:00

i know, i know, i haven't been posting. or commenting. somehow all my free computer time keeps getting eaten up by MySpace. look, i don't know why it happens, it just does.

look, how about i dig up an old survey or something to placate you? sound good? all right... since i've been sinning so much by not blogging regularly...

SEVEN DEADLY SINS SURVEY!

WRATH

1. Who did you last get angry with?:
myself, probably, or maybe my dog or my kitten. probably the kitten; he's a little demon hell beast.

2. What is your weapon of choice?:
mmmm... knives...

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?:
yeah, if they were being enough of a prick to justify it.

4. How about of the same sex?:
again, if it was jusitfiable, i'd slap that bitch silly.

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?:
i don't know... sometimes i'm pretty oblivious to other people's emotions, as much as i don't want to be... it was probably my fiance, because i was being that way...

6. What is your pet peeve?:
ha... you got a year? i might cover a few of them.

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?:
i try to let them go, and they do eventually, but they just hang out for a while before they leave... and some of them have taken up permanent residence...

SLOTH

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?:
excercise my fat ass.

2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?:
six p.m... but i'd been up until nine in the morning the previous day.

3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't:
oh, the list is too long... i'm bad at keeping in touch with people... doesn't mean i love them any less, i just disassociate myself from reality too much.

4. What is the last lame excuse you made?:
"i got sick"... i mean, i did get sick, but it was lame.

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
no, i usually get about two minutes into one and i start bleeding from the ears so i have to stop and watch something intelligent.

6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?:
it's been a while.

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?:
twice, which is an improvement. normally i hit it three times minimum.

GLUTTONY

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?:
bah... scotch.

2. Meat eaters: white or dark meat?:
white, lily white like my arse... now you laugh because i am funny.

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?:
too much, resulting in much personal embarrassment and extreme illness, so i wouldn't recommend it to anyone, what i can put away.

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?:
no, god help us.

5. Do you have an issue with your weight?:
yes; but i have no one to blame for that but genetics and laziness.

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?:
sweets, unfortuantley... though too much of anything is really unappealing.

7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH"?:
no, babies are much too rich to be served at lunch.

LUST

1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?:
quite a few, i'm sure, but i never bothered counting.

2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?:
um... i don't know... i guess maybe twenty or more people have seen my boobs, and less than that for my ass, and less than that for me totally nakey. again, i haven't exactly kept count.

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?:
um... not nessecarily the boobs or crotchal area, but i do find myself studying their faces and staring at certain parts, like their mouths. i just watch sometimes how people's mouths move. i don't know if i'd call it sexual or anything like that, i just like watching the way people move through the world.

4. Have you "done it"?:
uh... ah-huh-huh... uh... you said "done it."

5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?:
the hands... the curve of the neck... the side of the hip...

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?:
nope, can't say i have.

7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?:
only for saftey's sake... i mean, not because i had promiscuous unprotected sex in crack alleys.

GREED

1. How many credit cards do you own?:
0, thank GOd.

2. What's your guilty pleasure store?:
sigh... Hot Topic... it's a love/hate relationship.

3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?:
buy a house and invest the rest so we can live comfortably and pursue our dreams without money woes getting in the way.

4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?:
rich... though a secret evil little part of me wants to be infamous.

5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?:
maybe; it depended on how much free time it left me... if i could have time to pursue my dreams and enjoyments, then yes, i'd work it, but if it sucks out my soul then i'd have to just not.

6. Have you ever stolen anything?:
yes, but i only regret stealing about half of the things i stole...

7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?:
according to iTunes, i have 1.11 GB on my hard drive, which is, also according to iTunes, 170 songs. in MP3 format. but this is just my bedroom computer. we have considerably more on the computer in the front room.

PRIDE

1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of?
i figured out what i really want to do with myself. now it's just a matter of getting it done.

2. What's one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?:
i don't know, honestly, i've never asked.

3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?:
to make jewelry and bead art for a living without having to work a damn subservient job in retail hell. also i would like to own a house. and get my book published.

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?:
no, i get annoyed when i come in last... being the best isn't as important to me as just being good enough.

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?:
yes... it was a crooked game, but it was the only game in town.

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?:
yeah, but i felt stupid doing it.

7. What did you do today that you're proud of?:
i made it through the day.

ENVY

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?:
i can't think of anything that i can't eventually get for myself. probably there's someone out there with beads that i covet, but that's about it, i think.

2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?:
goths... not gutter goths, or emo kids, but Victorian tea-party goths.

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?:
i'd rather be me... with Oprah's money.

4. Have you ever been cheated on?:
pretty much... there was one time where i suspected it but i never found out if it was true or not.

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?:
oh who hasn't, honestly... but i've never wished for major sugery.

6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?:
confidence... confidence that comes naturally, not acting.

7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey?:
i'm actually glad i didn't... it's bad enough i waste so much of my time filling them out; i'd hate to have so little of a life that i would sit around coming up with them...

8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?:
ooooh, wrath, if i HAD to pick, but really they're all quite fun in their own little ways... i mean, lust, whoo... good times. and sloth... very relaxing.

oh yes, that was fun, non? oui! yep...

let's see... the countdown to No More Balloons is now six days... six only. oh man will i be relieved. just walking into that place depresses me sometimes. won't matter in six days. in six days, i can trash them all i want on the internets and it won't affect me in the slightest. actually it probably will, but fuck it. at least i can say i went out fairly and kindly, dammit. at least i can say i was nice about it. because once i'm gone from there... i'm not even going to try to be nice about it.

anyway. boobies!!

take this jawb and shove it...

2006-04-28T20:18:00.000-07:00

i quit my job.

no, really, i did. fuck balloons. fuck them right in their balloon ass.

okay, i didn't quit, but i gave my notice.

three more weeks and i am fucking DONE with that place.

the way they treated me, they're lucky i haven't walked out sooner.

i'll rant about it later, when i am no longer affiliated with the place, and i have a bit more time for computery sorts of internet things.

until then... thank God for blogging DRUNK!

i'm still alive...

2006-04-15T07:31:00.000-07:00

just wanted you all to know. i've been having computer/internet problems, and i haven't had a chance to get on the computer long enough to really do anything but MySpace, 'cause i haven't been using my computer until now, really. our motherboard died, but we've got a new one and all is well again. yep. so of course i'm writing this in a hurry because i'm on my way to work now. it seems all i ever do is work these days. argh. tomorrow's going to be my first day off in ages... oh wait. no, i'm working then, too. sigh. good thing that drugs exist, 'cause i dunno how i'd cope with the pain otherwise.

oh, yes, and happy easter, all. here is an eastery easter sort of quiz for you to love...

You Are Jelly Beans

For you, Easter is all about fun and sweet treats. None of that Jesus dying on a cross stuff!

What Easter Candy Are You?

well, easter isn't just all about fun and sweet treats. it's also about, you know... bunnies. and some guy who got nailed to a stick for our sins. yeah.

i am bad. bad evil bad.

2006-03-26T08:02:00.000-08:00

well, you know, i think it's time i made a confession to you all. there's a reason i haven't been hanging out in blogland like i used to. it's not that i love it (or you, my lovely little minions in your matching jumpsuits of DOOM) but it's just that i haven't had the time. and when i have had the time... sigh... i've been on MySpace.

i don't know how it happened. i originally joined just to support my pookie's band, and then it turned into supporting local bands, and then it turned into supporting and finding bands i like. then my old college friends and high school friends started finding me. and then i joined some groups. groups where the topic of conversation is a certain band, or a certain writer, or beads. and then my friends started MySpace blogs, and i started blogging with them. not blogging like i do here, but still, the fun stupid lists and quizzes that i seem to have such an addiction to. Seven knows. he found me.

so. is MySpace going to replace Blogland? am i moving out? no, no no nonooooo... i still like it better here. i think i'm just all into it because it's something new. and i have to admit it is nice to go to a forum and "talk" to people who are into the same things i'm into. but. i see it as no reason to completely stop hanging out here. i'll still be around, popping my little doomy bunny head into your blogs and saying hello. but if i'm not around as much, please don't hold it against me. i'll be here sometimes. and you can always find me here, if you just can't get enough of the doomy fun.

what else. i've been aparment-hunting, thus part of my earlier stress and the whole "tornado in the trailer park" entry i made a couple weeks ago. it has not been for much, i tell you. we'll probably end up staying in this hell hole place. they have offered us a new apartment and a good deal to make up for their past transgressions, and they seem to want to keep us here. we're going to go and talk to the manager tomorrow and see just what kind of deal they'll cut us. i'm not huge on living in this apartment complex for another year, but if they keep treating us as well as they've been recently, maybe it won't be so bad. it's just ultimatley going to be easier financially for us to stay here... sigh. someday. someday i shall escape this hell.

anyway. i'm on the internets in a different place, too. yes, i am on my bead store job's website... yes, here's a link. try not to laugh too hard. it was the only picture the owner had of me, and i was kinda drunk in it. Christmas party. you know. hee hee hee. as for my other employment, it's not that bad, really. things have improved over there, enough so that i think i can stick it out until i'm a little bit more on my feet. the problem is that it feels like someone keeps pulling the rug out from under it. oh well. maybe i should get rid of the rug.

but it just really ties the room together...!

hey, have any of you seen the "UNpimp my ride" VW commercials? i really love them. they're great. but TV is the devil! the! devil! you think i don't know the devil when i see him? HA. we were roommates in college. me and the devil are like THIS.

what else... oh, nothing. i need to get off the computer and fold my laundry while watching the new Ron White special. oooh, and then they're going to show the episode where Chef dies on South Park. god, i'm soooooo pissed off about that whole scientology thing. it just makes me hate that "religion" even more than i already do. and i hate it pretty bad. Tom Cruise can kiss my shiney white hiney. did you hear that, Tom? DID YOU HEAR THAT, MR. CRAZY MAN?!?! kiss it, you fucking nutbag. and sue me while you're at it. and for those of you who don't know what i'm talking about, here's the story. also my good friend Ford made a wonderful post that i totally agree with regarding the subject. he wrote the rant that i meant to write. goddamn, i hate Scientologists. every time i find out someone is a scientologist, my regard for them goes woosh down the toilet. if i found out that, say, Robert Smith was a scientologist, i would either cut my wrists or stop listening to The Cure. i hate 'em that bad. hate. scientologists. hate even typing the word. hate them worse than i hate Duke. hate.

by the way, i'm perfectly aware of how strong a word "hate" is. believe me when i say that i am not over-exaggerating my pure and unabashed hatred of scientology and all that it is. i. hate. them.

all right. i'm calm again. going to fold laundry now. and laugh. yes. that is my plan. because i'm pretty damn sure Ron White isn't stupid enough to become a scientologist.

it's my birthday... doo-dee-doo...

2006-03-21T11:06:00.000-08:00

yet another year has passed, and i am even older. i suppose you're all expecting some deep introspective shit out of me, but i have no time for that in my life. no, you will have to settle for something silly yet again.

this was in an e-mail i got a while back, and i thought it would make a good birthday post. everything in red letters applies to me. all that other stuff was too rich for my blood...

YOU WERE A LITTLE GIRL IN THE 70'S IF...

You wore a rainbow shirt that was half-sleeves, and the rainbow went up one sleeve, across your chest, and down the other.

You made baby chocolate cakes in your Easy Bake Oven and washed them down with snow cones from your Snoopy Snow Cone Machine.

You had that Fisher Price Doctor's Kit with a stethoscope that actually worked.

You owned a bicycle with a banana seat and a plastic basket with flowers on it. (i ditched the basket.)

You learned to skate with actual skates (not roller blades) that had metal wheels. (they also had FOUR wheels)

You thought Gopher from Love Boat was cute (Admit it!) (um... no.)

You had nightmares after watching Fantasy Island.

You had rubber boots for rainy days and Moon boots for snowy days.

You had either a "bowl cut" or "pixie," not to mention the "Dorothy Hamil" because your Mom was sick of braiding your hair. People sometimes thought you were a boy.

Your Holly Hobbie sleeping bag was your most prized possession. (what about the Holly Hobbie doll, and jewelry box and necklace and . . .)

You wore a poncho, gauchos, and knickers.

You begged Santa for the electronic game, Simon.

You had the Donnie and Marie dolls with those pink and purple satiny shredded outfits.

You spent hours in your backyard on your metal swingset with the trapeze. The swing set tipped over at least once.

You had homemade ribbon barrettes in every imaginable color. (with the long strands hanging down with beads on the end! COOL!) (those were pretty cool, i'd have to admit.)

You had a pair of Doctor Scholl's sandals (the ones with hard sole &the buckle).

You wanted to be Laura Ingalls Wilder really bad; you wore that Little House on the Prairie-inspired plaid, ruffle shirt with the high neck in at least one school picture; and you despised Nellie Olson!

You wanted your first kiss to be at a roller rink.

Your hairstyle was described as having "wings" or "feathers" and you kept it "pretty" with the comb you kept in your back pocket.

You know who Strawberry Shortcake is, as well as her friends, BlueberryMuffin and Huckleberry Pie.

You carried a Muppets lunch box to school and it was metal, not plastic.

You and your girlfriends would fight over which of the Dukes of Hazzard was your boyfriend.

Every now and then "It's a Hard Knock Life" from the movie, "Annie" will pop into your brain and you can't stop singing it the whole day.

YOU had Star Wars action figures, too!

It was a big event in your household each year when the "Wizard of Oz" would come on TV. Your mom would break out the popcorn and sleeping bags!

You often asked your Magic-8 ball the question: "Who will I marry: Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garrett, or Rick Springfield?" (gah... i was in love with that kid from the TV show "Voyagers". who was that kid?)

You completely wore out your Grease, Saturday Night Fever, and Fame soundtrack record album.

You tried to do lots of arts and crafts, like yarn and Popsicle-stick God's eyes, decoupage, or those weird potholders made on a plastic loom.

You made Shrinky-Dinks and put iron-on kittens on your t-shirts!

You used to tape record songs off the radio by holding your portable tape player up to the speaker.

You couldn't wait to get the free animal poster that came when you ordered books from the Weekly Reader book club. (Double score if it was a teddy bear dressed in clothing.)

You learned everything you needed to know about girl issues from Judy Blume books such as "Are you there God? It's me, Margaret." (best. book. ever.)

You thought Olivia Newton John's song "Physical" was about aerobics. (and of course, wearing cool legwarmers!!)

You wore friendship pins on your tennis shoes, orshoelaces with heart or rainbow designs.

You wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer.

You had a Big Wheel with a brake on the side, and a
Sit-n-Spin.

You had subscriptions to Dynamite and Tiger Beat.

You spent all your allowance on Smurfs and scratch and smell stickers for your sticker album!

now, of course i'm kind of on the cusp... since i was born in '75 i also grew up in the 80's. so... (this time i didn't bother with making everything that applys to me red... nearly all of it applys to me.)

You Know You Were a Kid in the 80s if:

1. You ever wore leg warmers.

2. You ever ended a sentence w/ the word SIKE.

3. You watched Pound Puppies.

4. You can sing the rap to â€œFresh Prince of Bel Air.

5. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.

.6. You yearned to be a member of the babysitters club and tried to start one of your own.

7. You owned those lil Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.

8. You know that WOAH comes from Joey on Blossom.

9. Two words: M.C. Hammer.

10. If you ever watched Fraggle Rock.

11. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars. (HELL YEAH!!!)

12. You can sing the entire theme song to Duck Tales.

13. It was actually worth getting up on Sat morning to watch cartoons.

14. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.

15. You saw Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen.

16. You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class. (okay this i don't remember.)

17. You had a clip that held your shirt in a knot at the side.

18. You played the game MASH (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House.)

19. You wore a Jordache jean jacket and you were proud of it.

20. L.A. Gear... need I say more? (no, you needen't.)

21. You wanted to change your name to JEM in kindergarten

22. You remember all of the Ramona books.

23. You know the profound meaning of WAX ON, WAX OFF.

24. You wanted to be a Goonie.

25. You ever wore fluorescent clothing (some head to toe)

26. You can remember what Michael Jackson REALLY looked like.

27. You ever wondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

28. You took lunch pails to school.

29. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.

30. You still get the urge to say NOT after every sentence.

31. Barbie and the Rockers were your fav band.

32. You thought She-Ra and He-Man should hook up.

33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave you b/c you exchanged friendship bracelets.

34. You ever owned a pair of jelly shoes (and probably in neon colors.)

35. After Pee-Wee™s Big Adventures you kept saying: I know you are but what am I?

36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up!"

37. You remember skating before inline skates.

38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip-n-slide.

39. You had a Skip-it... or wanted one.

40. You had or attended a b-day party at Mc Donald's.

41. You've gone thru this nodding your head in agreement.

42.Don't worry, Be happy!

43. You wore like 8 pair of socks over tights w/ high top Reeboks.

44. You wore socks scrunched down.

45. You wore your hair scrunched up.

46. You had a perm. But only in your bangs. (well at least i never did THAT...)

47. "Where's the Beef? BETWEEN WENDY'S BUNS!!" (wasn't that the best?)

48.Miss MARY MACK MACK MACK all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK...

49. Boom boxes vs. cd players.

50. Both Gremlin movies.

51. CARE BEAR STARE!!!

52. You remember Rainbow Bright and My Lil Pony Tales.

53. You thought Doogie Howser was hot!

54. Alf, the furry brown alien from Melmac.

55. New Kids On the Block when they were cool.

56. Knew all the characters and their life stories on the ORIGINAL Saved by the Bell.

57. Know all the words to Bon Jovi- SHOT THRU THE HEART...

58. You just sang it to yourself.

59. You remember when Mullets were cool.

60. You tight rolled your pants.

61. You owned a banana clip!

62. Saftey pins decorated with colored beads clipped to shoelaces... Classic!

isn't it interesting how similar the two lists are? well, for those of you who grew up in those times, i hope i just filled your little hearts up with nostalgia. and for those of you who wish you'd grown up in those times after watching much too much of VH1, i hope i filled your little hearts up with the greenest of envy. though why you'd be envious is beyond me. probably because we didn't have all that PC Dr. Phil crap. and our TV shows were WAY cooler than yours. ha!

have a good day, minions. i command it!

tornado in a trailer park

2006-03-14T11:01:00.000-08:00

that's what my life feels like right now. i'm just not sure if i'm the tornado, or the trailer park.

the doomy harvest shall ripen soon. patience. acorns grow into mountain trees.

beer! it's raining beer!

2006-03-05T01:40:00.000-08:00

i was getting really sick of looking at that freaking long ass quiz post. it's already been a week since i've posted? and i have barely gotten through my blogroll in all this time. wow. i am so the lame ass bad blogger. they should kick me out of the club. i don't belong in Time Magazine...

ah, anyway. it hasn't been so bad a week. worked my ass off most of the time. got supremely frustrated with my co-workers and bosses at the balloon store. i swear everyone there is either on their period or going through menopause... and i'm talking about the guys, too. gaaaah. anyway. it's over now. The North Carolina Tarheels have just beat the Duke Blue Devils by seven points in Duke's own stadium. i'm working at the bead store tomorrow. life is good. i'm loving life and its goodness.

well, since i might be super lame again and not post for an entire week, and since i have a lot of bloggers to catch up with, i will provide not only some entertainment, but an opportunity for a mindless post of your own. for you too can copy this and fill in your own answers! yes! it is so much the fun for you!

80+ Random Questions I Guarantee You've Never Answered. (i can guarantee i have at some point... hee.)

Do you watch the Gilmore Girls?: i've seen a few episodes, and while i didn't hate them, i didn't exactly get my mind blown, either.

Have you ever enjoyed listening to Jack Johnson?: that is a very unfortunate name. and no.

Do you listen to Christian rock?: HELL no except for Starflyer 59, which i just don't count as christian because i like it.

Have you ever seen or enjoyed watching the O.C.?: i've seen it... and enjoyment was not exactly what i did with what i saw. i think it was actually something more akin to vomiting.

Do you have one or more Britney Spears C.D.?: what the fuck kind of masochist do you think i am?

Do you regularly watch the news?: yes, even though sometimes it makes my mind bleed.

Which radio station is your favorite?: i listen to Air America sometimes, NPR most of the time, and for music i usually rely on my local college station(s.)

Are you a Lost fanatic? : yes, and i'm not ashamed to say it. i don't have a crush on that guy who plays Sawyer like everyone else on the fucking planet does, but i'm obesessed with the plotline of that show.

[[Be honest]]

Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library?: i'm goin' off the rails on this crazy train!

Alanis Morissette?: no... i never really got into her.

Do you watch Family Guy regularly?: pretty regularly, but sometimes i'm not in the mood for it 'cause i've seen them all so many times.

The Simpsons?: ditto as above.

King of the Hill?: ditto as above... though those are three of my top five favorite animated shows.

[[Admit it]]

Do you read trashy romance novels often?: no, but i appreciate that they exist and i think that no one should ever be thought less of because they read a trashy romance novel or three. which is my way of saying that i could easily become one of those sorts of people who read trashy romance novels.

Do you really work out every day?: do you really believe you don't know the answer to that question, my friends?

Have you ever eaten chocolate in bed?: regularly... it is sad.

Have you ever eaten an entire pint, or more, of ice cream by yourself? : yes, but never all at once... i had to save room for my chocolate in bed.

Have you ever spent an entire day in bed without being sick?: yes, actually; that's what i did for Christmas last year.

Have you ever eaten nothing but junk food for a week straight? : many days at a time; you feel gnasty after a while.

Do you shower every single morning, no exceptions?: no; i usually take one after work to wash the day off of me.

Have you ever gone to school/work only 15 minutes after waking up?: often... and it's disorienting, let me tell you what. i always forget to put on my jewelry on days like that and then i just feel naked all day.

Do you ever forget to give an xmas present & instead keep it for yourself?: no, but i have given it to the same person later for their birthday instead. and i have given it to a different person for xmas instead, too.

Do you sing obnoxiously in the car when you're driving alone?: no, i only sing unobnoxiously.

Do you sing obnoxiously in the shower when no one's home?: yep, i sure do... and sometimes when someone is home, too.

Have you ever watched a little kid's show when you were over 12?: tch... yeah... i babysat for like, ever... plus i have to admit that i like some of them.

Have you ever looked forward to going to school?: not that i remember, but i'm sure there was a time when i was really young and school was still a novelty.

[[The Necessary Love Questions That Aren't So Necessary]]

(we'll have to replace the word CRUSH with BOYFRIEND)

Have you ever had an explicit dream involving your crush?: explicit how? you mean eyebrow wiggling sort of explicit or blood and brain parts gushing everywhere screaming sort of expicit. either way, i have.

...Did it include a broom closet? who the fuck are you, Sigmund Freud?

Have you ever pretended your crush was with you when they really weren't?: hee... yeah...

Did you draw for your first crush back in elementary school/preschool?: i don't remember; i might have. but i drew for everyone.

(Girls) Have you ever asked a guy out?: no, i am WAY too shy; i had to have at least four drinks in me before i even had the courage to talk to my fiance when we first met.

(Guys) Have you ever liked a girl but didn't ask her out b/c you were afraid?: oh, who hasn't? i mean, regardless of whatever sex you like...

Have you ever written a poem/story about your lovelife? a few...

An autobiography?: it would have to be fictional to be interesting... though certainly this blog is a... legacy.

Have you ever listened to a song repeatedly just because it reminded you of your crush?: oh, of course.

Have you ever spent over an hour thinking about nothing but your crush?: yes... well over an hour.

Do you reread meaningless AIM convos just because they're with your crush? : no, but generally we don't IM much; we're not one of those couples that IM each other while we're still in the same house.

Have you ever reconsidered liking someone because of their appearance? : if someone's a prick, then i'm not going to still like them just because they're good looking.

Have you ever liked someone solely for their appearance? no; usually i can tell if i like someone after watching them talk for about ten minutes.

[[The Questions You Love: Completely and Utterly Pointless Ones]]

Do you eat all the servings in the food groups on a daily basis?: in theory.

Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization?: only about certain things, like my CDs and my books, and even that not so much anymore.

Have you ever been treated for OCD? ADD?: no, though i'm sure i'd be diagnosed with the latter.

Do you own a graphing calculator?: ha ha ha ha ha no i'm way too right-brained to even know how to work that thing.

Have you ever been to South America or Africa?: not yet.

Have you ever owned a Klutz book or kit?: no... i know it's something cool and crafty but that's the extent of my knowledge.

Do you know how to knit?: i swear about five different people have tried to teach me how to knit and i just can't seem to remember how to do it right.

Do you have a cellphone or iPod with a patterened cover? no; but i did put a little bat sticker on my cell phone so i could cover up the Verizon logo.

Have you ever written song lyrics yourself and put them in your profile?: not my lyrics... i'm a little too shy to put those online.

Do you keep a diary or journal (online or on paper)?: ah... yeah. obviously. a few, actually, counting this one. i think that's sad. yeah... that's sad.

Did you ever want to be an astronaut or a teacher when you were a kid? i wanted to be a teacher at one point but that dream died a painful, bitter death. thanks for reminding me. you want i should give myself a papercut and pour lemon juice on it?

Do you own a striped sweater?: i have a sweater that's kinda stripey but it's more of a designer stripeyness, not a preppy stripeyness. and i wonder now if i spell it stripeyness or stripiness? i think i like the first one better. and now i wonder is stripeyness even a real word?

How often do you take a bubble bath?: not nearly as often as i'd like to.

When you open your closet, what is the dominant color of your clothes?: mostly black, red, and blue.

[[Truly Unusual This or That Questions]]

Baskin Robbins or Coldstone?: Ben & Jerry's, despite their hippie leanings.

Sees or Godiva?: i've never had Sees but i got nothing against Godiva...

The Shins or the Decemberists?: The Shins; i like both but The Decemberists kinda get on my nerves after a while.

America or Canada?: i don't know; i've not lived in Canada though i suspect i might like it better there in certain places.

Physics or chemistry?: chemistry, i suppose, though i'm no great shakes at either.

Glamorous or au naturale?: au naturale, but in a glamourous way.

Earphones or headphones?: headphones for home, earphones for walking.

Chocolate brown or teal?: chocolate brown; teal just has this 80's horror connotation to me, especially in conjunction with pink.

Earrings or a ring?: both, as big as possible... i'm a little flashy.

Commitment or casual dating?: commitment... i put the ring on.

Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings?: tss... Lord of the Rings, though no one should ever underestimate my geekiness where Harry Potter is concerned.

Fly or road trip?: train.

Starbucks or Petes?: even though i don't know what Pete's is, i'd take it over Starfucks, which tastes like molten shit lava. maybe that sounds harsh, but i have this thing about corporate coffee.

[[Another Wave of Random Questions]]

Do you know what a geisha is?: yes, and i have no desire to read her fucking memoirs thank you very much.

What is your favorite Disney movie?: hum... tie between Sleeping Beauty and Robin Hood. oh, and Mary Poppins is hands down the best live-action one.

Do you have a more classic style or do you stay up-to-date (clothes wise)?: i walk the fine line between the two.

How much jewelry do you own?: a fairly huge amount, considering i make it for a living. well, a partial living anyway.

What year do you (did you) graduate high school in?: 1993. yes, i am old... what? you'll be old, too, someday. so... whatever, junior.

Have you memorized the rejection hotline, just in case?: in case, what? i'm not exactly sure what this "rejection hotline" is, but i don't think i'd ever need to use it.

Have you ever given someone the rejection hotline as your number?: again, i'm not sure what this is exactly, but i can guess. and no, i would not do that; if i don't like you, you don't get my number.

Have you ever eaten at a food court?: numerous times, yes, and every time it's the same unpleasant experience.

Have you ever bought clothes at Sears?: sigh... yes, but not recently.

Do you own any Care Bears memorabilia?: no, but i wish i'd kept it from back in the day as they seem to be making quite a comeback.

Do you have a quilt on your bed?: it's not a real quilt, as a human being made it, but it's servicable and was still at least a gift. i don't know why, but i alway like when the blanket i sleep under is a gift from a family member.

What color is it?: Carolina blue... hey, if it's any shade of light blue, then it's Carolina blue.

all right. that's enough of that. again, i must thank those of you who are still coming here and reading this thing. i know i haven't been really posting what i consider to be my best recently. but it's just a bit of a slump. i'll get out of it soon. i mean i've got quite a few idiotic customer stories from my current jobs. and assloads of stupid questions that we get every day. it is there, ripe for the picking. and i shall pluck that fruit when the time is ripe. oh, how i shall pluck it. and we shall all savor the flavor of the doomy harvest. until then, i thank you again for sticking with me. you guys are very good minions. you shall be rewarded. with the doomy harvest fruits i mentioned plucking earlier. indeed. el sid does not forget her peeps.

pretty accurate... except for the lack of EVIL.

2006-02-25T12:05:00.000-08:00

this... now this is very interesting...

the Peacemaker
Test finished!

you chose BX - your Enneagram type is NINE.

"I am at peace"

Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure.
I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advatage of this.
Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.
Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally.
Ask me questions to help me get clear.
Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.
Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.
I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.
Let me know you like what I've done or said.
Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.

What I Like About Being a Nine

being nonjudgmental and accepting
caring for and being concerned about others
being able to relax and have a good time
knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around
my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator
my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now
being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What's Hard About Being a Nine

being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive
being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline
being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally
being confused about what I really want
caring too much about what others will think of me
not being listened to or taken seriously

Nines as Children Often

feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant
tune out a lot, especially when others argue
are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves

Nines as Parents

are supportive, kind, and warm
are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

You liked the test? so please RATE it :-)

You are not completely happy with the result?!
You chose BX

Would you rather have chosen:

AX (SEVEN)

CX (TWO)

BY (FOUR)

BZ (FIVE)

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 26% on ABC

You scored higher than 31% on XYZ

Link: The Quick and Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

this quiz takes up a lot of room. but it is suprisingly dead-on considering it was only a two-question quiz... anyway. as you may have guessed, today is a quizzy sort of day. i am sorry. but that is how it is for me right now.
Your results:
You are Spock

Spock		70%
An Expendable Character (Redshirt)		70%
Uhura		65%
Data		63%
Mr. Scott		60%
Geordi LaForge		60%
Deanna Troi		60%
Jean-Luc Picard		50%
James T. Kirk (Captain)		40%
Leonard McCoy (Bones)		40%
Chekov		40%
Will Riker		40%
Mr. Sulu		35%
Beverly Crusher		35%
Worf		35%

You are skilled in knowledge and logic.
You believe that the needs of the many
outweigh the needs of the few.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Test

now that's just too fucking cool. Spock rules. the only thing that would have been cooler was Data, but Spock is the original. he's old school. yeah!

as for the new school... i don't know if any of you saw this movie, or even liked it. but i lurved it. and so this is soley for... well, those of you that liked Serenity, and me.
Your results:
You are Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)

Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)		90%
Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)		80%
Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)		70%
Wash (Ship Pilot)		65%
Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic)		60%
River (Stowaway)		60%
Jayne Cobb (Mercenary)		50%
Inara Serra (Companion)		40%
Derrial Book (Shepherd)		35%
A Reaver (Cannibal)		25%
Alliance		15%

You are good at fixing things.
You are usually cheerful.
You appreciate being treated
with delicacy and specialness.

Click here to take the Serenity Personality Quiz

again... very long quizzes... i don't know what's up with the big gaps here. i have no idea how to fix them. and so! they do not get fixed! ha ha!

my kitten is sitting in front of this computer now trying to swat at the words as they come up on the screen... it is just about the funniest thing in the world. those of you who blog with cats at home know what it is of which i speak.

finally, i would like to end with an apology. i haven't been keeping up much with my fellow bloggers, and as such i am amazed that any of you even want to leave me a comment these days. rest assured, i am still reading up on you, i just haven't been commenting as much. just like my posts sometimes, i guess i don't have a whole lot to say right now. i'm just trying to have some fun. there's so much stress in my life that i can't even begin to articulate it, and so much drama (created mostly in MY thick headbone) that i don't even want to articulate it. but all will be better soon, i know. and you know. so thanks for still coming by, my minons. i want you to know that i appreciate the attention.

telute... and quiz!

Which British Band Are You?

ah, yes... i rock.

teeeenaage WAAASTELAAAAND!!!

2006-02-20T18:26:00.000-08:00

well, i'm not a teenager. but i'm out there...

You're The Moon!

You frequently take small steps, but you think very highly of each and
every one of them. This aloof attitude doesn't begin to reflect how high and mighty you
actually are, though you are able to reflect light onto others when it seems appropriate.
Whether the glass is half full, half empty, waxing pedantic, or even crescent-shaped is
something ever-changing in your perspective. These mood swings at least follow a
consistent cycle, one that makes others believe you have mystical powers. Ultimately,
your head is always in the clouds and you just can't seem to stay grounded.

Take the State Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

i just found a new quiz site. so that's where i'll be tonight.

oh, and i posted a quiz in my writing blog. also a new short story. so if you still want to read some of my stuff, go there. go there anyway, my ego could use the stroking.

brains... brains... oh, the delicious brains...

2006-02-18T15:06:00.000-08:00

i was going to write a real post, seeing as i haven't written one in a while, but... i couldn't think. i needed help. and thus... this.

45 fun facts about what's going on in my brain.......

1. My uncle once: drove all the way down to North Carolina to get me home for Christmas even though his truck was a lease and he had to be careful about how many miles he put on it. i was supposed to caravan with some fellow Ohioans but the car i was riding in broke down and there wasn't enough room in the other car for me.

2. Never in my life have I: smoked crack, shot heroin, severed a major artery (*knock on wood*), killed another human being with my bare hands, or slapped a hooker. actually there's a lot of things i haven't done, but those are some of the things that i wouldn't really like to do.

3. The one person who can drive me nuts: i think any member of my family can fall into that category... i love them, but oh, the nuts they can drive me!!!

4. High School is: thankfully over.

5. When I'm nervous: i can't talk very well and i forget to say things right so i get really quiet.

6. The last time I cried was: personal.

7. If I were to get married right now my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be: nobody... i'm really not into the idea of having to pick and choose among my family and friends and make them dress up in fugly dresses while i have "my day"... i'd really rather share the day with everyone.

9. My hair: isn't purple anymore. i want purple hair again, just one more time...

10. When I was 5: my little sister was born. she was born at home and in the next room, we were making oatmeal raisin cookies; my mom's friends were distracting my little brother and i from the birth. i got to see her after she came out. it's kinda funny because i was there when she had her first baby, too. just writing that down made me start to cry.

11. Last Christmas I: stayed in bed all day, and i wasn't even sick. we did it for world peace... it didn't work so good, though.

12. When I turn my head left, I see: a David Bowie poster.

13. When I turn my head right, I see: the David Bowie poster reflected in the glass of the artwork hung up on the opposite wall.

14. When I look down I see: my maroon/magenta/pink pajama pants.

15. The craziest recent event was: our car overheated and we had to get a new thermostat put in, and it was a good thing that we knew someone who would work on the car for cheap, because he had to take out half the freakin' engine to get to the thermostat... it cost us 40$ where it would have cost anyone else god only knows how much...

16. If I was a character on Will and Grace I'd be: a guest star.

17. By this time next year: i'll be living somewhere else and hopefully have a better job.

18. My favorite Aunt is: i don't pick favorites out loud where my family is concerned.

19. I have a hard time understanding: Icelandic.

20. One time at a family gathering: i got really drunk and high and no one noticed.

21. You know I "like" you if: i get really quiet and have to drink like five highballs to even be able to speak to you like a normal human being.

22. If I won an award, the first person (people) I'd thank is: myself... i won the award! just kidding. i would be amazed that i won any sort of award in the first place... generally i'm good enough but i always seem to come up short somehow.

23. Take my advice: and don't.

24. My ideal breakfast is: waffles with strawberries, hard scrambled eggs, bacon and/or sausage, home fries, and hot buttered toast! mmm... toast. oh, and coffee and orange juice to drink.

25. If you visit my hometown: be sure to flip someone off for me.

26. Where do you plan to visit anytime soon: anywhere but here.

27. If you spend the night at my house: we'd stay up all night drinking and eating chocolate and watching stupid movies and doing tarot readings and stuff. and then we'd go out somewhere for breakfast as soon as the sun came up.

28. I'd stop my wedding if: it was turning into a circus.

29. The world could do without: a lot of bad shit. but let's just start with Hillary Duff and move on from there. baby steps to a better world... baby steps.

30. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: listen to Hillary Duff ruin another song after that cover of "My Generation"... oh, shit... she did! she and her eeevil sister... pain!

31. Most recent thing you've bought yourself: cigarettes.

32. Most recent thing someone else bought for you: flowers.

33. My favorite blonde is: Stiffler's Mom.

34. My favorite brunette is: my pookie.

35. The last time I was high: hee hee hee.

36. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: pigs. just for the ironic chaos of it all.

37. I should have been: more courageous.

38. Once, at a bar: i got my ass kicked at pool. actually, that was more than once.

39. Last night: i was tired, but i still stayed up 'till nearly five in the morning.

40. There's this girl I know who: would do anything to be a real girl.

41. There's this guy I know who: would die for me.

42. Today: is the greatest day i've ever known... sorry, i had to do it, i think in song.

43. If I ever go back to school I'll: probably stick it through this time, and hope that i have something to show for it.

44. My birthday is: coming up soon.

45. I am listening to: She Wants Revenge. they're so teh great.

all right, i'm going to get off this computer and sit in front of the TV instead. i want my brains to melt and run out of my ears...

a private on the battlefield of love...

2006-02-14T04:57:00.000-08:00

all i have to say today is that i hope i survive. it is Valentine's day, my minions, and i am working at a balloon store. i hope we have enough stupid boxes of chocolate and stuffed animals and heart-shaped shit to satisfy every single desperate idiot who calls and/or runs in at the last minute. god, please.

well, i tried to find a Valentiney quiz and this was the best i could do. i'm convinced that the person who wrote this quiz was hitting the crack pipe hard-core, though.

Your heart beats for love. You believe that a good hug can make everything better (by the way don't go around doing that, you may scare someone) You have a light patient air to you that calms people around you. You can speak just above a whisper and people will still hear you. You often can see what others are thinking and feeling and you know just how to cheer someone up from the blues. You also have a wild side that likes going to parties and meeting new people. You know how to have fun and you are often the life of the party.

quote: "Life without love is no life at all."

What does your heart beat for? (detailed results with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

yeah.... like i just go around hugging people. anyway. i have to go to work early today even though i already freakin' worked 11 and a half!!! hours yesterday just to get ready for today. i've already been told that today is going to make yesterday look like a cakewalk.

so, like i said. commence to the prayin' for me...

oh, yeah. and have a happy Valentine's Day.

i was saving this for a rainy day... and i'm sure it's raining somewhere.

2006-02-10T09:36:00.000-08:00

could it be... yes it is... a quiz!

RAVEN EYES

You have Raven Eyes!

Positive Traits: Intellectual, Wise, Experienced, Honest, Trustworthy
Negative Traits: Pompous, Condescending, Withdrawn, Pessimistic, Depressed

Your eyes are the windows to your soul. What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

well, the negative traits are certainly spot on... ah, and the positives, i suppose. bah. anyway... by the quiz at the beginning, you must take it to mean that i am going to keep deluging you with silly quizzes and silly little meme things all the live long day, right? no. just this one for now. maybe i'll write a real post later, but i was just getting tired of the last one. telute.

master blaster sippin' on the shasta.

2006-02-05T05:48:00.000-08:00

hello. and welcome to... random post of DOOM!!!

first of all, i thought i'd do something i haven't done in a good long while, not since, in fact, the beginning of this blog... a list of the things that are making me happy/pissed/emotional in general right now. this should be fun, should it not? yes, it should. so here come 'da fun!

1. file under "pissed": Cindy Sheehan's arrest at the State Of The Union Address. right, well, normally i don't wax political on this blog, or give people with an obvious agenda attention, but this is too important to overlook. i know that this is kind of old news, and i know she's been released (but with no apology... not even an insincere one,) but it still bugs me: Cindy Sheehan was arrested for wearing a t-shirt, and nothing else. she was not unfurling a banner, she wasn't jumping up and down in the seats screaming "FUCK BUSH!", and, she was a legitimate guest at the event. she was wearing a shirt that said "2445 dead... how many more?" which in my mind is actually a pretty mild statement. i'm not saying i like Cindy Sheehan, or that i think it was particularly smart of her to wear the shirt to the SOTU address in the first place, but i DID think the reaction to her wearing the shirt was WRONG. this is the USA, and we have rights. and lest you think that i'm being partisan here, remember that Beverly Young, the wife of Rep. C.W. Bill Young (R) of Florida, was also ejected from the gallery (though she wasn't fucking arrested) for wearing a shirt that said: "Support The Troops: Defending Our Freedom." as far as i'm concerned, both actions were equally wrong. neither woman was asked to remove or cover up the shirt they were wearing. they were both told they were "protesting"... uh... what the fuck? i didn't mean to write such a long paragraph on this, but basically what i'm saying is that what happened to both women was WRONG, especially in Sheehan's case, because she was roughed up and arrested, while Rep. Young's wife was just escorted out. yes, i know, neither of them should have worn the shirts... yes, i know, they should have abided by some sort of dress code because, after all, the SOTU address is a solemn occasion. but there is no freakin' law saying that either woman should NOT wear a t-shirt with a printed statement on it... it's in bad taste, but it's not illegal. they should have both been asked to either cover up or remove their shirts, not dragged from the gallery in humiliation. period. end of story. the fact that the women were accused of "protesting" and taken out is what is pissing me off. it's a free country, dammit! IT IS A FREE COUNTRY. do not forget who we are and what we stand for... we are FREE in every way and that means we're even free enough to wear a t-shirt that says "fuck shit poop" on it in glowing sparkly neon letters to the State Of The Union address. it's not in good taste, no, but it's certainly not a fucking PROTEST.

2. file under "happy": well, what's not to be happy about, really? but what is making me particularly happy at this moment is that i have finally, finally sat down at this computer and started WRITING AGAIN. i can't believe it. i'm on fire. it's like these past few weeks of writer's block haven't even touched me... and i have been BLOCKED UP. hopefully this trend will continue, and i'll feel like i'm something resembling human again.

3. file under "thrilled but slightly pissed": the women's North Carolina Tarheels beat the Duke Blue Devils last Sunday, making them not only the number one team in their own division (and, incidentally, in the country,) but in ALL divisions in the ACC... they are UNDEFEATED!!! YEAH!!! unfortuntatley no one seems to give a shit, because it's women's basketball. that annoys me. the Lady Tarheels got more game than the Gentlemen Tarheels this season, but you wouldn't know it around here... i was sure that there would be some sort of celebration happening but nothing happened. the women's team had to throw around their own toilet paper (no, i'm not making that up, they really did.) come on, college fans, a little respect for the ladies, eh?

4. file under "anxious": the men's North Carolina Tarheels take on the Duke Blue Devils at the Dean Smith Center in Chapel Hill NC on Tuesday, Feburary 7th. Duke is currently undefeated in the ACC (just barely... oh, Boston College, you came sooooo close!) and is ranked number 2 in the nation. whooptie-shit. they've gotten lucky. they're good, but there are better teams out there, dammit, and i swear half the games they've won they've won on technicalities. i can't stand 'em! argh! those of you who aren't basketball fans, just imagine the biggest rivalry with your own favorite sports teams and you'll have an idea of how much i can't stand Duke. those smug little... ooooh, i want to shove their faces into their own dook... i want us to beat Duke soooo bad i don't even know if i can stand it. the women's team did it... come on, Tarheels, i'm lookin' your way... you gotta do it!

GO HEELS!!! BEAT DUKE!!!

5. file under "happy dancin' monkey": music! music is making me so the happy person right now. it makes me sad, sometimes, a little bit, because i haven't been able to afford to buy all the CDs that i want and i want a lot. but, yay, people burn things for me! and give things to me! i am in love with music. i don't ever want it to leave me. you're thinking i'm going to make a list now. i am in fact. a list within a list! only i would be silly enough to do this. or maybe i wouldn't. hum. regardless...

El Sid's list of her current favorite albums that she is listening to constantly:

1. Fischerspooner- Oydessy
2. Depeche Mode- Playing The Angel
3. Death Cab For Cutie- Plans
4. Franz Ferdinand- You Could Have It So Much Better...
5. The Futureheads- The Futureheads
6. Bloc Party- Silent Alarm Remixed

all right! that's all done, then! time for... a quiz! this one made me laugh like a maniac when i finished it. i'm so very evil... hee hee!

You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.

Satanism

79%

agnosticism

71%

Paganism

67%

Buddhism

63%

atheism

50%

Islam

50%

Hinduism

42%

Christianity

29%

Judaism

25%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

ha ha! boo! i is the devil's servant! wheeee! actually if you think about it the answer shouldn't suprise you in the least. just because i personally think religion is a crutch and people should be able to live their own lives without subscribing to the rules written down in some 2,000 year old book doesn't mean that i don't respect the right of people who want to believe otherwise. like i've said before... we are gifted with this wonderful thing called Free Will, and we should enjoy it every living breathing day we have in our short little pathetic lives. if believing that makes me a Satanist... well, then i guess me and the devil have a poker date.

did that make sense to you? it did to me. that's all that matters! i warned you this was the random post of doom. DOOM!

oh, and apparently there's some sort of football game being played today. and apparently some geriatric band will play at halftime. people are making a bit of a fuss over this. i have just one thing to say.

GO STEELERS!

well, you know, i have to pull for the team that's going to beat the team that beat the team from my state. if the Panthers had made it again this year it would have been a different story... i just want you to know. and i might have rooted for Seattle 'cause they're underdogs, but... i have to go with the Steelers. family obligations. things like that. you know.

plus i honestly don't give a crap.

you minions have a good Superbowl Sunday, though. don't make any stupid bets, and if you do, then at least win a lot of money. telute.

damn right i am...

2006-01-30T00:30:00.000-08:00

bad fucking ass. that's all i have to say for now.

i'll say more later.

right now i'm just in such a good mood i can't stand it.

i do so very much apologize...

2006-01-24T19:17:00.000-08:00

hello my minions. welcome to the most depressing day of the year.

and then cheer the fuck up! it's over now!

well, i have been a very bad poster. it seems that i can come up with very little to post recently. i don't think i've run dry as far as writing is concerned, but i certainly feel like i'm in a slump. i am definitley keeping this blog alive, no worries there, don't even mention it. but i feel pressured--not by you all, but by myself-- to post regularly in this thing. i need to take a while, step back... sort of rediscover my love for blogger. so i won't be posting as much, but i will still be posting. there will still be many tales of beading and such to come.

i'm in the process of considering quitting my balloon store job. i say "in the process" only because i haven't given my notice yet. i've already decided that the job is not for me. it's not the work that i can't handle; it's the job. while i don't think badly of either of my bosses as people--indeed as people i admire them greatly-- i don't think much of them as bosses. granted, if i could tell them how to run their business and treat their employees, i wouldn't have to be their employee. but i really don't think i am the right person for that job. i don't know if they'll find the right person. i just know that i'm not it. i'm a little nervous about going out and job-hunting again, but at least i have another job and some jewelry sales to keep my ass barely floating in the meantime. jesus. i don't even wanna think about it.

let me tell you about what i'm doing right now. i am typing this, and watching The Daily Show and laughing my ass off 'cause it's funny. and i just made this bad ass pair of earrings that would make even Beyonce go: "damn, girl!" and i have some new favorite bands to love, one of which, She Wants Revenge, are playing on Jimmy Kimmel tonight (which would be the only reason for me to watch that horrid show... gah... he should stick with prank calls and mysoginist jokes.) and i have a really cool new Blondie shirt that i got for three bucks. it makes my boobs look good. life is good. and i have no complaints.

only rants. of doom! but of course over here the "of doom" part is understood. when i get a new job, i will tell you, and i will tell you more about why i'm quitting the current one. right now i don't want to jinx it by talking (or writing) about it anymore. instead... let's dance like monkeys with glee! yeah! the monkey glee!

you be good, my minions. and by good, i mean very good. and by very good, i mean... of course... EVIL! yesss...

oh, hell, here's a quiz.

Congradulations! You are Heart Ache. Trapped in

the chest of torn lovers, you make the

stomache turn and the blood boil. The color

of red and green, envyous rage that infects

your victims. Every sight, every smell, every

touch, every memory becomes infested with

black love. Although you heal with time, you

always come back for seconds, sometimes

thirds. The heart is always served best in

small pieces...

WHAT KIND OF PAIN ARE YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla

ha ha ha ha. envyous rage.

from myspace to yours... enjoy.

2006-01-18T09:36:00.000-08:00

i have no time for a real post today my minions. therefore you get... meme thing that i got off of MySpace! wheee! commence to jumpin' with joy!

1. Initials: SLG. pleasant, that. makes you think of a slug, eh? yeah, me too.

2. Name someone with the same birthday as you: Johann Sebastian Bach.

3. Favorite food: chocolate.

4. For or against same sex marriage? for. why is that even an issue? what the fuck?

5. Are you homophobic? ah-ha-ha-ha... no.

6. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings? nah, they all suck these days. i watched that Kenny the shark show once... that was some of the dumbest shit i've ever seen.

7. Do you believe in God? yeah, but i also believe in free will, so that really makes god somewhat irrelevant.

8. How many U.S states have you been to? gah... i don't know... maybe like 20-some? i don't really feel like remembering.

9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in?4.

10. Have you ever lived outside the U.S? no, but there are days when the thought is pretty damn appealing i tell you that.

11. Name something you like physically about yourself:my purty little hands.

12. Something non-physical you like about yourself:i'm wierd. hee.

13. What is your dads name?Nunya Dambiznes. ha ha, i am funny.

14. What is your dream car?i have Prius envy. actually my dream car is a custom VW bug, one of the new ones, but if it was super gas-efficient i wouldn't mind so much.

15. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?Japan, Europe, New Zealand, the UK.

16. Favorite type of food?italiano!

17. Favorite holiday?halloween... dur...

18. Do you download music? i do occasionally, but i prefer buying CDs... better sound quality and less chance of viruses and spyware mucking up my computer.

19. How many illegal things have you done? hee... i lost count. it's not like i'm murdering babies, though, sheesh.

20. Where was your first date? the movies. we saw "The Fisher King" which was, wierdly enough, a very good date movie. of course we'd already established ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend at that point, but, you know.

21. Would you date the person who posted this before you?i don't think so, but we'd hang out. 'sides, i'm not dating anymore, silly meme thing!!! sheesh...

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you? yes... nice havin' a musician for a pookie...

23. Have you ever cried for no reason? i need a reason?

24. Do you like President Bush? no comment.

25. Have you ever bungee jumped? no, but i might.

26. Have you ever white-water rafted? i almost have several times, but the trip always seems to fall through.

27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? ech... yes... and only johnny depp is allowed to do that.

28. Last person you hugged?my pookie.

29. Have you met a real redneck? i'm in the south! does the pope wear a funny hat?

30. How is the weather right now? quite warm for this time of year, actually.

31. What song are you listening to right now? Bauhaus- Bela Legosi's Dead.
32. What is your current favorite song? um... if i HAD to pick, i would say Franz Ferdinand- The Fallen.

33. What was the last movie you watched? Wedding Crashers... it was pretty funny but it didn't blow me away with it's funniness.

34. Do you wear contacts? nope... 20/20 vision!

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house? work. bah.

36. What are you afraid of the most? machines keeping me alive when my mind is turned to cabbage.

37. Have you ever hit on someone of the opposite sex? not on purpose... i have a very remote flirting style.

38. Any pets? two... a big ol' doggie named Pixie (she just turned 10 last week) and a big ol' kitten named M (8mo.) they are my children.

39. Have you ever loved someone? i have loved more deeply than a monster like yourself could ever dream of.

40. What really turns you on? skinny androgynous types with long black hair... like my pookie.

41. What do you usually order from Starbucks? a double mocha kiss my shiney white hiney you corporate fucks. fuck Starbucks, i don't go to that whorehouse. not to mention their coffee sucks ass.

42. Have you ever fired a gun? only a squirt gun. and does a love gun count?

43. Are you missing someone? nope, i just checked; he's still there.

44. Say something totally random about yourself: i often like to
write up a little haiku
also i giggle.

45. Do you have an iPod? fuck you.

46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? someone once told me i looked like Minnie Driver and it made my day.

47. Whats your mom's name? Mom.

48. Who would you like to see right now? any member of my family, primarily my grandparents and/or my nephews and nieces.

49. Are you comfortable with your height?sometimes i wish i was taller but generally yeah.

50. Dogs or cats?i love both, but i'm more of a cat person.

51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supossed to be doing? who hasn't?

52. Favorite flower? um... i like flowers usually. i guess i would say daffodils.

53. Butter, plain, kettle,or salted popcorn? buttery and salty as all hell, thus negating any sort of positive effect that the popcorn has.

54. What books are you reading? currently reading the Lord Of The Rings trilogy for the umpteenth time.

55. Have you ever ridden in a limo? i don't remember if i have or not. don't think so, though.

56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? not for a long time... *knocks on wood*

57. Do you watch MTV? trash! shit! tripe! filth! i watch VH1 classics and remember the days when those videos were actually on MTV.

58. What's something that really annoys you? MTV, as a matter of fact.

59. What are some things you really like? music and beads and movies and fantasy and art and comics and drawings of little tiny people with ginormous heads.

60. Do you like Michael Jackson? not anymore. hey, here's a joke... how is Jacko different from a plastic bag? give up? one's dangerous for your kids to play with... and one's a plastic bag! ha ha ha!

61. Can you dance? yes, and i'll do it at the slightest provocation.

62. Favorite football team? bah... football... Carolina Panthers.

63. Favorite breakfast food? egg and sausage and bacon biscuit!

65. What's the latest you have ever stayed out? until the dawn, my dearies.

66. When was the last time you went bowling? uh... fuck... like seventh grade? unless watching The Big Lebowski counts.

67. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? no, luckily... *knockin' on wood again*

68. What's your favorite state to live in?North Cackalacky!

and i promise i'll have a real post tomorrow.

it's just another manic sunday... oh-we-oh...

2006-01-15T10:46:00.000-08:00

i started the day being all pissed off because i thought Spin magazine didn't put Bloc Party's album "Silent Alarm" in their top forty best albums of 2005. then i realized they did, and i felt like a dumbass. then i had a super revelation, which was: what the fuck do i care about who Spin picks for their top forty best albums, anyway? that rag is starting to go the way of the dinosaur (i.e. Rolling Stone.) and then i got depressed and ate some Gummi Savers. i'm all right now. in case you wondered.

you want a little story about my bead store life, don't you. yes, i know you do. all right, then.

there's a restaurant in the same mall as the bead store; a little family diner sort of place. the food is pretty much typical diner food... not too great, not totally terrible... but i don't like going there because not only is it usually full of screaming kids with parents who have not ONE CLUE about how to discipline them, but their prices are, i think, a bit high. i mean, if i want Waffle House food, then i'll just go to the Waffle House, dig? to make a long rant short: i do not care for this place at all, and their blueberry pancakes anger me.

but apparently, as with so many other things, i am in the minority on this. because it seems to me that every single person in the entire universe comes to eat at this place on Saturday and Sunday. and they bring their kids. now this place, which i will call for the purposes of this article the "diner", is pretty good-sized, plus it has a patio. and yet there is still always a huge crowd of people waiting to get in there, sitting in the mall hallways outside the restaurant, drinking complimentary cups of coffee (the "diner" puts out a big thing of coffee for people to drink from while they're waiting,) and wandering about the mall like lost little sheep. and people wait for hours. yes, i pluralized that word... HOURS to get into this sub-standard diner. i don't get it. i really do not. it baffles me. but, on to the point.

these people, we have established, are waiting around in the mall to get into this "diner", and are generally waiting at least an hour. what do they do with that time? well, they wander. on Sundays, when this unpleasant trend is at its height, they wander around with their little cups of coffee and peer into the windows of the shops that are closed. but we are not closed on Sundays, so they wander into our store. they wander around, say "ooh, how pretty" or "oooh, how shiny" and then ask us dumb questions like: "so, what do you do with beads?" and then they lightly admonish their children "no, sweetie, don't do that" as they are taking several containers of beads and dumping them all together to make one big one, or as they are plunging their hands into the bead containers and knocking them over. and then the hostess or host at the "diner" hollers down the hallway: "SMITH PARTY OF SIX" and they convince their badly-behaved offspring to leave the store with them so they can all go and eat substandard pancakes and cold home fries together.

the point of this story being: i'm so glad i'm not working today.

i am gone now. the deadline for stories at The Forum (newly revived!) is tomorrow, and though i bragged of having a story nearly completed, it all turned to shit and i have to finish it. now. no more fun for me. aside from doing the laundry, of course. that's always the big fat fun. wheee.

you eat shit 'cause you're stupid and shallow, but i like it when you're stupid and shallow...

2006-01-12T15:23:00.000-08:00

argh... what a day. my minions. what a day. i don't even want to talk about it.

i have been a bad blogger. for all the time i've been spending on the internet, i thought i'd be writing more. but i haven't been writing much, not even comments. i apologize. i'll try to make it up tonight. i'm breathing new life into my writing blog, Ripping Off The Ring, by posting my (finally, fully) finished novel, tenativley titled A Real Fairy Tale, a chapter at a time. and it's all
© an' shit, so. you know. please check it out and gimme some feedback.

so... Inanna posted this quiz she made up for her son after reading Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's stone. she told us all to have fun with it. this, for me, is teh fun. i just want to emphazize that i, at no time, have grabbed the book to look up an answer, even though it sits only a few feet away from me, on my bookshelf. there it will stay. because i am showing off. what a nerd i am. fellow HP fans, tell me if i got anything wrong!

1. Who tells Harry he’s a wizard? Hagrid, the gamekeeper.
2. What does Dumbledore use to put out the street lights? a Put-Outer, which resembles a silver lighter.
3. Who is the only person who can control Peeves? the Bloody Baron.
4. Name the Gryffindor Ghost. Nearly Headless Nick, but he would prefer to be called Sir Nicholas Mimsy-Porpington.
5. How do the first years get to Hogwarts from the train station? they get on boats and cross the lake.
6. What does Hagrid buy Harry for his birthday? his owl, Hedwig.
7. Which student does Harry meet in Diagon Alley? Draco Malfoy, in Madame Malkim's shop.
8. What’s the name of the pub that leads to Diagon Alley? The Leaky Cauldron.
9. Who helps Harry get to Platform 9 3/4? Mrs. Weasley.
10. What is the name of Neville’s toad? Trevor! (i heart Neville.)
11. What does Neville’s grandmother send him? a Remembrall.
12. What type of broom does Harry have? a Nimbus 2000.
13. How many players on a Quidditch team? seven: three Chasers, two Beaters, a Keeper, and a Seeker.
14. Name the teachers for the following subjects: Transfiguration, History of Magic, Charms, Herbology, Potions, and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Transfiguration: Professor McGonagall. History of Magic: Professor Binns, a ghost. Charms: Professor Flitwick. Herbology: Professor Sprout. Potions: Professor Snape. Defense Against the Dark Arts: Professor Quirrell.
15. What type of dragon does Hagrid have? a Norwegian Ridgeback.
16. What is its name? Norbert.
17. What is the name of the Gryffindor Quidditch team captain? Oliver Wood.
18. Name the three centaurs Harry meets in the Forbidden Forest. Bane, Ronan, and Firenze.
19. What is the first challenge to retrieve the Sorcerer’s Stone? Fluffy, the three-headed dog.
20. The second? the Devil's Snare.
21. The third? the flying keys.
22. The fourth? the giant chess set.
23. The fifth? the potions.
24. The sixth? the troll.
25. The seventh? the Mirror of Erised.
26. How do you read the inscription around the Mirror of Erised? backwards.
27. What happens if you drink unicorn blood? you will live forever, but you will be forever damned.
28. What did Hagrid feed his dragon after it was born? milk and chicken blood.
29. Where does Harry discover the information they were looking for about Nicolas Flamel? on the back of a Chocolate Frog card featuring Professor Dumbledore.
30. Who gave Harry the invisibility cloak? Dumbledore; though it originally belonged to Harry's father.
31. What does Hagrid use as a wand? a pink umbrella.
32. What flavor of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Bean did Dumbledore eat while visiting Harry in the hospital wing? alas... earwax!
33. Where or from who does Harry purchase his school books? Florish & Botts Booksellers.
34. His robes? Madame Malkim's Robes For All Occasions.
35. His wand? Ollivander's.
36. What book does Hermione loan him before his first Quidditch match? Quiddictch Through The Ages, by Kennelworthy Whisp. (i think i spelled that right.)
37. What is the name of the Hogwart’s Librarian? Madame Pince.
38. Who teaches them to fly on broomsticks? Madame Hooch.
39. Who commentates the Quidditch matches? Lee Jordan.
40. Name the positions on a Quidditch team. the three Chasers are the goal scorers. the Keeper defends the goal posts. the two Beaters keep the Bludgers away from their teammates (and send them towards their opponents.) the Seeker's job is to catch the Golden Snitch.

all right. those of you who have no idea who this Harry Potter feller is: this made no sense. those of you who know who Harry Potter is: know for a fact now that i am a nerd. those of you who are rabid HP fans such as i: will tell me anything i got wrong and why. and will laugh at me because i probably spelled the author of Quidditch Through The Ages' name wrong. heh.

drink! drink! drink!

2006-01-09T17:58:00.000-08:00

first of all, let's get the obligitory blog whorage out of the way. fives fives fives, gimme gimme gimme, obey obey obey. there. what can i say? generally i like to get my attention in a passive-agressive way. i'm just being fully aggressive for once.

yesterday this woman came into the bead store with an expression of what looked like utter disgust on her face. i mean, it looked like someone had hit her on the back when she was smelling shit and her face got stuck that way. my first thought when i saw her was: "oh my god! how can she walk into a place like this, full of beautiful sparkly shiny things, and look like it's morally offending?" then, of course, i realized that she wasn't disgusted or annoyed. she wasn't even an unpleasant person. she made a point of mentioning what a nice store we had and how beautiful everything was. she even smiled! and yet, right after the smile was done, when she just let her features relax into their normal state, her expression couldn't be mistaken for anything but a sneer. the sneer didn't reach her eyes. it wasn't discernable in her voice. she seemed, aside from the sneer, to be a sincerely nice person. and so then i thought: "oh, shit, what if it's the same way with me? what if my face shows some sort of pent-up, inward emotion that i'm not even aware of when i just relax it?" people are always asking me if i'm okay, even when i'm not wearing pale make-up. what if i'm always looking tragic and sad and i don't even know it? of course, i can console myself with the thought that, even if it's true, at least i don't look like i'm smelling shit all the time. ah ha ha ha ha haaa!

i would like to make this a more meaningful post, seein' as i've got this 2.5 rating to get over, but... i am full of unoriginal thoughts this night. so, enjoy this survey about one of my former favorite pastimes... drinkin'! feel free to steal it and fill it out yourselves! just remember, you have to be drunk when you're doin' it!

1. Have you ever been drunk? now why would i go and do something like that? oh, yeah. life.

2. How old were you the first time you got drunk? 21. sad but true. it was my birthday and i got drunk on mead, which, by the way, tastes like rancid honey.

3. Have you ever gotten/given digits while intoxicated? just once. wouldn't you know it was the one that asked me to marry him.

4. Have you ever drunk dialed? nope, i'm not a drunk dialer, really. generally i'm too drunk to even get the number right.

5. Have you ever been drunk in front of family members? yep.

6. Have you ever had to cover up the fact that you were drunk? see above. also, at work a couple times, at my old job, when the shift was so rough i didin't have time to wait until it was over to start knocking back a few beers. and one time with a bicycle cop but i'll save that story for the next question.

7. Have you ever been arrested for any alcohol related crime? nope, i behave. there was a time once, though, where i was on my bike--drunk as a skunk!-- coming back from a party at 3 A.M. where i got pulled by a bicycle cop (i shit you not) for not having a helmet on. shit. i don't remember what i said to him, but it worked, so it must have been inspired.

8. Have you ever hooked-up with someone while drunk? again, just once, and luckily, again, he was the one i'm with now.

9. Ever forgot their name? nope, got it in my cell phone... ha ha ha.

10. When was the last time you were drunk? now.

11. Have you ever been on a drunken binge? if by binge you mean from morning 'till night, then, yeah. and if by night, you mean morning, then... yeah.

12. Do you need alcohol to have a good time? not particularly. there's better drugs for that. but alcohol works if you don't have anything better. heh.

13. What kind of alcohol gets you the most intoxicated? liquor's quicker.

14. Favorite liquor: i guess i'm pretty easy to please... Jack Daniel's black label does me just fine.

15. Favorite beer: Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

16. Have you ever woken up after a night of drinking and found out that you were still drunk? yep... and then i started drinking again... ha ha haaa.

17. Have you ever swam drunk? yep... i don't think at this point in my life there's a lot that i haven't done drunk.

18. What kind of a drunk are you? usually i'm a happy, giggling, silly drunk... but sometimes i can be a truthful, sarcastic drunk. i think it depends on the kind of liquor.

19. Is alcohol like "truth serum" to you? yes, it is. you get enough whiskey in my belly and i will tell you what i think of you.

20. Favorite drinking partners: my friends.

21. Favorite bar? i have a few, but i get annoyed with bars sometimes 'cause i have to pay per drink.

22. Have you ever completely blacked out? a couple of times. it always scares teh crap out of me, 'cause i don't like being THAT out of control. if i ever have an episode like that, i cool it on the drinkies for a while.

23. Have you ever puked from drinking? hah. now that is by far the stupidest question on this survey.

24. Have you ever had the 'crying drunks'? yes, but again, rarely. it freaks me out the same way blacking out does, so if i have a crying drunk episode then i'll take a break from drinking for a little while afterwards, too.

25. Can you still do physical activity while intoxicated? depends on how intoxicated i am, and the physicality of the activity. for example, generally i am still capable of lighting cigarettes and lifting the glass. getting up and walking in a straight line is another story altogether.

26. Have you ever gotten into a drunken fight? no, but i could have if i wanted.

27. Who is the most annoying drunk that you know? i won't name names, but she's related to me. and she's older. old enough to be my mom, in fact. (i love you mom.)

28. Who is the most flirtatious drunk? again, no names, but i know who she is, and she's a filthy little whore, so she is...

29. Do you have a drunken nickname? the Gulf of Sidra. yeah, 'cause i get bombed so much. ha ha ha... dear god that wasn't funny at all, was it?

30. Have you received a booty call?
drunk: no, thank the dark lords.
sober: sadly, yes.

31. Funniest drunken scene: dear lord, there have been so many... after all, when i'm drunk and they're drunker, everything is freakin' hilarous.

32. Favorite song(s) about drinking: hum. something incoherent and Irish most likely. possibly Sally MacLennanne by The Pouges.

at this point, number thirty-three is missing on the list. apparently the person i stole this from was drunk when they posted it.

34. Have you ever been hit on by someone decently older? decently? try indecently... fucker was fuckin' old enough to be my grandpa.

35. What's the worst 'buzz kill'? see above.

36. Have you ever dated a bartender or bouncer or cocktail waitress? not when they were actually doing that job.

37. Do you ever say to yourself, "Fuck, I need a Beer"? honey, what do you think?

38. Do strangers ever buy you drinks? that's only happened to me a few times, and every time the dickhead bought me a cheap beer.

39. Have you ever drank too much? i have indeed.

40. Is there anything you refuse to drink? i'm pretty much over cheap-ass shitty beer and liquor. and i'm not big on wine, either; it always puts me to sleep. and mead: ain't happenin'.

41. Have you ever been drunk on a plane? no, but i should have been. don't like flying much.

42. Have you ever gotten drunk during the day? oh, yes.

43. Have you ever had to run from the cops and leave the beer behind? nope, though i've had to hide it a few times... hee hee hee.

44. What's your favorite drinking game? hum... i can't really pick a favorite 'cause i can't ever remember the rules to any of them. if you drink enough, they're always fun!

45. Have you ever injured yourself while drunk? not badly.

46. What's the most destructive thing that you have done while you were drunk? not much, really... just tippped over some glasses and spilled some ashtrays... the usual party fouls.

47. Ever been drunk at a concert? oh yes.

48. Is this survey getting too long? not as such, but it is making me feel like a total lush.

49. Are you ready for the last question? as ready as i'll ever be...

50. Why do you drink? because I CAN.

and that's the end. my computer is lagging on Blogger for some damn reason and it is driving me insane so i'm gonna go now. telute, minons. you be all you can be, now.

sacre fromage bleu!

2006-01-06T06:16:00.000-08:00

hello, minions. some of you--those of you who lead a hollow and meaningless existence without me--may have noticed that i haven't been around much, niether in commenting land or blogland. i do apologize. i meant to post something last night, but got distracted by beads. this was actually a good thing, as generally it's the other way around. this computer will suck me into it's evil web of evilness at the slightest provocation! also, i meant to post something the day before yesterday, but i fell victim to the evils of... the pre-packaged deli sandwich!

it is true. Tuesday, for my lunch, i wanted a sandwich. i was in the grocery store and i was idly looking through the deli section when this caught my eye: a buffalo-style chicken sandwich with bleu cheese, cucumbers, lettuce and tomato on 7-grain bread. doesn't that sound good? sounded good to me, so i plunked down the $4.99 it cost. bah! that was money ill-spent. i go to eat my sandwich, but first i open it up, because i'm going to take off the tomato. because i don't like tomato, that's why. i don't care if you do. i don't. anyway, it wouldn't have made much of a difference, because even tomato-lovers would have scorned this unripe, thinly sliced tomato. you think the other vegetable parts were any better? oh, no. there were two wafer-thin slices of cucumber, taken from, i believe, the skinniest cucumber on record. i love cucumber. so i was a little disappointed there. but the lettuce, at least, was crisp and fluffy, and the meat and bleu cheese looked good and flavorful. ha. ha ha ha. i bit into that sandwich and was rewarded with... tastlessness! the most boring sandwich i've ever had. i still ate it, because i was hungry, and i had nothing else to eat on account of i just spent five dollars on this damn sandwich. so i manage to eat most of this tasteless abomination, and swear to myself that i shall never eat a pre-packaged sandwich from any grocery store deli ever again, no matter how good it looks.

you think the saga of the Worst Ever Sandwich ends here? oh no, it does not. i woke up the next day feeling like i'd been popping percocets all night. woozy, dizzy, nauseous. i try to walk it off, but all i do is vomit. i proceed to then vomit all morning, until everything and anything in my belly is now swimming in the porcelian lake. then i sleep for hours and wake up with the headache of DOOM. i manage to eat some horrible chicken soup (consumers out there, do not bother with Campells Select, any of it. it is watery shite) and some delicious saltines and i don't die, and the next day i feel better, if a little weakened.

but now i am at my full strength again! and i say unto thee... thanks. you have been good minons, because you have gone here and given me fives. those of you who haven't... well. well, well. you still have a chance to go to The Weblog Review... and give me fives! i shall be a blog whore for a bit longer at least. eight votes is not nearly enough. appease me! or i shall unleash bleu cheese upon you! yes.

i gotta jet out, minions. you behave yourselves. and by "behave yourselves" i really mean "go forth and give me fives." telute.

something to waste your time with... that is what you are doing, yes? updated

2006-01-02T21:54:00.000-08:00

how best to start off the new year, i wondered to myself today. i have a post in the works about beads that should be educational... perhaps i should work on that? nah, i'm not in the mood. well, self, i said, how about a rant about the idiotic things people do when they come into the bead store, ala your old burrito rants! naaah... kinda wanta save that first post until after i do the bead education one. all right self, then how about just a random silly post of silliness? you know, with lots of quizzes and jokes and meme things that so many people have come to depend upon you for? hey... that sounds kinda easy. yeah! let's do a random silly post!

nothin' like kickin' off the New Year with a little bit a' quizzin's!

yeah, so... had a little too much fun in blogthings land... here's some of the high points...

You Are a Glam Rocker!

You put the "show" in rock show with your larger than life self.
No doubt, you are all about making good music...
But what really gets you going is having an over the top show.
Glitter, costumes, and wild hair are your thing - with some rock thrown in!

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

i'm turning japanese i think i'm turning japanese i really think so...

You Are a Goth!

You're so gothically outrageous, and you aren't afraid to flaunt it.
Whether you dress up like Robert Smith or a tragic Little Bo Peep,
chances are that you'll be parading around with the rest of the goths at Yoyogi Park on Sunday.
Don't forget your white makeup and blue lipstick! Who knows?
You may just get picked up by one of the seedy photographers.

What's Your Japanese Subculture?

not suprising considering...

The Cure Shares Your Taste in Music

See their whole playlist here (iTunes required)

Which Musician (or Group) Shares Your Taste in Music?

all i could say when i got this result was... yeah! if only it were true...

Your Daddy Is Patrick Stewart

What You Call Him: Old Man

Why You Love Him: He takes you to Disneyland

Who's Your Daddy?

hee. also, my ~~stoned~~ drunk ass got a big kick out of Rum And Monkey today. the "So You've Hired A Hippie" article in particular had me in pain from laughing. and of course the fun with quizzes...

Which Extremity of the World Are You?
From the towering colossi at Rum and Monkey.

me. dry. oh, i never would have thought it. no. not in a million years.

Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.

ah ha ha ha ha. ha ha ha ha. ah ha ha ha hee.

To drink my weight, I would have to chug 132 pints of beer!
How big is your beer belly?
Powered by the mighty Rum and Monkey.

and then i was feeling a little immature after all that giggling, so i went to Quizilla...

What type of dragon are you?(beautiful pics- for girls and guys)
brought to you by Quizilla

funny... looks like my dragon's giving Cuthulu a hug. okay, enough with the quizzes. even i am getting sick of taking them. and just so you know, i generally take more quizzes than i post on here. a lot more. it's sad, really. really sad.

and finally, i leave you with a new year's haiku:

2005 sucked
hopefully 2006
will not suck so hard.

ah, i got nothin'. happy new year, minions.

NEW!

and do not forget this! never forget this. i be the big blog whore this month. go to TWR and give my blog a better vote than a damn 2.5! snarl! i've just checked it, my minons, and i am displeased. i am quite unhappy. only two votes so far. so this is it, huh? this is my big army of DOOM? two votes. sheesh. some mindless drove of minions YOU guys are.

...i always knew that drunken son of a bitch was gonna kill himself one day.

2005-12-29T20:12:00.000-08:00

just watchin' a little bit of Clay Pigeons. that's all the headline means. don't go too deep into it, now.

so, hey, as i mentioned last post, i got reviewed by the almighty and all-powerful WEBLOG REVIEW. ooooh. after i don't know how long kissing their ass by linking them on my sidebar, they finally pay attention to me. don't i feel special. in the grand tradition of blog whores before me (whose legacy i must certainly respect,) i will mention this piece of information in every post for the next month, at least. because. you know. you must give me fives. FIVES!

well, my minions, this particular post is dedicated to the actual article itself. and beware... i am in one of those Moods. it is time for some snarky blogging. the review is in purple, i am in red. i look good in red.

Humor is a diverse human condition with no real defining preconditions. Much like beauty, humor is difficult to quantify or describe. (this is true. i thought i was being funny; he thinks i'm actually being personal on this blog.) The English love their wordplay, the Australians are self deprecating, and the Americans like to offend. At "Tiny Little Rants of Doom" our author, El Sid, lets it rip like an american stand up, only sitting down. (he makes it seem like i'm farting.) "Tiny Little Rants of Doom" is highly stylistic with an obviously gothic slant (boo! i am spooky!), and black humor to match. (i'm not sure what stylistic means in this context, but i'll take it as a compliment.)

The design is typical blogger, with all the color pulled down to #000000 (black). (like my life.) Reading through the latest posts I become familiar with the authors stream of consciousness rants (stream of what hey i like those raspberry pop-tarts, how 'bout you did you see that?!?!?! it was blue! i like blue...) which have no regard for trivial and annoying things such as capitalization, (this from someone who didn't capitalize "American" in the last paragraph. bah! capitalization is for the weak) although she seems to have a good appreciation for the exclamation mark, as it is well-used. (it's because i have no mouth, and i must scream.) You feel like you are inside her crazy, anarchic head, privy to her raving. (now he thinks i crazy. you don't think i'm crazy, do you, minions? well if you don't think so, you wrong. i damn crazy as all hell.) Granted, there is humor in here, but this blog is a personal one foremost. (yeah, but i think it's funny that i'm so crazy. that's why i call this a humor blog. there is a LOT of personal stuff i leave far away from this thing, i tell you right now.) I skip ahead to her favorite posts among the plethora of interesting links along the side, and read some genuinely funny lists she has written about her evilness, customer types, hospitality FAQs, The Cure albums, and with the anger poured on thick and sticky about a million reasons she hates her job, or rather, her customers. (hum. i didn't know anger was sticky. thick, yes, but i've always thought of anger as thick and meaty, like a big steak. an angry steak! with lots of A1 sauce.) I honestly believe you should be nice to people serving you food, really, think about it. I sympathize with our evil overlady completely, having worked in the service industry myself. (oh, well, look at John Kerry over here! yeah he's been down in the trenches... but, he did at least say "our evil overlady". that's right. come to momma. join my army of minons.) All in all "Tiny Little Rants of Doom" is a devilishly funny rant site, with less wit and more anger in its humor cocktail. (he really thinks i'm angry all the time. i'm not always angry. sometimes i'm pissed off. other times i'm just ticked off. occasionally, i'm slightly miffed.) Our authors bubbly personality is evident and the posts are mildly engaging. (wait... now i'm bubbly? ha! with bubbles of anger!) We share some heros (eg Neil Gaiman, The Cure) (and... he mocks my gothness?) and I'm fairly certain her friends would find her site a riot. (ha, that's what he thinks. i have no friends. minions only.) Its interesting to get inside the mind of a gothic waitress who wants to main and destroy her clientele and worth a read through if only for its perverse outlook on life. (i think he meant to write "maim", not "main." it's okay. somtimes i dont speel too good, ether. and i always like being called perverse.)

i have to admit it's a favorable review, and my evil little comments sound petty and whining. but he only gave me a 2.5! i thought i was winning him over to the dark side, too... bah. still, thank you for reviewing my blog, Weblog Review guy. you are very nice to pay attention to me. and i don't think you were really mocking my gothness. at least not too badly.

anyway, happy new year, my minions. i plan to drink/smoke/etc. myself into oblivion tomorrow night, and then spend the majority of the next day compiling my list of resolutions, just like the rest of you. see you next year.

merry christmas. that's right. i said it.

2005-12-25T21:24:00.000-08:00

first, something cute. this is why we didn't put the tree up this year.

okay, all done with that. now. i should tell you that originally this post was a big rant about the whole Merry Christmas VS. Happy Holidays Smackdown. i would have said things like, you know, one of the greatest things about this country is the fact that we DO have religious freedom. you can worship Jesus Christ, or you can follow the path of Buddah, or you can pray at the bloody steaming altar of your lord and master, Satan, or you can choose to do NONE of these things and rest secure in the cold scientific fact that when you die, your flesh rots in your grave and that's it. i would have gone on to say that whether you say "Happy Holidays" or "Merry Met On This Holy Day Commemorating The Birth Of Our Saviour, Who Then Went On To Be Poked With Spears And Hung On A Pointy Stick For Our Sins", there should be nothing more taken from that greeting than an expression of politness and greeting and well-wishes. i would have said that it's hardly worth getting upset over, because it isn't like those of us who say "Merry Christmas" (or "Happy Christmas", as they say across the pond) are setting out to intentionally upset someone. it's not like we sit around saying "hey. hey, dude, that guy looks like a filthy Jew. i'm gonna go up and wish him a Merry Christmas! ha ha ha!" that would just be silly.

yes, i was going to rant, but i felt that would cast a negative light on this lovely holiday season and all that shit, so i decided not to. instead, i'm going to just take this time to wish the loveliest things to everyone. well-wishes and good things for everyone who celebrates at this time of year, because, honestly, most of us do in one way or another. may you all have the wonderful time you wanted to have. may only great and good things come to you. may this Christmas day be a wonderful day for you whether you celebrate it or not.

i know that's not particularly evil of me, but there you go.

oh, and a new thing. i just got reviewed by The Weblog Review. i got a 2.5 out of five, which is certainly better than a 1. those of you who want to up the ante a little bit, go in droves to give me fives. fives! i demand them!

go in peace, my little minions. go in peace.

you crazy. i knows you is. craaaazy.

2005-12-21T15:38:00.000-08:00

well. i was just gonna bury that last post, but what the hell, i'll leave it up. i was in not so good a mood today and was kinda dreading work. now i feel better; work wasn't really so bad and whatever happens there i am pretty damn sure i can handle it. yup. i still think i might be getting sick. my jaw hurts and my throat's got a wee tickle in it, and i keep getting these sinus headaches. either i'm going to get a head cold or an aneurysm. whatever happens, it'll be interesting.

so, to make up for that short and somewhat depressing post earlier, here is a little test i got via the e-mails. is you or isn't you crazy in the head? answer this question and find out!

Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be just that! She fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What is her motive in killing her sister? (Give this some thought before you answer, and then scroll down.)

Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly.

did i get it right? ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. you'd like to know that, wouldn't you? no, don't worry, i didn't get it right. just because i'm evil doesn't mean i'm crazy. at least, not in THAT way. um. yet.

you have a merry something, minions. i'll be back. got to avoid doing the things i have to do somehow... hee.

crap.

2005-12-21T06:28:00.000-08:00

i think i'm getting sick. just in time for christmas! wheeee!

my balloon job is starting to depress me.

i have no time to make presents for everyone by christmas eve.

i do not feel jolly.

i do not feel particularly merry, either.

someone please make it stop.

spooky me!

2005-12-18T18:16:00.000-08:00

so, here i am again, feeling the need to blog yet powerless to come up with a good subject.

The Dark Angel

You are an angel of death who lurks in the shadows.
Dark, brooding, mysterious, and deeply pensive,
you lead a solitary life. You tend to be rather
stoic; others see you as a cold and stony ice
queen, but hey, you're just doing your job.

What's so scary about you: It is your frigidity
that is frightening. You are capable of acting
without regard to emotion.

Your gemstone: Onyx
Your Moon: Death Moon (March)

Which Beautiful Vampiress are You? (For Girls! - Gothic Anime Pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

great... so, i'm the angel of death... but i'm BLONDE? no offense to blondes, but... you really think that the angel of death would have a face like a kewpie doll and shimmering blonde hair? hum. don't think so. still, other than that, i like the result. and the moon was in my birthday month. oooooh, spooky. i am so very cold and emotionless. yup.

so, anyway. how have your holidays been going, my minions? they have been sneaking up on me, i must say. i mean... Christmas is next week! do i have any presents made? no. do i have any shopping done? noooo. do i even have anything even remotley ready at all for Christmas day? you have got to be kidding! ha ha ha! i work retail! there is no rest for me!

the most interesting thing that has happened to me recently is that i got my RL Blogger cherry popped. yes, although the meeting was brief, i finally got to hang out with my first blogger ever: the lovely Inanna Moon. she came down to see my bead store yesterday. oh, and me, of course. hee. we had some coffee, talked, no big whoop. (hee hee. i am funny. dig my crazy SNL reference.) she got some lovely Myuki Delicas for a project she's working on, and she showed me some of her a-mazing beadwork! she said that i was a lot less goth than she thought i would be. it is true... i've toned it down. i can be very spooky at only a moment's notice, though. really. i can. i had fun hangin' out and i wish i'd had more time, but i had to work and she had to drive back. thanks for making that drive, Nanner! it was soooo coooool to meet you, even if it was just a quickie.

so, i went on that day to have one of the busiest days EVER since i started working there today. as i mentioned, Christmas day is kind of sneaking up on me, and apparently it's sneaking up on everyone else, too. our work table was mobbed all day. MOBBED. there were little girls sitting on the floor making jewelry. there was no flat surface that did not have some person on it making a pair of earrings, or having us make a pair of earrings for them. tools everywhere. beads upon the floor. mass chaos! it's no wonder i'm not working on Christmas presents, even though i'm off today and it's the perfect opportunity. i just can't make anything. my creativity was sucked dry. therefore, this post will be as random as possible.

THIS is for Lois. you think you've got a flatulent cat? ha ha! and while we're on the subject of farts, i'm glad that Celti noticed the farty link in my last post. i leave it here for you again, just so you can enjoy it for real. i don't know. farts make me giggle. the word "fart" makes me giggle. it just does.

oh, so, i watched the 40 Year Old Virgin today. that is a great, great, great movie. very hilarious, but also very sweet. Steve Corell is my hero.

my new favorite band is Ok Go. they have a little bit of the poppy syrup that i love, but it is poured over the rocks that ROCK, which i love even more.

really all i'm doing is putting off the moment when i have to clean the bathroom and put on real clothes. i dragged my pookie out to the xmas party for one of my jobs last night, and now tonight he's dragging me out to his work xmas party. i got invited to my old burrito monkey hut xmas party, but i'm not going. because. i will get drunk and say what i think. that won't make anyone happy. if any of my old co-workers are reading this, i'm sorry, but i have to work in the morning and i still have issues. maybe next year.

i have to clean the cat box, too. gah.

well, yet again i thought i'd get snow today and yet again i got nothing but RAIN. i don't understand. it was cold enough to snow. it IS cold enough to snow. it looked like an impressive storm on the radar. but yet again i was disappointed. bah.

on a better note, my Tarheels are kickin' ass this year! we started out the season unranked, and now we're number 19 in the country. sa-weet! we're 6-1 in the season so far... our only loss was to Illinois, who we beat the pants off of in the National Championship last year, so that's okay. we lost a lot more players to the NBA than Illinois did, and we still gave 'em a damn good run for the money.

all right. i have been on this computer all day with not a THING to show for it except for random comments on other people's blogs, and dammit, i have had enough of me! i will post this thing! and people will love it and add comments! yes they will. because you are my minions, and you obey. obey! hopefully next week i'll post more than twice, and satiate your hunger for all things doomy. telute.

i'm proud of my dark side.

2005-12-14T22:54:00.000-08:00

HOLY CRAP, I MISSED MY ANNIVERSARY!

minions, can you believe it? just right about when i lost internet and my posting went down to being rather infrequent, Tiny Little Rants of Doom turned one year old! only a year i’ve been doing this shit! and yet… it seems like sooo much longer that that. i feel so close to you all… all of you who have stumbled, by some act of synchronicity or fate, upon my little blog of doom over the past year. i know we are all connected... i feel we are all of the same mind… yes… oh, wait. that’s because of all the mind rays that i’ve been using to brainwash you all with. that’s why we all think alike. i knew it was something.

i meant to post something yesterday, but my computer was being sluggish in Blogger-land for some reason. bah. anyway, i've been in the mood to write, but when i actually kind of sit down to actually write a blog entry, i've been coming up blank. i think i'm trying to rush it. i think maybe if i just kind of sit down and try not to write about anything specific that i'll have an easier time. bah, again. fart.

i am so easily distracted. i just got myself a bunny! have a look in my sidebar and say hi to my bunny. feed him a carrot. do it! he is your master!

since i can't focus on anything tonight, i might as well make this post as random as i possibly can. therefore... a quiz!

The Evil Princess

You are drawn to the sinister side of life and
gravitate towards darker things. You are quite
proud of your dark side and often flaunt it.
Your sinister nature and your willingness to be
cutthroat often result in you playing the
villainess.

Role Model: Snow White's Stepmother

You are most likely to: Team up with an evil dragon
to spread terror across the countryside.

What Kind of Princess are You? - Beautiful Artwork (Original Music is BACK!!!)
brought to you by Quizilla

not really suprising, that. except i'd hardly call Snow White's stepmother a role model. i mean; how useless was she? friggin' amateur. she got CAUGHT. and what the fuck was up with that apple? i mean... a poison apple? you don't poison your enemies in the middle of the woods where no one's watching. that is when you whip out your freakin' KNIFE and STAB the bitch! god, am i the ONLY evil overlady with any common sense on this planet? geez!

hum. yes. i just got distracted by an AIM conversation. and also by a Peter Murphy video. Peter Murphy is so freakin' hot. anyway. now it's my bedtime. we might be getting an ice storm tomorrow and i won't have to go to work until later. let's hope that happens 'cause i would really like to sleep in. though i don't really want ice. i want snow. i don't live in Florida. i want SNOW! you bastards. snow. please?

man, i'm tired. i gotta go bed. sleep tight, my minions. may Murphy watch over your dreams.

while i was out... (length warning!)

2005-12-10T16:54:00.000-08:00

i posted what's below earlier this evening (well, now it's after midnight, so really yesterday) before i even knew that Richard Pryor passed away this morning at the age of 65. i had to update really quick and just get a little moment of silence in before this story takes off. i've always been a big fan of Richard Pryor and i'm sad to see him go so soon. so you honkies have a little moment of silence before you start to enjoy my crazy cracker-ass rantings.

okay. now the post starts.

yes. so. well. i have been gone. this was not my fault. generally, i like to warn you minions when i’m taking a blogger break, but this time it was out of my control. as i explained in my hastily-written-post-from-a-friend’s-house, my DSL got cut off. upon examination of our phone bill, we determined that we were getting ripped off, and so we decided to get rid of the DSL altogether. buh-bye. this, of course, necessitated our, eventually, getting cable internet back. we had to wait a while to be able to afford that. but now we can afford it... finally! oh, yes. moo-hoo-hoo-ha-haaaaa. that is my evil laugh of joy. i am in the happy place right now!

while i was gone, i still wrote down a whole lot of stuff, in hopes of posting it someday. today, it begins. here come ‘da big epic tale! yes, this is a length warning. but you missed me so much you don’t mind reading a long entry at all, do you? of course you don’t.

the same day our internet got cut off, we got a note on our car saying that it was going to be towed from the parking lot of our apartment complex. why? because, apparently, the tags on our license plate were out, and our inspection was out. well first of all, our inspection wasn’t out. okay, our tags were, but only by a couple months. not the end of the world, here, people. second of all, the note on our car, which we got on a Friday afternoon, said we had to fix the problem by the next morning. uh… hello? DMV closes at five P.M. on Friday and doesn’t open again until eight A.M. on Monday? little bit of a short notice, there, champ. so we decided, okay, we’ll just park our car at a friend’s house until we can get all this shit fixed. we had to pay taxes on the car, and we had to pay a penalty on our tags because our insurance lapsed, and we couldn’t afford to do this all right away. hell, we could barely afford to pay the rent! so, one day, we were planning to run some errands, sell some stuff, see if we couldn’t get some money together to fix our situation a little. right? we go to get the car, which we don’t like driving, but we had to take the risk to get our stuff fixed. then we realize we left some important things at the apartment. so we drive back there and go inside, get our shit together, it takes maybe an hour because we decided to eat real quick. we go back outside… and you guessed it. our fucking car was gone. gone. they must have been waiting for us. i’ll give ‘em credit… they were quick about it. but they left us no notice, no warning aside from that one little note. they didn’t tell us when they took the car. my first thought, especially in the neighborhood that we live in, was “oh my god, our car got stolen.” we had no idea where it was towed to or anything. and i’m sorry, but that’s fucked up. so we went to the rental office to raise holy hell.

now we checked our lease to see if they could legally get away with towing us in the first place. unfortunately, yes, they could. there was a part of the lease that said any car with expired tags or inspection would be towed, as well as any car with flat tires, unsightly rust stains, smashed windows, or engines hanging out…you know, junkers. i understand why that’s there to a certain degree… they don’t want people leaving their piece of shit cars all over the parking lot. but when you’re driving a perfectly nice, practically new car like we are… or rather, not driving, because our insurance was lapsed and our tags were out… what’s it to ya if we park it there for a little bit while we get our shit in order? we’re paying rent here. part of that rent is for a damn parking space, is it not? i think it is, you fucks.

anyway. they tell us at the rental office, after about two hours of being bumped back and forth between peons, that “we were given ample warning” (yeah, one day before the weekend, really ample) and not only that, but they had tagged our car over a month ago and left us a warning then, too. oh, really? we never got this warning. you mean the other people who got towed got over a month’s warning… which would have really helped us out, by the way… and we get ONE FUCKING DAY? not only that, but there was a piece of shit car with four flat tires that has not been moved for nearly a year sitting in a parking place right outside our building that was SCREAMING to be towed, but did they tow that piece of shit? no, they didn’t. did they tow the other car with the smashed-in back windows and the expired tags? no, they didn’t. they towed the nice, well-maintained, good-looking car because they knew that they’d get something from it. they knew anyone with a car like ours had to have some way to get the money together to get the car out of tow (regardless of the glaring fact that if we HAD money, we’d have our fucking tags fixed… idiots!) so they towed it to a place that was halfway across fucking Durham (which is the next town over… it was nearly a 45-minute drive to get to the fucking place) in the middle of the afternoon so they could charge us $85 a day because they knew there was no way we would make it out there before they closed at five P.M. fucks. evil fucks. you think i’m evil? ha. even my patented brand of black-heartedness cannot compare to that of my rental company and the heartless pricks they hired to tow my damn car. oh, and by the by, those other two cars i mentioned did eventually get towed. four months later.

so. then came the flood. not really a real flood. but we noticed, when we were rearranging things in our spare room, that there was a mysterious wet spot on the carpet. our first reaction was of course to sniff it, because we did just get a new kitten. and sometimes the dog gets pissed at us because she’s a little princess and needs her attention. but there was no bad smell. further inspection with a paper towel proved that it was, indeed, just water. and there wasn’t just one spot, either. no. there were several wet spots all over the carpet, leading to… the closet. oh dear. see, we’d had some problems with that closet before. there had been some sort of leak that had mildewed a corner of the wall and gotten the carpet wet. they had supposedly “fixed” the problem, but all they really did was caulk up the hole in the wall and suck up the water. it had never occurred to them that there might be something actually causing the leak in the first place. so, the leak was back, apparently, and worse than ever. we found out that both our bedroom closets had wet floors and mildewed walls. shoes and linens were ruined. pookie and I are extremely unhappy. we called maintenance, but they’re out and we leave a message. they never show up. i have to go up to the office the next day and make someone come back with me to look at the mess. by this time, half our spare room is a fucking swamp. the water sucking guy comes in again, but the next day it’s just gotten worse.

the maintenance guys think that probably what’s happening is that the air conditioning (we have central air and the unit is in the wall between the two closets) has a crack in the pipe and is leaking. all right. so he comes in the next day and takes out some of the closet wall, and then finds out… oh, there’s no crack in the pipe! well, he says to us, what’s happening is that the drain is blocked on the outside and the water’s coming back in. he’ll clear that out in a jiffy, and then send guys in to fix the wall. the water-sucky guy comes in and sucks the water up again, and it’s all fixed now, right? WRONG! they didn’t come to fix the wall for two days. then, after that time, we had the pleasure of informing him that the water was still coming up and it is as wet as ever. so instead of fixing the wall, he tears out more wall to look for another possible leak. and then he tells us, apparently, that our AC has only 30% freon in it, and what’s been happening is that ice and condensation has been building up in it, and then whenever we cut the air off, it would all melt. so since we’d been cutting the AC on and off quite a bit during the summer months-- NC weather… crazy! (say that like Christopher Walken)-- that’s what’s been happening. it seems a bit contrived to us, but we're like… oh-kay, if you say so. so mr. maintenance guy puts some more freon in the AC unit and the water-sucky-sucky guy comes AGAIN and sucky all the water up AGAIN, it should be okay now, right? right?

ha ha ha ha, i know you know the answer to THAT question.

not only is water STILL coming up (albeit as not as quickly as before,) but now the AC isn’t blowing out cold air at all! plus it keeps making this lovely noise that sounds a lot like a fleet of jets with chainsaw attachments landing on our roof. the walls are shaking with the rattling of this AC. we find out later that this particular maintenance guy isn’t really qualified to fix a central air AC unit. apparently he shotgunned the freon in there and overfilled it. so now he’s fucked our AC! yay! the summer’s just begun!!! not only that, but a summer with record temperatures! what amazing timing! so when we come up and complain… again… the guy says that he’s going to have to order us a new AC unit. oh, loverly…. how long’s that going to take?

longer than you think. you see, when three or four days have gone by and not a word, and the maintenance here being just about a hair above that of a slum lord’s, we tend to think they forgot about us. we go up to the office to remind them. forcibly. and what do we find? a brand-new manager! a brand-new head of maintenance! neither of which know anything about the problems we’ve been having!!! fucking delightful! we really weren’t too surprised though… in the year and a half since we’ve started living here, there’s been a new person in charge every three months or so. just when you get used to one of them… and believe me, you come to know all of them by name because you are up there a LOT complaining about something… a new one comes along! so after explaining our dilemma to the new manager, who seems to have her shit together, we get promised a rent reduction and competent help. eh. we remain optimistic.

amazingly enough, we did get two hundred dollars taken off our rent for that month o' hell. the new head of maintenance actually knew what he was doing and spent an entire day replacing our AC unit, which was ancient and needed replacing (because the idiot before him killed it but good) and also wasn't installed right in the first place! the leak had been caused by the pipe that actually drained the AC unit from the apartment upstairs. which was, for some unknown reason, actually going through one of the support beams. nice. talk about yer intelligent design. at least everything got fixed, except for the hole in the wall.

yes, the hole in the closet wall remained there for well over five months. they finally came to fix it after we called about it fifty million times. fifty million times. yeah. that's all it took. and the only reason they paid attention to us the fifty millionth time is because the winter set in and.... oh, guess what?!?! the HEAT isn't working now! jeeezus. luckily they actually got that fixed this time, and we didn't have to go a month without it.

so ends this particular tale. but more shall come, of insane people who want balloons and beads, and also fluffy little doggies and kittens, and new roommates, and oh so many things. i am so happy to be back. i’ve really missed having internet in my house. in! my own! house! i thought I was a-gonna die without it. yep. that’s what i was thinking. but i did not die, and you were not deprived of your evil overlady. no no no indeedy. i am too evil to ever truly be dead. thanks everyone for your loyalty and kind words while i was gone. i know it’s because you all were scared of me. you knew i’d be back. moo-hoo. moo-hoo-hoo. moo-hoo-ha-ha-haaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and just a quiz, before i go, so you don't think i'm staring to change or anything...

Remus Lupin
You are looking for someone sweet, intelligent, and
understanding. Although he may have big
troubles to overcome, with you by his side this
wolfman will at least have a non-judgmental,
loving romance.

Who is your Harry Potter love match? (for girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

yeah! though i thought the actor that played him in the film is very good, he doesn't look the way i imagine him. it's funny, i read these books and have an imagination of certain characters as dark-haired and gaunt and develop fictional crushes on them, and then the movie gets made and they're these kinds of average-looking, slightly dumpy redheads. that's happened so far with two characters, Faramir in LOTR and Lupin. interesting.

all right, that's enough. i'm out. telute, minions.

i am EVIL!

2005-12-08T01:00:00.000-08:00

you doubt this? you doubt my evilness? i think you do. i don't think you're aware of how horribly i can torment you with the evil that is me. well. i'll show you.

that's right... it's another quizzie survey thing! oh, don't deny it, you know you love it. how many of these can i POSSIBLY inflict upon you? oh, quite a few, i'd imagine. don't blame me completely, i got it from Heather. of course it was ages ago. so maybe it's my fault after all. mmm. i am so evil. i love me for that.

1. What song is stuck in your head right now? "My Brave Face" by Paul McCartney. dude, i freakin' LOVE that song. they just played the video on VH1 classics. i heart cable. oh shit, they're playing another Paul video! oh shit, i'm in heaven!

2. If you were being taken to a desert island and could only take 5 cds, which ones would you pick? ooooh... well... this is not a fair question, but i will do my best. sigh.

The Cure - Disintegration
Depeche Mode - Violator
The Smiths - Louder Than Bombs
R.E.M. - Life's Rich Pageant
Interpol - Turn On The Bright Lights

3. What was the first book you remember reading? Where The Wild Things Are, by Maurice Sendak. Being read? hum... i remember The Hobbit most vividly.

4. What is your favorite book of all time? now is that really a fair question? no, none of these questions are fair. but. i'm sure you know the answer. The Lord Of The Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. and in case you start saying "but Sid! that's THREE books!" i will correct you. it only became a trilogy because the publishers needed to break it up into three volumes; it was too long to print legibly at the time. so, they convinced Tolkien to release it as a trilogy. so ha. there.

5. Which movie has left the most lasting impression on you? hurm. of all time, i would have to say The Dark Crystal. i saw it for the first time at a really young age, and the imagery in the film really made a very strong impression on me. later, of course, i find out that Brian Froud, one of my most favorite artists of all time, did the concept art for the film. how about that, huh?

6. Which book have you read most frequently? heh. The Lord of the Rings. how many times have i read it? i've lost count. generally i read it at least once a year. of course i've started doing the same with the Harry Potter Books, so it's really amazing that i every read anything new.

7. Which movie have you watched the most? it's probably a three-way tie between Donnie Darko, Harold and Maude, and The Dark Crystal. oh, and Heathers.

8. What books are on your bedside table at the moment? um. The Simarillion, by J.R.R. Tolkien, The Golden Globe by John Varley (though i'm almost done with it), Creative Bead Weaving by Carol Wilcox Wells, and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by my friend and yours, J.K. Rowling. mostly because after seeing the movie, i wanted to remind myself that, oh yeah, i DID like the story.

9. What CD's are in your CD player right now? just one, which is my finely crafted VAMPIRE MIX!!! wheee! you want to know what's on it? oh, yes, i'm going to tell you. ha ha ha!

Dead Can Dance - Emmelia
Bauhaus - Bela Legosi's dead (of course...)
Joy Division - Lost Souls
Placebo - Sleeping With Ghosts
Annie Lennox - Love Song for a Vampire
The Tea Party - Angels
Gerard McMann - Cry, Little Sister
Depeche Mode - Sister Of Night
The Cure - Siamese Twins
Siouxsie & The Banshees - Trust In Me
Bloc Party - Plans
Pixies - I Bleed
The Arcade Fire - Laika
The Faint - Posed To Death
Marylin Manson - The Beautiful People
Cursive - The Recluse
The Smiths - Stretch Out And Wait
Delibes - Viens, Malika (Flower Duet from Lakme)

i know you don't care. but i do. moo-hoo-ha-ha-haaaa.

10. What fictional character (movie, TV show, cartoon, book) do you have a crush on? um... geez, where to begin? Morpheus, from the comic Sandman (not the fuckin' Matrix), Faramir from LOTR (the book--the actor who played him in the movie looks NOTHING like i imagined, just so you know), Woody from the comic book ZOT! (ugly duckling type... hee), Edward Scissorhands, Jack Skellington, Bill Weasley, Remus Lupin, aaand... Will from The Dark Is Rising series... which does not make me a pedophile just because he was eleven in the books... i was eleven when i READ the books!

11. Favorite line from a movie? "Chaos is fucking great! Chaos killed the dinosaurs, darlin'!" -J.D. (Christian Slater) in Heathers.

all right. i apologize for that. i know i've been gone for a long time, and when i come back, what is here? a silly quiz thingie! where are the rants?!?! where is the DOOM? i know. you hunger for it. i understand. and i do have the rants for you. and i do have the doom. i do. it's just late and i have a day job. i have two day jobs. and for some reason Blogger is lagging when i type. so i used this old post i started and updated it and you're just going to have to DEAL with the fact that i have a LIFE!

but i do love you my minions. i really do. you will all get haikus and kisses from me. i promise.

the fuck have i been?!?

2005-12-07T15:39:00.000-08:00

so i've been gone, and obviously there have been some changes. i have some serious fixin' uppin' to do with my blog here. like i don't even know who's still around or anything. i hope you all is still around. i'm going to be a while updating. it's probably going to be my main task tonight. sigh. an evil overlady's work is never done.

ah, well. what have i been up to? it would take days, my minions, days to explain. actually probably more than days. i will talk about it in installments. so! first installment! ahem. some of you have asked for more work stories. okay, i will try.

you think balloons are fun, huh? you think to yourself: "oh, sid has a job at a balloon store. how much fun is that? that's gotta be the big fun!" yeah. fun. right. let me ask you something. you people ever plan a party before? i make about twenty parties a day happen. you ever DEAL with someone who's planning a party? oh, even better. i mean GREAT. you listen to an old lady babble for about fifteen minutes straight about how she's like to have multi-colored balloons but there can't be any orange in there because she just can't STAND the color orange and there can't be any pink because it's a party for a boy and boy's just don't like pink oh and do these napkins match do you think because it's got to be really festive and do you think that lime green goes well with that shade of red? and you have to smile and nod and then tell them what they really want because they really have no clue.

oh, and then the EVENTS. yeah. tell me something. why do all Jewish kids come of age on Saturdays? huh? we do a lot of bar and bat mitzvahs. we do a lot for the college, too. and generally with big events, you're talking about blowing up over a hundred balloons per event. so, you know, balloons aren't as much fun as you think they are. it's still better than burritos and i don't go home smelling funny. so there.

as for the bead store job, it totally rocks. everyone i work with is awesome, the job is awesome, and i can deal with the spaztic mothers who come in with seven screaming children a little more serenley than i used to. and i can even smile and nod kindly when little old ladies who don't speak very good english come in with one bead and say "do yew haff ozzer beadz like ziz becoz i vish to make a nechlazz wiz zeze." because, damn, i really do get a sweet discount. and i get to make things there, too! wheee-heee-heee!

you know, i will share more work stories. i really will. but i don't feel like writing about work or anything really right now. i must rediscover the joy of the internets! yeah!

prepare for my invasion to begin. i will destroy you all with my mind. boo!

countdown...

2005-12-04T13:14:00.000-08:00

after more setbacks than i can possibly begin to mention here, i will be returning. soon. and this time i really mean soon. like, seriously, next week. i've made promises. and i've broken these promises. because i am evil. yes. but now i mean it. i really do.

i'm kinda at work right now and shoudln't be doing this. but your impassioned pleas for my return, all five of 'em (hee) have not fallen on deaf ears. i feel you should know that i will return.

and it's gonna be good. hot diggity!

now i'm gonna go make some earrings or something. yup.

ballooooooooons!

2005-09-12T18:51:00.000-07:00

hello, minions. i live, and i have other jobs. i'm stealing a moment on someone else's computer because, yet again, my plans for obtaining internet access have been pushed to the back burner. bah. but, good news. as my monkey friend said in the last comment thread, i have two jobs now. i'm back at the bead store i used to work at part time, and i'm full time at... a balloon store! yes! so now you will get balloon stories instead of burrito stories. soon.

thank you all for your sweet comments and good thoughts. i am not gone. i shall return. really really soon. i promise.

i have to check my e-mail now. you minions be good. and by good i mean EVIL! wheeeeee!

ten for everything, everything, everything, EVERYTHING!

2005-07-16T23:08:00.000-07:00

hi, minions. i am using the internets at my friends house. but my mood is not well. i am low. quite low.

well. i lost my job today. not because of the blog. maybe even because i haven't been blogging. my frustration has no outlet now. i was tired of my job. i knew that i needed to do something else. but... i still feel shitty about it. i don't know. i don't feel like blogging about it, really, or trying to explain why i lost my job. i know why, but i can't articulate it. all i can tell you is that it wasn't because of any one thing that i did, that i know of. i guess i didn't fit in anymore. fuck.

it's not the end of burrito rants. it's not the end of this blog. not in the least. i'm sure, whatever new job i get (if i can fucking get one) i will rant about it too. and i have a backlog of burrito/restaurant rants. don't you worry.

i'm still a little in shock over this. i know it's going to be okay, though. i've decided to view it as a mixed blessing. i was let go easy, even though really the reason to me seems rather vauge. i have good references, i have time to find a new job, i still have a little bit of money coming in with my jewelry sales, and, most important of all, i have love and support from my family and my pookie and my friends. that will make all the difference.

i won't lie and say i'm happy about it. but i won't overexaggerate and say that i'm devastated, either. you know, the more you get dumped, the easier it is to deal with it. sorry to dump this big jug of whine on y'all's heads, but... well, that's what a blog is for, yes? yes.

more later, updates and updates. i leave you with... a quiz! in fact... one of the most eerily accurate and yet totally retarded quizzes i've ever taken! enjoy!

You need understanding.
In your life there has been many people that
could never seem too comprehend your
personality. Now you have either become an
out-cast because of their narrow minds or you
have adjusted yourself to them, and never
letting them see who you are deep inside. You
now think that no one will ever understand you
and you hate that fact. Though you are scared
of what the effects might be if you would
decide to let someone in so you keep a safe
distance that you both curse and bless.

What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics]
brought to you by Quizilla

dark pics... bwah-ha-ha-haaa. i am such a dark pic.

see yez soon, minions.

quickie pre-prepared post of DOOM.

2005-06-29T20:28:00.000-07:00

because that's what we specialize in here. DOOM, and lots of it, all in capital letters. this is a quiz i stole from Mrs. Monkey and her monkeyness. it's quick, it's easy, and it's fun (just like her... kidding, Mel, kidding!) enjoy, and use for your own.

A TO Z!
A - Age you lost your virginity? 19... chut up! chut up!

B - Band listening to right now? Bloc Party!

C - Dream car? a black and red custom VW bug and/or the hearse/Jaguar combo that Harold drove in the movie Harold and Maude.

D - Dad's name? Alan. i'm not sure if he actually spells it like that.

E - Easiest person to make me laugh? generally Bill Hicks. or Conan O'Brien. depending on my mood. my pookie's pretty good at making me laugh, too.

F - Food you miss most? Krispy Kreme doughnuts at three in the morning.

G - Any encounters with ghosts? yeah... the most recent one was a EVP recording we got in our apartment... it was a young girl or a child saying "don't" twice. fucking hairs rising in places i didn't even know i had hair when i heard that.

H - Person most hated at the moment? this woman that came into the burrito hut the other day and took FIFTEEN MINUTES to decide what she wanted. what the fuck, lady?!?!? i got a LIFE, you know! jeeeezus! it took me less time to make her freakin' food than it took for her to freakin' order it!!!

I - Interesting unknown fact about yourself? not really. i only seem mysterious because i'm quiet, and i'm only quiet because i've got nothing to say. oh, hey, did you know THAT?

J - The first letter of the last person who broke your heart? "J". oh, that's fucking wierd.

L - Last time you did LSD? never, but i did mushrooms about a year ago, i think. maybe more than a year ago. i don't know. drugs are bad, anyway. i've done with them. plus i can't afford any.

M - Most memorable moment you can think of in a minute? man, the thing is with a question like that you can't think of anything memorable. at least not in a minute. plus my real life is pretty boring, so...

N - Nicknames? el sid, sid, pookie bunny darling, crap like that.

O - What's the most valued possession? the most, or just my most? my pookie is my most valued possession, though really i don't own him. aside from that, probably my bead collection and/or my CD collection. i heart beads and music.

P - Poison of choice? cigarettes, coffee, and whiskey. not nessecarily in that order.

Q - The last quote you heard: "it's a nessecary evil."

R - What are you allergic to? raw red onions and seafood never fail to make me sick.

S - Song you sang last? "Like Eating Glass" by Bloc Party. you want the lyrics? of course you do.

It's so cold in this house
Open mouth swallowing us
The children staying home from school
Will not stop crying

And I know that you're busy too
I know that you care
You got your finger on the pulse
You got your eyes everywhere
And it hurts all the time when you don't return my calls
And you haven't got the time to remember how it was
It's so cold in this house
It's so cold in this house

I can't eat, I can't sleep
I can't sleep, I can't dream
An aversion to light
Got a fear of the ocean

Like drinking poison, like eating glass

It's so cold in this house
Come and show me how it was

We've got crosses on our eyes
Been walking into the walls again
We've got crosses on our eyes
Been walking into the furniture
We've got crosses on our eyes
For richer, for poorer, for better, for worse
We've got crosses on our eyes
We've been walking into the furniture

T - Time you woke up? noon. hah, i know you hate me.

U - Fav. pair of underwear? a white cotton pair that says "Sassy Pants" on it in rainbow sparkly letters.

V - Vegetable you hate most? collard greens. they smell like animal sick!

W - What are you the most afraid of? i fear nothing. except maybe getting my hands eaten by crocodiles. and monkey attacks. i don't want my eyeballs ripped out by monkeys.

X - X-rated love life? heh. ha ha. hee. what the fuck kind of question is that? who has a love life that isn't X-rated? i mean, hello, people who have love lives see each other's privates, and you can't see that on TV. well, you can, but only if you pay for it.

Y - Year you were born? 1975

Z - Zodiac sign? Aries sun, Cancer moon, Taurus rising. oh, but i am on a cusp date, so really i'm an Aries with Pisces tendencies. how the hell about me, eh? eh.

all right. and that was your little tiny quickie pre-prepared post of DOOM. i am sorry that i have no burrito rants yet, but i'm working on a doozie of a post. next week, maybe i get something up. but i will be back online too, with a nice big bunch of posties every single day like i used to! wheeee! yes! and when i have returned, you shall know me by the trail of haiku...

don' t know what color your eyes are, baby...

2005-06-18T20:13:00.000-07:00

Which Member of the Endless Are You?

no suprises there. really, everyone knows it.

because i will KILL you.

jokes. i kid with you. and now it is time for the real post. the real! post! wheee!

ha ha ha ha ha! i am EVIL!!!

Which Family Guy character are you?

oh, come on, this is me you're talking to, here. all right. this time i will really post something. most of my time online today has been sucked up by other things, because i am easily distracted by shiny objects and e-mails. but now! i am writing. here i go. writing.

all right, where to begin? so many things have happened. first of all, i must make a confession to you, my minions. i have a new man in my life. he's got such soft black hair, and huge gorgeous green eyes, and he's so cuddly and sweet... sigh. i'm in love. "GASP!" you might be saying to yourselves. "but what about Pookie?" what about him? he likes the new kitten, too.

ha ha ha i fooled you all! you thought i had a new boyfriend. hee hee ha! oh, i am so funny i don't know how i can take it. yes, i have a new kitten and his name is M, and he's only a couple months old so you can hold him in just one hand if you want. he is the cutest kitty ever. i loooove him. what does the M stand for? whatever you'd like it to. he's just a little M. someday he'll be a capital M. i love cats so much. i missed having one. M and Pixie are getting along just fine, too. there was initially a little jealousy on Miss Pixie's part, because she's been Momma's big fluffy baby for nine years and she's not used to sharing. but now they get along just fine. M's too little to play with yet, and Pixie's smart enough to realize that and so she doesn't torment him too much. right now the only game they can really play safely is Chase. and a little bit of Hide And Go Seek. man, they are soooo CUTE! i am going to die of a cute poisoning. heh.

well, other things are happening. but as they are not all that great, i will not dwell on them for the moment. after all, i have to do a lot of blogging while i can this weekend. i do have to take this moment to very sincerely thank mr. and mrs. monkey for letting us use their computer so much this weekend. they are very dear friends. i also have to thank Feeding The Fire's MySpace profile for providing two of the quizzes that i have used in today's post.

in other news, i just got the hiccups. i have this irrational fear that manifests itself every time i get the hiccups. it is that i will be like this guy that i read about who had the hiccups for nearly forty years. i don't like having the hiccups. i always burp a lot when i get the hiccups, and it is not very lady-like to burp. no indeed.

well, i hate to go without giving you something that i know you want. so... here's another quiz! ha ha! hee hee! hoo hoo! wheeee... this one comes courtesy of The Wench (i will update your link on my sidebar very soon, i promise) and proved to me that, yes, i am too stupid to have children. ha. actually i got half of them right, but they are sneaky! be warned!

There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself? Think about it first before reading the answer...

He just has to open his mouth and ask. If you got that wrong please - do not pass go, do not breed, just go dig a hole and hide. Below are four questions. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time; answer all of them immediately! Let's find out just how clever you really are. Ready?

First Question:You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second! Try not to screw up the next one. To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.

Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?! You're not very good at this are you?

Third Question: Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

Did you get 5000? Very good! You are "officially" STUPID now! The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today's just not your day. Maybe you'll get the last question right.

Fourth Question: Mary's father has five daughters:
1. Nana
2. Nene
3. Nini
4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?

NO! Of course not! Her name is MARY. Read the question again! Is your answer Nunu?

So... How'd ya do? Should we keep you in the gene pool?

well, obviously, you know i didn't score very high on the math question. and yes, i totally got the first one wrong, too. this much is obvious to me now. drugs are bad for you. good thing i'm not planning to breed.

heh. all right. this post is officially nice and long now. tomorrow i might just be coming around to make sure that you've all been behaving yourselves. so. you be good, my minions. and by good i mean evil. and by evil i mean EVILE! yes! mmm... the salty-sweet taste of evil. yum.

eat up!

for honor, and glory, and crap like that.

2005-06-17T22:38:00.000-07:00

i am gonna probably write a full post tomorrow. i'm housesitting for some friends so i gots the internet this weekend! wheee-hee-hee! until then, i appease your hunger for quizzes so:

Honor: You are an honorable person who is firm with
his/her beliefs and treats others as you are
treated. People would consider you humble at
times and very respectful, and someone to
definitely respect back.

Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla

i loves yew guyyys.

2005-05-29T19:53:00.000-07:00

right now i'm using my friend's laptop, sitting in their living room, about to watch a gay porno. "Barely Legal" gay porn, no less in a room full of girls and straight guys. yep, we've had a very fun Memorial Day weekend. yes indeedy.

so since i'm not on my own computer and i really don't have a whole post planned out, i decided that this post will be dedicated to replying to you, my minions, and the sweet, sweet comments you left for me on my last hurried post. you guys is great. i loves ya.

V- i hope i return soon too. thanks.

Natalie- why aren't you in here watching this gay porno with me?

Micki- thanks! i'm glad you started reading, even though i haven't really been posting much over the past month. and cinnamon and sugar is very very good on the flour chips.

Cootera- i'm not sure where i am, either.

DH- i am a terrible tease, aren't i? it's all part of my evil charm.

Angel- you figured it out. Defiant, Vader, and i are all the same person. we are actually a fat albino skitzophrenic recluse living in a basement with ten different computers. heh. but i'm still the most evil of all ten personalites.

Se7en- yeah, you dance with joy now, but wait a couple weeks. you will be sad again. bah. i hate not having internet.

Derek- well, you don't have to eat them.

Thomas- i'm glad that you liked
that particular haiku
but i thought it sucked.

Yankee Bob- aww, you missed me. you so sweet. i will be back quizzing you soon.

Varla- i know. i kinda was thinking i was dead, too.

Monkey- thanks for defending the flour chips. why aren't you in here watching gay porn with us? huh?

Heather- i don't know. i was rather suprised that mine was gray, but i have been bloody cynical recently. bah.

E-Lo- what do you mean, "come back to the dark side"? i've been here already, drinking whiskey and smoking joints and saying very rude things to passers-by. did you see the new Star Wars movie? that totally kicked ass. it was so worth the wait.

Sean- congrats to you and Tragic! wheee-heee-hee! getting all married and stuff. look at you!

all right, i know i didn't cover everything and everyone, but i have limited time. thanks to everyone for staying loyal. i'll be here when i can, and i hope i'll have internet back soon.

no escaping gravity

2005-05-21T20:04:00.000-07:00

sorry minions. it looks like my return to internet will take longer than expected. life... well, it ain't easy. i'm not going to go into details because... fart. it takes too long. so very quickly i will give you a bit of what it is you have been missing from me.

first--funny burrito story:

we have a menu item that is rather unique: we cut flour tortillas up and sell them as chips. so you can get a basket of entirely flour chips instead of corn ones. today, a lady looks at the menu and orders what sounds like "a basket of all flour chips." she pronounced "flour" like "four". i didn't think much of it because she had a heavy New England accent and i knew what she meant. then, when i serve her the chips...

her: "is this all four?"
me: "huh?"
her: "is this all four kinds of chips?"
me: "it's all flour chips."
her: (getting impatient with me) "no, your menu says 'four chip salsa' right up there"
me: (understanding) "oh, no, it's all FLOUR chips."
her: "no it... oh, i see it. oh. never mind. sorry."

heh. that amuses you. so, what else is needed? i must appease you, my drooly minions, or there will be drool all over the floor. and that is just messy. no one likes a mess. so... how's about a haiku? eh?

i just tried to think
of a really great haiku
but my mind is blank.

right, what else? oh, yes, the evile doom. where could it be? don't you see my minions? it is in your hearts. sure, i rule over you all with an iron fist, but you all know that it is an iron fist in a velvet glove. you know i love you all. and i would not willingly abandon you. it is the world that i must live in that keeps us all apart. sigh. but remember that you are all in my little black heart, and you all hold a very special place there. and remember that i am also in your hearts, and am working to corrupt them to my will, every day. i am there, and i will not go. moo-hoo-ha-ha-haaa! i will never leave. even if i have to post infrequently with someone else's computer. i will not abandon my evil empire. nope. not me. boo.

oh... wait... something else is missing...

right.

Your Heart is Grey

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

well well weellll.... not black like i'd hoped. bah.

you be good. and i'll be what i am. heh.

see you soon minions. telute.

I LIVE!!! KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!!

2005-04-03T14:14:00.000-07:00

yes, i am alive. don't start sounding the death knoll yet, or trudging sorowfully through the streets all robed in black. sorry about the lack of notice, and, for some, the lack o' questions. my internet got cut off; actually i had to cut it off because of some bad things what happened, all of which will be chronicled in my next post. i'm over at a friend's house right now so i don't want to hog his computer all up.

and might i just say... GO HEELS!!!! Carolina's soooooo close to winning the national title. only filthy Illinois stands in our way. they will not stand in our way for long. moo-hoo-hoo-ha-haaaa.

i will be back in hopefully a week or so. i miss you guys. i'm glad you miss me. thanks for all the comments and well-wishin's for my birthday and all that. it warmed the cockles of my black little heart. hee. i said "cockles".

i will be back with questions and quizzes and rants and burrito tales and aaaallll the lovely things you so greatly desire. yes. and a new song. i know this one is good, but maybe you a little sick of it now.

until then, remember who loves you with the most evil love of all. that's right. it's me.

i decided to add a quiz, just to make your lives meaningful.

You Are Sam From "Benny & Joon."

You are very talented at physical comedy. People are in awe of your abilities. However, you have many quirks which can either win people over or completely annoy them. But you're a sweetheart through and through, and it's hard not to love you.

Take The Johnny Depp Quiz!

and mine. johnny depp... rrrrr.

distractadiddliy-doo!

2005-03-22T13:00:00.000-08:00

i know i promised to have more questions up today, but i haven't had time to sit down and come up with any good ones. in fact, i've barely had any time in front of this dang computer at all, and when i do, i fritter it away 'cause i'm sooooo distractable. i don't even know if "distractible" is a word at all, but it is now, 'cause i am it. tomorrow's my day off, so i should be havin' a bit more time to finish this up. in the meantime... here is a quiz for yoooou!

Dust off your flugelhorn and heat up the sausages, 'cause you're The Swiss!
Decked in neutrality for almost a billion years now, the Swiss are always the favourites to survive any nuclear conflict. Not only do they have the most amazing dress sense, but they've also got keen technical knowhow, a very logical cultural heritage and seventeen extra feet which they keep in their heads. The Swiss are stereotypically associated with cuckoo clocks, chocolate, fondue and yodelling; it should be pointed out that they also enjoy running through the hills, goat farming and keeping the Earth safe from alien scum.

Which Survivor of the Impending Nuclear Apocalypse Are You?
A Rum and Monkey joint.

you enjoy, my minions. don't ever say i don't ever give you nothing. because i do. all my evil love. it is for you. have some cheese. swiss cheese!

gimmee 'da cakes!

2005-03-21T11:03:00.000-08:00

well, today is the day. as of eight this morning, i am no longer to be trusted.

i don't feel any different. i didn't expect to.

i will write more tomorrow. because today is my day. and also i haven't thought of enough questions or burrito stories.

until then, i will demand chocolate! chocolate cakes! gimmee!

you asked for it...

2005-03-17T17:12:00.000-08:00

first of all, in case you ever wondered if i was a total dork...

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

yes. yes, i am. this was actually a great quiz. lots of Princess Bride references in it. thanks, Thomas. and what was even better than the quiz was the disclaimer afterwards...

This survey is completely scientific. Despite the mind-boggling complexity of mankind, the billions of distinctly different personalities found on Earth can easily be divided into seven simple categories that correspond to the five Platonic solids, a pseudo polyhedron, and whatever the hell a d100 is. The results of this quiz should be considered not only meaningful but also infallible, and pertinent to your success as a fully realized individual. If you feel the results of this examination do not match your perceived personality, you should take whatever drastic measures are needed to cram your superego back into proper alignment, as described by the quiz results.

And if you believe that, we have some really great critical-hit insurance to sell you.

well, as you know, i had that little interviewy thing. yes. and you responded. oh, how you responded. according to the rules, i can only do the first five people who ask me. but you know what? RULES ARE FOR FOOLS!! moo-hoo-ha-ha-haaaa! so what i've decided to do is break this up into two posts because i can't think of questions for EVERYBODY right away. so, i will go in order. five of you first, and then five more later. yes! it is so fun to break the rules! and now here be questions! in honor of St. Patrick's Day, and also to avoid virtual pinches, they will all be in different shades of green.

these questions are for AJ...

1. Who is your favorite cartoon character of all time?
2. If you could go on a crazy huge three-month vacation, without money being an object, where would you go and why?
3. When you're alone, where are you?
4. What is the wisest thing you've ever read?
5. if you were stuck on a desert island for six months and could only bring five CDs, what five would you pick? mix CDs do NOT count. nor do MP3 players or Ipods.

and these questions are for Derek S...

1. i liked that last question. i'm'a gonna ask it again. if you were stuck on a desert island for six months and could only bring five CDs, what five would you pick? mix CDs do NOT count. nor do MP3 players or Ipods.
2. have you ever had any nicknames? what was your favorite, and what was your least favorite?
3. if you could abolish one thing in this world, whether it is an idea, a person, or an inanimate object, what would it be and why?
4. milk or whiskey?
5. you're not really as young as you say you are... are you?

and these questions are for Thomas...

1. so, if Life=Music, then what song saved your life?
2. are you a filthy gamer like me?
3. if you were stuck on a desert island for six months and could only bring five CDs, what five would you pick? mix CDs do NOT count. nor do MP3 players or Ipods. yeah, i like this question, why not?
4. if you won the lottery and family members that you'd never seen before come out of the woodwork to kiss your ass, how do you think you'd treat them?
5. and what the heck's up with your eyes?

and these questions are for Seth...

1. since you've asked me this question before, now i'm going to ask you. when was the first time YOU masturbated?
2. who is the most important person in your life right now?
3. do you think art and science are mutually exclusive?
4. if you were stuck on a desert island for six months and could only bring five CDs, what five would you pick? mix CDs do NOT count. nor do MP3 players or Ipods. (keep it rolling.)
5. why do you like burritos so much?

and these questions are for our triumphantly returned KAT!

1. what's the best thing about Seattle?
2. what's the worst thing about Seattle?
3. if you were stuck on a desert island for six months and could only bring five CDs, what five would you pick? mix CDs do NOT count. nor do MP3 players or Ipods. (i have to ask everyone this one now...)
4. tell us all about the first time you played your favorite board game.
5. so, who are your picks for the Final Four?

and that is all for today, because my little teeny pea brain hurts. owww. EJ, HarleyQuinn (what's up, newbie? good to see ya), Celti, Varla (yeah, i got you girl), and Restless Angel, you are NEXT! yar-har-har! but, take heart, 'cause i don't know when i'll have time to post your questions... i have a full weekend of drinking ahead of me.

why? because, it is Some Shite Saint Drove The Celts Out of Ireland Day! let's put on a green suit and get knackered!

oh, and i have a birthday coming up soon. you know. in case you want to shower me with adoration or anything. heh.

i love five...

2005-03-16T06:11:00.000-08:00

so, i just wanted to preface this post by saying... no, i'm not dead.

but i only have three people who want to be interviewed by me. come on, my minions. surely i don't scare you this much? you know i love you all with my evil love. i will not hurt you. i only need two more people... come, come, you know you don't HAVE to do it yourselves if you don't want to.

so. while i'm waiting for two more people to step up to the chopping block... er, i mean... ask me to interview them with very nice questions, i thought i'd pull this ol' thing out of stasis. i got it from Cooter ages ago. and it makes good with the "five" theme the interview game has going on.

Five sounds I love....
1. the little sleepy noises Pookie makes when he's sleeping.
2. when my doggie goes "oourwourrarrroof" and then sneezes.
3. the sound of music. GOOD music.
4. those little gooey noises that baby animals make.
5. when someone i love is laughing.

Five smells I love...
1. sandalwood.
2. clean clothes.
3. fresh strawberries, raspberries, and pears.
4. coffee.
5. chocolate!

Five inanimate things I love...
1. my bead collection.
2. my music collection.
3. my CD walkman.
4. my computer.
5. my comfy sexy jeans.

Five living things I love...
1. my darling pookie-pie.
2. my Pixie doggie.
3. my nephews and niece.
4. oh, all those other family people, too...
5. all my friends and loyal minions, including all of you bloggers in bloggyville. yeah, yeah... sap it up, make some maple syrup and put it on your pancakes.

Five words I love...
1. poop!
2. spooky.
3. antidisestablishmentarianism.
4. toast!
5. DOOM.

Five places I love...
1. the forest
2. the mountains
3. Ocracoke Island
4. my pookie's arms
5. my ass in front of this computer.

now you've got some time to decide if you want to play my little games or not, yes? i need two people. two. step up! be interviewed! DO IT!

it is all lies! FILTHY LIES!!!

2005-03-12T16:13:00.000-08:00

so i nearly forgot about this thing. but... i had requested an interview with Derek, as per the rules of the Interview Game ( i post the rules below). and he has asked me the questions, but i have yet to post the answers. so. now is the time when i shall do so. my next burrito-related post is in the works, but it's coming slowly and you can't rush perfection. in the meantime this is fun to do. and is not like the normal quizzes/surveys/bullshit i usually post. so. are you ready for an interview with the evil one, Derek? because here it comes!...

1. On an (evil) scale from one to eleven, please rate your evil and give us three examples (of pure, unadulterated evil). hum. though i aspire to be truly, purely evil, i'm afraid that i don't quite cut the butter. i would rate my evilness right now as about an eight, on a scale of one to eleven. but i'm tryin' reeeeeaaallly hard. as for what i think are three of the purest examples of evil...

1. the Devil. he's all bad an' stuff. i admire his work.
2. my bank. they raise my service charges for no reason whatsoever. brilliant.
3. God. he made the Devil, after all. plus Carolina lost today and i'm looking for someone to blame it on.

2. So when (not if) you find your real dad, what's the first thing you figure you'll ask him? um, you know, i'm not sure. probably something lame like "um... so, how's it goin'?" i'm a total genuis like that. not really a subject i want to discuss, actually, but hell... i asked for the interview, didn't i?

3. What can I get without fish in it? taquitos.

4. What had you chosen to sing during the "sans Sid" karaoke show we've read about in your little comments window? What songs do you enjoy singing most? well, i can see you didn't notice i posted about it, but that's okay. i didn't notice that you'd put my questions up until much later, so we're even. i would have done "Plastic Passion" by The Cure. it's an old song off their first album. about a dildo. or a vibrator. i forget which. anyway, before you get too offended, here's the lyrics:

Plastic passion is so hard to handle
Plastic passion is a sold out scandal
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
Plastic passion is the ladies lover
Plastic passion is the marble mother
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
Plastic passion is a diamond delight
Plastic passion is the nadir of night
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
Plastic passion is a hycoscine heart
Plastic passion is a transparent tart
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
Plastic passion is a gold guarantee
The plastic passion is murdering me
Oh it's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion
It's a plastic passion

okay, you can get offended now if you want. i admit it's not the easiest karaoke song in the world. but it would have been fun, especially sung in a fake Robert accent. as for your second "sneaky" question, (tryin' to ask me two questions at once, HAH!) i like to sing any song that i know the words to. as far as karaoke goes, the cheesier the song, the better. ABBA, for example, or somethin' like that. my best karaoke performance ever was "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?" by Culture Club. that was fun. and i did "Stand By Your Man" once too. but it wasn't as good.

5. If you could see ANY singer or band perform live AND get those "backstage pass" things too, which band or singer would you choose (and why, dammit, why!?) well, talk about a matching question! it would, of course, have to be The Cure, without a doubt. they have just been such a consistently good band over such a long period of time that it's impossible not to admire them. plus i just have to drink a beer with Robert Smith. it is my DESTINY.

all right, Derek. i hope i answered your questions to your satisfaction. and if i didn't... well, hell. too bad. be satisfied with what you got.

and now, my minions, i offer the same joy to you that Derek gave to me. you may also play this interview game with me. let us dance! dance with joy! there are the rules, posted below. (all snarky comments in parenthesis are mine, of course.)

Here's how you can play the interview game:

1. Leave me a comment which says "interview me" (but don't forget to ask me nicely). The first five commenters will be the participants (you lucky little monkeys).

2. I will follow up this post with the questions for those who would participate, 5 queries per participant.

3. Participants will update their respective blog/site with the answers to the aformentioned questions.

4. In addition, participants will include this set of rules and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, participants will ask them five questions.

there! and remember, if you do it, you only bring it upon your own stinking heads! so there! yar! (that was a random pirate noise. sometimes i have to make those.)

now feel my SQUIRRELLY WRATH!!!!

plastic passion is so hard to handle...

2005-03-08T23:50:00.000-08:00

what decade does your personality live in?

quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd

yeah. well. THAT'S interesting. not the result i thought i'd get at all, but reading the description i suppose it makes sense, even though i really generally don't like 90's music, at least not anything past 1993. hum. yes. anyway. so i wrote about my weekend and the damn post died. that was okay, see, because now it means i can write about it in more detail and share all my fun fun thoughts with you, my minions. aren't you pleased? you had better be.

well, as i mentioned in my comments a couple of posts ago, a old and dear friend of mine came down from Ohio for a visit, and all of us hung out and had all sorts of big fun. one of the more... interesting things we all did was go to Indie Rock Karaoke Night at one of our local pretentious rock clubs. yes. that's right. you heard it right. Indie Rock Karaoke. what constitues Indie Rock Karaoke, you might ask? well, if i was sure, i would tell you. apparently it involves the participation of a lot of drunken college kids who think they're listening to indie rock when they buy a Pavement CD, but that's just my opinion. i never claimed not to be a music snob. i know i totally am, and i've only gotten worse since i started dating a musician. but still. good god.

i'm getting off topic. so we get into the club before it gets too crowded, but we never got to sing our songs because a bunch of drunken college kids who thought they were indie rock because they listen to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs got their requests in first. now before i sound completely bitter, i do have to say that some of these people put on a good show. most memorable was a girl doing Ben Folds Five's "Narcolepsy"; she had good stage presence (she jumped up and down and took her shoes off) and she knew the song, and her timing was on, and she had a good voice. i guess the whole evening would have been a blast if i'd been drunker. but the fun started to wear off when the same people kept going up over and over and over again and they got progressively drunker and started mangling the lyrics. it's not easy to sing certain songs in the first place; to do them as karaoke is just... well. geez. plus, when a song that means a lot to you is being sung badly by drunken white boys, it suddenly makes you feel kind of... wrong inside. i just never thought that Radiohead was meant to be sung that way.

and if you were curious, i was going to sing "Plastic Passion" by The Cure. it's about a vibrator. i love songs like that. my friend was going to do a Sarah McLachlan song. yeah, they had a few songs on there that didn't exactly qualify as Indie rock... there was one girl who did "You Ougtta Know" by Alanis Morrissete, and she prefaced it with "this is the most fucking indie song in the entire world!" heh. anyway, enough bitterness about the karaoke. feh. in good news, my friend, who is way too single right now, got some major come-ons from a cute little pencil-thin college girl. when she finished singing, she jumped offstage right into his arms. he liked it. oh yeah, i know he liked it. heh heh heh. anyway, though i am bitter about not getting to sing an obscure Cure song in a fake british accent in front of a bunch of intoxicated hipsters, i'll get over it. next time i'll sing something more popular:

You are Just Like Heaven!

What Cure Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

what else. oh, yeah. the Carolina-Duke game. we won. it was really intense, because we were down like seven points near the end of the second half, and then we just pulled it up and had a good run of scoring. one of our players scored and got us within one point, and then he got fouled on the shot! so then he made one free throw, but then he missed the second one. but then another of our players rebounded the ball and scored! so we were two up, just barely ten seconds left in the game, and Duke tried to go for a three. missed it! then they got the ball again and tried to tie it up. missed it! then our number one rebounder, May, got the ball and that was the game! oh, the craziness! the celebrations in the streets! the burning fires! yeeeee-haw!!!

then we went out for coffee. it was lovely.

so, some of you noticed that i have added the magical tunes of doom. yes. i figure, i talk about all these bands i like and everything, but you all can't just take my word for it. you must hear. so the last few days i've had a couple of songs by my new favorite band, Doves, and now i am going to attempt to add a song by my other new favorite band, The Bravery. they're playing here on Friday and i can't go. poop. i am totally bummed out. boo. i know they're going to be huge this time next year, and there's no way i'm going to get the chance to see them at a local club again. man, i haven't been able to see so many awesome shows recently because i've been so broke. i hate it. i totally hate it. i'm going to stop bitching now because i know i'm just being a big whiner... then again, this is a blog. heh.

i haven't been able to do as much blogging as i'd like, as in reading and commenting and all that. so if i don't comment, don't take it personally. i swear i'm still reading. but beads are very important right now; i've been slacking on my work the last couple of months and one of the stores i sell at is running low. i sat down yesterday and made four freakin' necklaces. i really need to post some pictures of them so you can see exactly how detailed they are and why it is that they take forever to make. whew.

taker easy, minions. next time... what you should and shouldn't do in a restaurant! oh yes, the rants will be back... yes they certainly will...

i hate you, blogger. i hate you so very much.

2005-03-08T03:32:00.000-08:00

i just wrote a post about my weekend. and blogger ate it. it hasn't happened in so long. dammit. i knew i should have been using firefox. it never fucks up in firefox.

so i can't write this again. it's too late. i'm going to have to do this later. in the meantime, to make me feel better, if any of you are on MySpace, i am too now! you can be my friend! go here: http://profiles.myspace.com/users/21341747

and that is all. i don't even have a quiz for you. sorry...

oh, the filthy lies i tell!

You are Storm!

You are very strong and very protective of those
you love. You are in tune with nature and are
very concerned with justice and humanity.
Unfortunately, certain apprehensions and fears
are very hard for you to overcome, and can
often inhibit you when most need to be strong.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

have a groovy day, my minons. more later.

yesssssssss!!!!!!!!

2005-03-06T15:14:00.000-08:00

WE BEAT DUKE!

WE'RE NUMBER ONE!!!!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HEEEEE!!

whoo... it has been a really great weekend.

oh god no not another one of these... aieeee!

2005-03-02T19:02:00.000-08:00

yeah, i'm in the sandbox again. i got this in an e-mail, and not only have i already sent it to some unsuspecting peers, but i have now posted it to make an easy-peasy post for youuu! some of these questions are not new to you. but now you know the answers again, just 'cause. moo.

1. What time did you get up this morning? too early. 8:20 a.m. generally i don't do that on my day off but i had to meet my sister for breakfast.

2. Diamonds or pearls? neither. they're fucking boring. i'd take beads over either any day.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The Village. shit, it's been a while. i'd rather rent them than go the the "cinema". this is a Brit quiz, isn't it.

4. What's your favorite TV show? currently, i try to never miss an episode of Lost. but when i had cable i loved me some South Park and some Daily Show.

5. What did you have for breakfast? a bagel with cream cheese. the criossant i had earlier doesn't count, because it was horrible.

6. What's your favorite cuisine? eyyy, Italian, what, are you kidding me?!?!

7. What foods do you dislike? i hate Indian food. it always gives me the shits.

8. What is your favorite crisp flavor? this IS a Brit quiz! for those who don't know, crisps are potato chips. and my favorite flavor is salt and pepper.

9. What's your favorite CD at the moment? right now, anything by Doves.

10. What kind of car do you drive? i don't drive it. but it's a goldish-colored 2001 Chrysler Sebring coupe.

11. Favorite sandwich? but... all sandwiches are soooo goood.... mmmm, sandwich....

12. What characteristics do you despise? narrow-minded bigotry, snottiness (that's right, fuck you, you're not better than me), and inconsiderate selfishness. that'll do for now.

13. Favorite item of clothing? a comfortable, well-worn pair of blue jeans. and/or a really cool black shirt. either one.

14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Japan, first. then New Zealand. then Amsterdam. then...

15. What color is your bathroom? generic apartment off-white.

16. Favorite brand of clothing? oh, please.

17. Where would you retire? somewhere in the mountains, probably.

18. Favorite time of the day? early evening, when i get up (ha ha hee!)

19. What was your most memorable birthday? i don't remember, so i must have been pretty drunk.

20. Where were you born? Eliot, ME. we moved back to Ohio when i was two, though, so i grew up there.

21. Favorite sport to watch? College Basketball. GO HEELS!!!! ACC all the way!

22. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? the people who already sent it to me.

23. Person you expect to send it back first? i don't know. i don't even care if you do send it back. i'm going to post this on my blog, anyway. (hey hey. here it is!)

24. What fabric detergent do you use? whatever's on sale and halfway decent. most recently it was Fab. generally i do prefer Purex or Arm & Hammer.

25. Were you named after anyone? not to my knowledge. my mom just liked the name Sidra.

26. Do you wish on stars? if i did, i wouldn't say because i don't want to jinx it.

27. When did you last cry? a couple days ago. i woke up on the wrong side of the bed and the coffee machine wasn't working. it was not a good time for it to break.

28. Do you like your handwriting? i like it when i don't write fast. i hate my handwriting when i'm tired or in a hurry. it looks horrible. i'm an artist, dammit! all things that are made with my hands should be perfect and pristine!!!

29. What is your most embarrassing CD? hum... depends on what you consider embarrasing. i do have Aqua- Aquarium, but i like it. my pookie owns Shakespear's Sister- Hormonally Yours. i think he's embarrased by it. hee.

30. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? uh... yeah, DUH! i'm SO cool!

31. Are you a daredevil? you mean was i blinded at a young age with toxic chemicals that gave me higher-than-normal senses which i then used to fight crime with by night while i was a lawyer by day? no. i have never pranced about the city at night in a red bodystocking. alas.

32. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? i won't say i haven't, but i generally don't. i'm pretty tight when it comes to people's secrets.

33. Do looks matter? initially, but not usually. generally, but not always. sometimes, but it depends on the circumstance.

34. How do you release anger? i wait until i'm alone and then i scream and cry and punch a pillow.

35. Where is your second home? my pookie is my only home. after that it's the mountains.

36. What was your favorite toy as a child? um... My Little Ponies. actually, i still have them.

37. What class in high school do you think was totally useless? most of them. the only thing i hated more than high school was middle school.

38. Do you use sarcasm a lot? me? sarcastic? NO. never!

39. Favorite movie? oh, you know i can't pick just one, jeez! the top five are probably (at least right now) Harold and Maude, The Dark Crystal, Donnie Darko, Monty Python's Holy Grail, and Brazil. oh, and Shaun of the Dead. oh, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. oh, and...

40. What are your nicknames? El Sid, Her Sidness, Den of Sid, Sid Rock, Pookie Bear, Bubblegum, Sidsy, (and any other variation of the name Sid that you can possibly think up) Buttons, Snuggles, Swee'pea, Burrito Monkey, Mastress of Doom and All Things Doomy, Doombunny, and on...

42. Would you bungee jump? if i was assured by professionals that there was no way my neck would snap with the recoil, and also if someone went first and said that it was great.

43. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? no, and if i can get away with getting them back on without untying them, then i wil.

44. Do you think that you are strong? physically, no. otherwise, yes. i'm just grateful that my strength hasn't been tested to its ultimate limits.

45. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? if i had to pick, if evil donkeys would poke me with sticks forever and ever unless i did not pick, then i'd probably go with Ben & Jerry's Triple Caramel Cup (or Denali's Caramel Cairibou, which is basically the cheaper, just as good version) because i do not want the donkeys to poke me at all.

46. What are your favorite colors? purple, black, blue, dark red and dark green. and silver. and...

47. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? i don't think i'm going to answer that question. because honestly my life is rough enough right now without dwelling on my bad points.

48. Who do you miss the most? of my family, my grandparents. of my friends, well, he's coming to visit this weekend so it should be pretty awesome!

49. Do you want everyone you sent this to send it back? eh, if you want. no pressure. i'm posting it on my blog, anyway, so, you know.

50. What color pants are you wearing? blue! i am a blue jean baby!

51. What are you listening to right now? a mix i made about three or four years ago for a friend of mine that i never gave to him, because it was lost and only just recently found. frikkin' wierd. the song that's playing right now is Annie Lennox's cover of "Downtown Lights". that must be an old mix. someone stole that Annie Lennox CD from me, and i MUST HAVE IT BACK! argh!

52. Last thing you ate? a Twix bar. i am a bad girl. my teeth do not like me.

53. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? probably a very dark, almost black shade of purple with suggestions of blue in it. what do they call it? plum? yes, plum.

54. Last person you talked to on the phone: my pookie, last night.

55. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? the eyes. if they are green, blue, or hazel, i am so fucking doomed.

56. Favorite Drink? Alchoholic? Jack and Coke. Non? Coffee (winning out just barely above Dr. Pepper.)

57. Do you wear contacts? nope! 20/20 vision! at least for now, though with all the time i spend on the computer and doing beadwork, i'm wondering if that might not change soon.

58. Favorite Day of the Year? you know what it is, my minions. HALLOWEEN!!!

59. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? both, but not in the same movie. a good scary movie never has a happy ending.

60. Summer or winter? neither. i'd pick autumn or spring first. wait... the donkeys are coming for me! they want to poke me with sticks! aieee! okay, okay! winter! jeeezus!

61. Hugs OR Kisses? yes, please.

62. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? if it has chocolate or caramel in it, you can't go wrong.

63. What Book(s) Are You Reading? right now i'm re-reading The Simarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien, and also The Golden Globe by John Varley. i read books a lot more slowly than i used to. it's all blogs these days.

64. What's On Your Mouse Pad? um... the mouse.

65. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? i didn't watch TV last night. ha ha! the next thing i watch on TV will probably be Lost, though.

66. Favorite Smells? hum... a thunderstorm in the springtime or summer, lavender, rosemary, lilac, sandalwood, frankensence, fresh roses, clean laundry, clean me, clean pookie, strawberries, baking cookies or brownies, Fritos (yeah, that's a wierd one, i know), coffee (will bring me back from the dead), and burning paper.

67. Rolling Stones or Beatles? a tough desicion. but, ultimatley, Beatles.

68. What's the furthest you've been from home? Texas. man, i need a vacation.

what? you say you can't get enough of my quizzy goodness? well lucky for you i got this as well... (and i would just like you to know that i do not have curry breath. i fucking hate curry. but this is still about right, especially since i have a couple of bad teeth.)

You Belong in the UK

Blimey!

A little proper, a little saucy.

You're so witty and charming...

No one notices your curry breath.

What English Speaking Country Do You Belong In?

and one more to finish it off. i highlighted all the ones that pertain to me personally. heh.

You Know You're Addicted to Caffeine When...

You haven't slept since the Clinton Administration.

Your next-door neighbors often call to complain about the sound of your chattering teeth.

Instead of Tic Tacs, you suck on Vivarin.

You plan to name your twins "Cappuccino" and "Espresso."

On the way to work you get pulled over for speeding and you don't even have your car.

You kill a guy for trying to switch your regular coffee to decaffeinated Folgers.

You wake up in the middle of the night screaming "Pepsi! For the love of God, I need Pepsi!"

When a Maxwell House commercial comes on, you actually lick the TV screen.

You drink so much coffee it starts shooting out your ears.

You're shaking like Michael Jackson on his wedding night.

You think sleep is for the weak.

You've just had your 20th cup of coffee within 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon, at 4 o'clock, just so "the milk doesn't go bad over the weekend"

You believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable.

You know from experience caffeine tablets don't dissolve in cola.

You wake up to Mountain Dew, before switching to JOLT.

You can name five flavors of JOLT.

You have a mini-fridge under your desk... and a catheter.

You drink decaf by accident and slip into a coma.

Mountain Dew is the stuff great decisions are made of.

You regard the fact that your hands are shaking as a good sign.

You have tattooed across the knuckles of your hands "JOLT" and "COLA"

Your birthday is a national holiday in Colombia.

You go to sleep just to wake up and smell the coffee.

Your coffee pot is next to your bed and your alarm clock is in the kitchen.

You've ever an airplane's call button just to get a coffee refill.

You've knelt and prayed before a Starbuck's logo.

Your web page has the Mountain Dew color scheme.

You have distilled Jolt Cola to make it more potent.

The dishes in your house are all coffee cups.

You see nothing wrong with using water joe (caffeinated water) to make the coffee you use to take your no-doze.

You see sleep as a poor substitute for sleep.

It's 6:09 AM and you're on your 2nd 20oz. cup of coffee.

You have to drink some form of caffeinated beverage just to sleep.

You'd rather be beaten over the head with a sledgehammer than give up that first cup of coffee in the morning.

You've given up sex, TV, or all forms of meat for Lent before, but can't make it 40 days without caffeine.

You suck on a used coffee filter (full of coffee grounds) whenever the can runs out of coffee.

You dip espresso beans.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to caffeine.

Get Your Own Addicted Meme Here

More cool things for your blog at
Blogthings

and i think that'll get you through the next couple of days, my minions. telute.

red carpet, red schmarpet

2005-02-28T07:20:00.000-08:00

so i watched the Oscars last night. why? because i had to. i always do. the Grammies i can take or leave, but The Oscars are a big deal. besides, Chris Rock was hosting. i mean, come on!

before i go any further, i just have to say that i have strong opinions as far as the Oscars are concerned. they will not be the same opinions everyone else had. if any of you are upset or offended by what i say, then too bad. deal with it. and if you want to remember what happens to anyone who sends me hate mail or leaves shitty comments, then click on the "Hatemailer Warning" button in my sidebar. i'd hate for Trashman (and Seven!) to have to come and pay you a visit.

all right. now that we got that out of the way. this was the first time in a while that i've watched the Oscars and not seen all the movies that were nominated. i haven't been able to afford movies recently. (so this is another reason not to take my opinions too seriously.)

Chris Rock did a good job hosting, in my opinion. an awards show like the Oscars needs a little bit of reality cut into it, and he did a great job. his opening monologue was freakin' hilarious. he also did a little bit where he went and interviewed people, just common moviegoers, about what films they had and hadn't seen. here's a sample of the complete and total hilarity that ensued:

Chris Rock: so what do you think was the best movie of the year?
Random Guy: um... i really liked Chronicles of Riddick
Chris Rock: oh, you're a Vin Diesel fan, huh?
RG: uh, yeah, i like his acting.
Chris Rock: so what other movies did you think were really great this year?
RG: um... can't think of any.
Chris Rock: so, that's it, Chronicles of Riddick was the only good movie you saw, huh?
RG: uh, yeah. pretty much.

he then asked a bunch of people if they'd seen "White Chicks". they all said yes, they loved it. he asked the same people if they'd seen any of the Ocsar-nominated films; The Aviator, Finding Neverland, Ray, Million Dollar Baby. not a damn one of them had seen these movies. pretty freakin' funny. i guess Hollywood knows where their money's coming from, huh?

moving on... the music was horrible this year. horrible. last year there were so many fantastic songs nominated-- the Annie Lennox song from LOTR, the song from Triplets of Belleville... and not only that, but Annie Lennox and Allison Krause performed, and they did a damn fine job. i enjoyed the music last year. this year. it was nothing. but. Beyonce.

okay, some of you might be Beyonce fans. that's your problem. personally, i think she's not that great a singer, she's an arrogant diva, and WHAT THE FUCK WAS SHE WEARING?!?!?! seriously, every single outfit she had on was HIDEOUS!!! good god, and what the fuck was up with her eyeshadow? she definitely made my worst-dressed list, along with Charlize Theron. i don't know what the fuck she was wearing. and Natalie Portman was wearing this ugly-ass thing, too. gah! anyway, back to Beyonce. i totally hate her. she sucks. and it was painful to sit through her singing. the only thing that was more painful than hearing her sing a cheesy Phantom Of The Opera song was hearing her sing a duet of "Believe" from The Polar Express with Josh Groban. gaaaaaack! ugh! another performance combined the amazing talent of Antonio Banderas and Carlos Santana. yeah, i said that in a sarcastic tone, deal with it. Antonio Banderas can sing all right, but he's not that great. and while i think Carlos Santana is a very good guitar player, the sound for his electric guitar was way too high and distorted and didn't match the song. he would have been better off playing an acoustic.

and then there were the awards. hum. first the ones i'm pleased with: "The Incredibles" won best Animated Feature, which is great. i would have been just as happy if Shrek 2 won, because i thought it was a fantastic film for kids, but Pixar is always consistently amazing and i'm so much more impressed with The Incredibles. it is interesting that all the nominated films were CGI and not animated. okay, what else. Cate Blanchett won Best Supporting Actress for The Aviator. she's one of my favorite actresses, so i'm pleased with that. i knew she had it in the bag. Morgan Freeman won Best Supporting Actor for Million Dollar Baby and all i can say is it's about time. i know he's been in some stinker movies, but dammit, i think he should have won for Shawshank Redemption and Driving Miss Daisy and i'm glad he won now. he's a damn fine actor and he deserves it. Clint Eastwood won Best Director for Million Dollar Baby, which also won best picture as well. like i said earlier, i haven't seen any of the nominated films, but i want to see Million Dollar Baby (second only to Finding Neverland.) and i'm glad Clint Eastwood won something, because, let's face it, he's a total badass. he's an amazing director, i think. sometimes his films can drag a bit, but i don't mind films that drag if the characters and the storyline are interesting; and Eastwood always has that. and of course there was the award i was most pleased with: Charlie Kaufman won Best Original Screenplay for Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. that film deserved waaaaaay more attention than it got; it should have been nominated for Best Picture, in my opinion. and Kirsten Dunst should have been nominated for Best Supporting Actress at least, even though i'm pleased that Cate Blanchett won.

okay, on to the ones i have mixed feelings about. Hillary Swank won Best Actress for Million Dollar Baby. which was great, and i'm sure she did a great job. she, also, is one of my most favorite actresses ever. but i am a bit disappointed that Kate Winslet didn't win for Eternal Sunshine, because that was hands-down one of her best performances ever. (and totally made up for ~shudder~ Titanic.) i'll reserve my final judgment for when i see Million Dollar Baby. and then Jamie Foxx won Best Actor for Ray. i have mixed feelings about this, because while he did do an incredible job portraying Ray Charles, i also think he's the least talented actor out of the group of nominees. Johnny Depp is such an amazing actor and i was so excited that he was nominated again, because he's really been overlooked for a long time. i also think that Ray Charles' death is a bit cheapened by all these awards and shit that have been given out in his name. would he have won so many Grammies if he hadn't died? would the movie Ray have been given so much acclaim if he hadn't died? well, i don't know for sure, but i just get annoyed when all these people come out of the woodwork after an artist or an actor dies and suddenly they're praised as geniuses or whatever. where the hell were you when they could have needed you; when their careers were in decline or their lives were being ruined by drugs? don't posthumously kiss someone's ass by giving out awards. please.

having said that, i think Jamie Foxx did deserve his award, and i don't mean to cheapen his performance at all, or smear his integrity as an actor. it's just that i think the other people nominated, especially Johnny Depp and Clint Eastwood, are more talented actors. no offense. i'm just saying. i felt the same way last year when Sean Penn won. i thought they picked the least talented actor of the bunch.

all right, and there you have it: the Tiny Rant Review of The Oscars. which for some damn reason i keep watching every year, even though my pookie gets bored and falls asleep. bah. more pop culture fun and burrito rants for you later my minions. i have to get ready for work now. oh, the joys of being a big stinky burrito monkey. hoo hoo.

oh lord i'm fixin' to diiiie...

2005-02-25T01:00:00.000-08:00

my friend Face sent me this. it cracked my ass up. i put it here so your ass can be cracked up, too. plus it's an easy post. hot damn, i'm clever.

Think You Can Play the Blues?

These are the rules of the Blues...
1. Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning..."

2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes... sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound."

4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch--ain't no way out.

5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and company motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.

6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cause you were skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg 'cause a alligator be chompin' on it is.

9. You can't have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10. Good places for the Blues:
a. Highway
b. Jailhouse
c. An empty bed
d. Bottom of a whiskey glass

11. Bad places for the Blues:
a. Nordstrom's
b. Gallery openings
c. Ivy league institutions
d. Golf courses

12. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be a old ethnic person, and you slept in it.

13. You have the right to sing the Blues if:
a. You older than dirt
b. You blind
c. You shot a man in Memphis
d. You can't be satisfied

14. You don't have the right to sing the Blues if:
a. You have all your teeth
b. You were once blind but now can see
c. The man in Memphis lived
d. You have a pension fund

15. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.

16. If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the Blues.

17. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. Cheap wine
b. Whiskey or bourbon
c. Muddy water
d. Nasty black coffee

18. The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier
b. Chardonnay
c. Snapple
d. Slim Fast

19. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broke-down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.

20. Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
d. Fat River Dumpling

21. Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie

22. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

23. Make your own Blues name Starter Kit:
a. name of physical infirmity(Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Melon, Kiwi, etc.)
c. last name of President (Jefferson,Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)

For example: Blind Lime Jefferson, Jackleg Lemon Johnson or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi.")

24. I don't care how tragic your life: if you own even one computer, you cannot sing the blues.

i'll try and put up a more clever post later. for now, i have a computer. so i cannot sing the blues. but i can have them, can't i? can't i? no? oh, poop.

well, i guess that i'm not allowed to have the blues now. i wish i'd known that shit about the computer before i shot that guy in Memphis.

and, well... speaking of the blues. i've just received a heads-up from Seven that our own Lois Lane, from over at Home Fires, who i think is one of the best things in Blogland, hands down, has just lost her father. please go visit her and offer your condolences. and then, if you haven't been there before, read some of her previous posts. if you want to know how great her dad was, i recommend reading the "Kindergarten Krush" series she wrote recently.

and it is with a heavy heavy heart that i must announce that one of my favorite bloggers in the world has been... well, "found out". Jack from Texas Music has turned out the lights. Jack is also one of my favorite writers in the blogosphere, and his loss really breaks my heart, i have to admit it. not only that, but he was one of my very first readers, and really made me feel like i was writing something worthwhile. (even though i know and you know this here blog is a little silly splish in the great bloggo ocean.) i would always look forward to seeing his name in my little haloscan box of doom. Jack, if you're reading this, i just want to tell you that i will miss you greatly, and thank you so much for sharing your world with us for this short time. your writing is fantastic and amazing, and i hope you never give it up.

well, my minions, i have got some blogroll work to do, it seems. some of my peoples have given up and gone away. Lovisa from The Unbearable Likeness of Bean is taking a break, perhaps permanently, though i hope not. The same for El Dastardo, The Dastard, from AGB. Kristin's blog, The Society Page, seems to have been deleted. that is another big bummer for me because i really liked her style. i hope whoever sent her that hate e-mail gets a big kick in the karma crotch. and i also hope i don't meet them in a dark alleyway. because... well... i do things to people in dark alleyways. mean things, involving sharp edges. any of you seen The Crow? things like The Crow did to that tall guy who liked knives in the dark alleyway. yes. things.

plus there are people i've been meaning to add for ages; Zelda and Jethro, for example, and a few others. i have to go to bed soon, so it's not gonna happen right now. maybe tomorrow.

i hope none of you have the blues. i mean, you know, the REAL blues. telute, minions.

(p.s. if you want me to link you... hey, maybe i will if you ask nice.)

i got your fish right HERE, bitch!

2005-02-22T12:33:00.000-08:00

all right. i promised burrito rants of doom. and i do mean to deliver. what follows is an actual conversation one of our employees had with a customer. the rude comments in parenthesis are things we wanted to say, but, alas, could not.

old lady: i want a fish.
us: all right... well, i'm making fish tacos right now...
old lady: (practically yelling) i don't WANT tacos! what do you have that i can put fish on?
us: well, besides tacos, we have burritos and tostadas...
old lady: i don't want a burrito.
us: okay, well-- (she cuts us off)
old lady: what i want is a fish and avocado wrapped up in a tortilla.
us: so... you want a burrito.
old lady: NO! i TOLD you i didn't WANT a burrito!
us: (pleasantly) well then what (the fuck) do you want?
old lady: i want fish, guacamole, sour cream, lettuce and veggies on a plate.
us: (sounds different from what you wanted a fuckin' minute ago!) okay, we can do that. our grilled vegetables are red onion, yellow squash, zucchini...
old lady: i don't want THAT!
us: all right, so you just meant the lettuce and tomato.
old lady: yeah, so that's $5.50, right?
us: actually, that would end up being around $7.00 or so.
old lady: i don't want that.
us: (gritting teeth now) okay...
old lady: what do you have with fish that is $5.50?
us: (sigh) fish tacos.
old lady: all right, i'll have fish tacos.
us: (jesus god, please just die now!!!) all right; i'll bring that out to you when it's finished.

then this lovely person goes to the register. the person at the register just happens to be our boss. hee hee. lovely hi-jinks ensue.

old lady: where are my chips?
my boss: would you like a small side of chips?
old lady: (like my boss is an idiot) YES.
my boss: (ringing her up) all right, anything else?
old lady: this drink.
my boss: all right, that'll be $8.25, please.
old lady: WHAT? how did THAT happen? i thought it was just $5.50!
my boss: (patiently explains that the chips and drink were extra, and shows the lady an itemized receipt. the old lady sniffs contemptuously, but pays.)

and then later, when we brought the fish tacos out to her...

old lady: where's the fish?!?!?!
us: it's right there under the lettuce and tomato (you dumb bitch!)
old lady: oh, okay. thanks a lot! (this was a sincere thanks. apparently after putting us through all that rudeness, she suddenly decided to be nice.)

yes, we have some real winners that come into the burrito hut and inflict themselves upon us. let us (in the words that Lois often uses) set the wayback machine for about five years ago, and listen now to the tale of the Psycho Fish Guy.

i was working the register at the time. we were having a huge Friday rush, nearly more than we could handle. a lot of people were ordering fish, and the fish is grilled to order, so it was taking a while to get all the fish orders out. now at the time i was working the register. among other things, the person working the register has to ring up all of the food orders, both eat-in and take-out, she's got to take call-in orders on the phone, she has to give out salsas, she's got to wipe off the tables and clean up after the jerks who don't bus their own tables like they're supposed to, and she has to make the margaritas and serve the beers. in other words, we don't have a whole lot of time to deal with bullshit. so imagine this if you will...

the tiny restaurant is packed with people inside and out. the phone is ringing off the hook. there is a line to the door. we are busting our asses, but people are still having to wait a while for their food. especially if they ordered fish. i'm warning everyone who calls in a to-go order that it's going to be over half an hour before their food is ready. luckily most people say no, or they say they don't mind. one such person was a regular of ours, Fish Guy. he loooved our fish. always ordered up a mess of it. now i should take a moment to say that Fish Guy was always very nice and well spoken and friendly with us. up until...

now when i'm on the phone with him, i warn him that it's going to be a good half hour before his food is ready. he says that's fine. but he walks into the restaurant about fifteen minutes after he calls. so of course it's not nearly ready yet. but Fish Guy is standing there at the counter, wondering ever five seconds why his food isn't ready yet, when i TOLD him that it was going to be a while! after about five minutes, he's saying shit like "i've been waiting here for fifteen minutes." "this is fucking ridiculous." "this is bullshit." it's freaking me out, right? this guy was normally so nice, and all of a sudden, he's getting this CRAZY look in his eyes and cussing me out. meanwhile, i'm trying to serve the other fifty billion people in the restaurant, you know? another guy who's ordered fish and hasn't gotten it yet has come up to me and demanded a refund because he's had to wait so long. i give it to him, simply because i don't have the time and energy to argue, and i'm already trying not to cry.

this was a while ago. i was not the hardened restaurant monkey that i am now. now, i would have told the guy straight up: "look, sir, i'm sorry, but i did warn you that it was going to be at least half an hour if not more, and it has been." but at the time i was having a hard time dealing with the pressure. and Fish Guy was turning into Psycho Fish Guy, demanding i go and check on the status of his fucking order every minute. my friend MR, who was making the order, finally was able to finish it, and brought it to Psycho Fish Guy. this is the conversation that followed:

MR: (handing PFG his food) there you go; have a nice night. (he's busy, so of course he turns back around and goes back to work.)
Psycho Fish Guy: (pointing at MR) that guy is an asshole! you! yeah, you, buddy! you're an asshole! you've got a fucking attitude with me!
MR: (laughs in disbelief. he can't believe PFG is for real. meanwhile all the customers in line are staring at this exchange, as am i.)
PFG: you've got a fuckin' attitude with me, buster! what's your name? i'm going to call your boss!
MR: all right, fine. my name is MR. my bosses' phone number is (###-####) (he said his name and the phone number very clearly, so that PFG wouldn't miss a word of it.)
PFG: i'm going to tell your boss all about the attitude you gave me!
MR: (already getting back to work) all right, you do that.

after PFG stormed out, all of the customers were like: "what the fuck was THAT?" i was just trying to keep from crying. "i don't know; he's always been so nice before. he's just lost his mind!" also, after that incident, thankfully, the guy who demanded his money back earlier brought it back up to me and apologized. he said: "i am so sorry; i had no idea you guys were that busy. i can't believe that guy did that to you." it made me feel marginally better. all of the customers who had witnessed that event (and there were a good deal of them, believe ME) were all very sympathetic and tipped well.

well, i'm sure you all are wondering if PFG called my boss. yes, indeed he did. and she called me up at work...

boss: Sid, what in the world happened?
me: (suddenly bursting into tears) he was SO MEAN! he started cussing at me, and then he cussed at MR when he gave him his food.... (i tell her the whole story.)
boss: well, i knew you guys couldn't have been as rude as he said on the phone. i told him "i'm sorry, but that just doesn't sound like Sid and MR to me." i told him that there wasn't much i could do aside from talking to you all about it. but it doesn't sound to me like you and MR are at fault at all.
me: MR said that he's never serving that guy again. i don't think i could, either.
boss: i don't blame you guys. but i don't think he'll be coming back for a while. it sounds like his problem.
me: maybe he missed his meds or something.
boss: (laughing) that's probably it.

so we didn't see PFG again for a long, long time. until! just recently. he and his wife started coming in again, and they're just as polite and friendly as ever. but he never comes in by himself. and he never orders the fish.

oh, and i must add this little comment in. you see that button over there in my sidebar? yeah, i know i have a lot, fuck you. the one that says "Hatemailer Warning?" well, click it, and learn all the news, my friends. Seven and Trashman are a couple a' geniuses.

the passing of the last great american hero

2005-02-20T22:58:00.000-08:00

i'm sorry. i'm sorry because i meant to give you burrito rants today, but i cannot. because i have just found out about the death of one of my heros, and i am going to have to post a eulogy for him.

Hunter S. Thompson is dead.

i suppose he was a right miserable bastard, at that. but he fuckin' told it like it is. so let me set a day aside to mourn the passing of a pop culture icon. and to tell you not to fucking shoot yourselves. it pisses me off when you shoot yourself. i really don't like it.

you get rants tomorrow. for now, bow your heads poiusly and wear black. black, dammit!

"I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." --Hunter S. Thompson

bloody fun!

2005-02-18T08:13:00.000-08:00

this is a short little post for to get you through the weekend. i'm working two shifts today and then going to a party afterwards, so i'm sure i'll have some interesting tales to tell. whee-hee-hee! until then, i want to share with you one of the things that helped me through my sickness:

BLOODY PINGU THROW!!!

click HERE to play.

my high score was 1, 101. land mines RULE!!!

yes, this is another back-up post.

2005-02-16T12:20:00.000-08:00

i think i've found someone who's just as addicted to quizzes as i am. i stole these from a girl called inky, along with the new Harry Potter quiz in my sidebar. thank you, inky. you have saved me from, yet again, trying to come up with a new customer rant post. heh.

Accent: i don't think i have one, really. maybe i've picked up a bit of a central NC twang.

Bra size: 36 C.

Chore I hate: cleaning the bathroom. especially the toilet... where does all the HAIR come from?!?! and why?!?!?

Dad's name: Alan.

Essential make-up products: black lipstick, mascara, and eyeliner.

Favorite perfume: anything by Crabtree & Evelyn, but especially Spring Rain.

Gold or silver?: Silver.

Hometown: Marietta, OH. i wasn't born there, but i grew up there.

Interesting fact: did you know that the earth, like the human body, is made up mostly of water? oooooooh.

Job titles: Burrito Monkey, Pretzel Monkey, Wage Slave, Bead Queen, Mastress of The Doom.

Kids: no, thank you. not unless you count that dog. which i do. she's my girl.

Living arrangements: me and the pookie and my dog Pixie in a 2 br apartment. i hate it. the apartment, not the Pookie or the doggie.

Mom's birthplace: Springfield Illinois. um... wait, wasn't that in the last quiz i did?

Number of apples eaten in the last week: zero. i'm going to die young, aren't i?

Overnight hospital stays: none, unless you count when i was a baby. i'm a bit fuzzy on the details of that one...

Phobias: automatonophobia (fear of ventriloquist dummies and wax figures.... they's watchin' me!) claustrophobia (fear of confined spaces... probably you knew what that one was), and demophobia (fear of crowds... i don't like people.) to discover the name of your own personal phobia, click here!

Question you ask yourself a lot: where am i going, and why am i in this handbasket?

Religious affiliation: Unitarian Universalist. when i bother to be. generally i think i've outgrown religion.

Siblings: two, a bother.... i mean brother and sister, both younger than me. i'm the oldest and the smartest.

Time I wake up: whenever.

Unnatural hair color: let me see... it's been green, bright red, bleached blonde, blue, pink, magenta, and purple. purple was my favorite.

Vegetable I Refuse to Eat: collard greens. eeeerrrrgghhh, they nasty.

Worst habit: belching loudly in public. and not always saying "pardon me."

X-rays?: my teeth. once was when they were looking to see if my bad tooth was impacted, and the other was after they were pulled out my bad tooth, to make sure that there weren't any little bits of tooth still left in there.

Yummy food I make: my grandma's apple pie.

Zodiac sign: Aries/Picses cusp. technically an Aries, since it was about eight A.M., but it was still a cusp date, so if i said i didn't have any Picses tendencies i'd be lying my ass off.

i know, i know, you guys are probably sick of seeing me post these damn quizzy things. and i am sorry. but i'm just not feeling the creative flow what with my body in the state it's in and all. i'm working on a post about psycho fish customers and i swear i'll put it up next. until then... here's more stuff you probably don't know about me and my dark, sordid past.

YOUR SENIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL

What year was it? 1993

What were your favorite bands? The Smiths, Pixies, The Cure, R.E.M., They Might Be Giants, Dead Kennedeys, Jane's Addiction, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Indigo Girls, Descendents, Jesus & Mary Chain, Nine Inch Nails, Ministry...

What was your favorite outfit? you know, i don't really remember. i did have this Pixies shirt that i wore a lot though. probably that, with some jeans.

What was up with your hair? dude, it was like a rat's nest down to my ass. if i could get it into a braid, then i did that. at least i can say that my big hair was natural. ha ha.

Who were your best friends? all of the Suebugs!!! they know who they are.

What did you do after school? ballet, usually. i had my class three days a week and then the other two days i was an assistant teacher. it was how i paid for my ballet classes.

Did you take the bus? nooo. i could have, but i elected to walk it most of the time. sometimes i'd get rides from friends and sometimes in the mornings we'd carpool.

Who did you have a crush on? i don't really remember who i crushed on. i think at that point i'd decided i didn't want a boyfriend because i was going to leave town and i didn't want anyone there to hold me back. all my crushes were my freshman year, and i got over 'em pretty quick.

Did you fight with your parents? no, not until after i dropped out of college. heh.

Who did you have a CELEBRITY crush on? Christian Slater, River Phoenix, Michael Stipe, and Johnny Depp.

Did you smoke cigarettes? no. i was a good teenager. i am a bad adult. still... goin' on nearly three weeks smoke-free!!!

Did you lug all of your books around in your backpack all day because you were too nervous to find your locker? actually, i only did that my freshman year. my senior year my locker was coveted by many. the seniors got the lockers on the fourth floor, which was the floor we came in on. our high school was built into a valley, and so the floors descended, much like the levels of hell, and the locker heiarchy was thus: freshman first floor, sophmores second floor, and so on and so forth. a lot of seniors let lower-classmen use their lockers to store books and stuff inbetween classes, which was really convenient 'cause there weren't as many classes on the first floor as there were on the third and fourth.

Did you have a 'clique'? um... no. no, no, i did not have a "clique", i can say that with complete and total honesty.

Did you have "The Max" like Zach, Kelly, and Slater? no. we had the PU, but that was a bit after my time; i hung out there after my senior year was over. generally... we had Big Boy and Pizza Hut.

Who did you want to be just like? um... i don't really remember. myself, i suppose. or Kim Deal.

What did you want to be when you grew up? an illustrator or cartoonist or a writer.

Where did you think you'd be at the age you are now? married to my soul mate and living in a cabin in the mountains, writing stories that would be appreciated for generations to come and probably knocked up or at least with one kid. whoo, i was idealistic, wasn't i?

and that is that, my minons. i promise i'll get a real post up here someday soon. until then... what kind of drunk are you? apparently, i've got a problem...

What Kind of Drunk Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

whee-hee-hee-hee-hoo. pass the bottle, please.

48 questions for you to love...

2005-02-13T12:55:00.000-08:00

hello minions. i am not well today. in fact i am sick as a dog. runny nose, sore throat, fever... this is the worst sick i have been in quite some time. but luckily i had this little question thingie on reserve that i stole from Kristin. so you can still be entertained like little monkeys. wheeee!!!

1. Your name spelled backwards:
Ardis. oddly enough, that is an actual name. my last name is Evorg, which could also concievably be a last name. so if you ever seen anything by Ardis Evorg, that's me. it is my pen name. i will say it this once only.

2. Where were your parents born?
my mom was born in Springfield, Illinois. my dad, i have no idea.

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
i'm guessing some drum loops. pookie did that though. i don't remember the last thing i downloaded personally; probably some pictures.

4. What's your favorite restaurant?
um... anything Italian and good.

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
um... last summer? i think? yeah, but we don't like the pool at our apartment complex much. too damn many kids there.

6. Have you ever been in a school play?
oh. god. well, i remember in third grade there was the Russian version of Little Red Riding Hood; i played Belukoh the Rabbit in that one. (it was a big part for a third-grader actually. i had a whole monolouge.) then in fourth grade, i think that was the year i played the Ogre's wife in Jack & The Beanstalk. fifth grade... um. blanking. maybe that was the year i was the Ogre's wife. i get confused. and then i was Marie in The Nutcracker in sixth grade. the only time i was the leading lady. ah. after that i did youth theatre (a LOT of it) every summer up until i graduated high school.

7. How many kids do you want?
zero. that is it. zip. but if i did end up having kids i'd want more than one. everybody should grow up with a sibling, that's how i feel.

8. Type of music do you dislike most?
trite boring crap. i don't care what genre it is. if it's shit, i don't want to hear it. i don't care if it's gone platinum. if it's a knockoff i don't want it. period.

9. Are you registered to vote?
hell, yes! i better be!

10. Do you have cable?
i did, once. but now i can't afford it. thank you for bringing up a very painful subject. why don't you just give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? eh?

11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?
no, but i want one soooooo bad. actually i want a scooter. actually i really want a Vespa. they looks so cool.

12. Ever prank call anybody?
yeeaaah... maybe a little bit. maybe entire slumber parties based around it. maybe just a little bit... ah, the days before *69 and caller ID...

13. Ever get a parking ticket?
nope. but if i drove i bet i would.

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
i'd probably be scared out of my mind, but if i was surrounded by competent people and someone went before me and didn't die then i might.

15. Farthest place you ever traveled?
my mom and i went to Texas when i was little; like five or something. i only remember two things about the trip; being on the plane and looking out the window at the other planes. i remember my mom said "there goes the Ohio plane! now we're on the Texas plane!" i'm guessing we were between flights. the other thing i remember is being in a pool and i didn't know how to swim yet and it was really deep, so i just clung on the side and moved around the pool like a monkey. i still vividly remember how big it seemed to me. i remember my swimsuit, too. it was red and blue and had snoopy on it. i was so mad when i outgrew that swimsuit. anyway, Texas is the farthest i've gone, and i barely even remember it. i'm due a vacation, i think.

16. Do you have a garden?
if i did, it would be dead by now. i have a black thumb. it is black. like my life. and my heart. boo.

17. What's your favorite comic strip?
well... it's a really close tie between Bloom County and Calvin & Hobbes... but i'm gonna have to go with Bloom County. i read them all growing up and it was just the best. they're still the best. i can quote nearly any Bloom County comic verbatim. Like this:

TV: now! quick! pick up that phone and order your amazing "in-the-skin" tomato scrambler! now! go!
Opus (firmly): no. i don't need a tomato scrambler.

TV: (jumping up and shaking a finger at Opus): NEED? NEED?!! YA DIDN'T NEED ABSURDLY OVER PRICED "CALVIN KLEIN JEANS"... BUT YOU ALL BOUGHT 'EM WHEN I TOLD YOU TO, DIDN'T YA??
Opus (cowering): yeah... but...

TV: (now chasing Opus around the room): WHO NEEDED "CABBAGE PATCH DOLLS"?! OR HOME COMPUTERS? OR JIMMY CARTER? NOBODY!! BUT YA BOUGHT 'EM 'CAUSE I TOLD YOU TO!!!
Opus: argh!

Opus (on the phone): truly, a legacy of shame.
TV: that's "Tomato Scramblers". order a dozen.

18. Do you really know all the words to the national anthem?
only this much:

oh say can you see
through the dawn's early light
what so proudly we hailed
at the twilights' last gleaming
whose broad stripes and bright stars
through the perilous fight
oe'er the ramparts we watched
were so gallantly streaming
and the rocket's red glare
the bombs bursting in air
gave proof through the night
that our flag was still there
oh say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
oe'er the land of the free
and the home of the brave?

it does still wave, you know. on the ass of every SUV in the nation.

(i did google the lyrics, just to make sure that i was right. there's like three more verses. it's really kind of boring after the first one. i like "America The Beautiful" better. it's nicer. for an interesting tidbit on the origin of The Star-Spangled Banner, click here.)

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Bath at night. Shower in the morning.

20. Best movie you've seen in the past month?
i guess techincally that would be Shaun Of The Dead, 'cause i saw it again a couple of weeks ago. i also saw Napoleon Dynamite again recently. why? because i wanted to! gah!

21. Favorite pizza toppings?
i like mushrooms and pepperoni. i also like black olives, but generally i'm the only one.

22. Chips or popcorn?
chips. i love potatoes tooooo much.

23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
is chapstick a color? i use the red one. well, when i do wear lipstick, it's usually black (heh) but when i'm not trying to scare anyone i use a nice, subtle reddish-brown. i forget the stupid name of it. something like mocha mist or cappuchino spray. feh, i don't know.

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
i'd have to be pretty desperate to get to that point, wouldn't i? besides, smoking is bad for you. i quit again. two weeks on Friday. yay me!

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
let me answer that question in my Eddie Murphy voice. ahem: oh, HELL, no!!!

26. Orange Juice or apple?
apple. apple cider, actually. the really fresh, just-squeezed murky brown stuff? oh, man. that's good.

27. Favorite type of chocolate bar?
hum... all chocolate is good. my favorite of all time is Oh!Henry, but i don't know if they even make them anymore. i haven't found them anywhere in at least a year. does anyone know? i'm also growing fond of those new Take 5 bars, with the pretzel and caramel and chocolate and stuff. they're not big enough, though.

28 When was the last time you voted at the polls?
the November 2004 election. ah, it was a farce among farces, but at least my voice was heard.

29. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
i totally hate tomatoes. bleah. love tomato sauce. will stick my fries in ketchup. but i don't like fresh tomatoes. i'm an oddball. an oddball am i.

30. Have you ever won a trophy?
yeah. it was for science, in seventh grade. i had a cool science teacher who would give out trophies each quarter of the year to the student who had improved their grades the most that quarter. i think i won either the third or fourth quarter that year. anyway. it has an eagle on it. i think i still have it around somewhere.

31. Are you a good cook?
i'm not a cook. i'm a BURRISTA. heh. other than making damn good burritos, i'm really not much of a cook. i make a kick-ass box of mac & cheese, though.

32. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
even though i've never had a driver's license, yes, i do know how to pump gas.

33. Ever order an item from an infomercial?
nope, and i doubt i ever will. see my Bloom County dialouge above.

34. Sprite or 7-up?
sprite. with cranberry juice! or with any juice really. it's good.

35. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
yes, i have. i've worked in the restaurant biz for years, what do you think? actually at my current job i don't have to wear a staff uniform. my first wait job i had to wear a white button-up t-shirt and this maroon skirt/apron thing plus hose and black shoes. my first burrito (actually taco) monkey job i had to wear a shirt and hat with the name of the restaurant on it. and i had to buy the shirts and hat. feh. my next wait job i had to wear a white shirt, a tie, and either a black skirt with hose or black pants. with black shoes. when i was a pretzel monkey i had to wear a pretzel shirt, a pretzel hat, and khaki pants or shorts. i do not miss having required work uniform. i do not miss it one bit.

36. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
this was a while ago, but i got some penecillin and oxycodone for a tooth infection. that hurt like pain that hurts real bad. really really really bad.

37. Ever throw up in public?
yes. not my finest moments. because generally they involved far too much alcohol.

38. Would you prefer being a millionaire or to find true love?
well, i've already found true love, and i'm certainly not a millionaire, so i think i've already made that decision. i would have opted for the true love regardless.

39. Do you believe in love at first sight?
yes, but i also believe in the amazing power of people's horniness and desperateness leading them to believe they are in love at first sight when in fact all it is is raging hormones that cannot and will not be tamed.

40. Ever call a 1-900 number?
nope. i'd rather read my porn anyway.

41. Can exes be friends?
no. they can try for a while, but really it never works out in the long run. there's exceptions to this rule, of course, but generally i think not. there's a reason you're exes, after all.

42. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
um... hum. you know, i can't remember. all of my local friends are apparently extremely healthy.

43. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
i did. and it was RED. i mean RED. it's not red now.

44. What message is on your answering machine?
"hello, you've reached sidra and (pookie's real name), leave us a message. thanks!" nothing too clever or exciting, i'm afraid.

45. What is in your backpack?
first of all, the fact that i'm nearly 30 years old and still carrying a backpack is really just ludicrous. but i am. and i do. right now my backpack contains: a sketchbook, my purse, a copy of The Simarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien, a copy of The Golden Globe by John Varley, a box with a bracelet i need to repair inside it, my CD walkman, spare batteries for my CD walkman, my CD wallet which holds 24 CDs, my work hat, three bandannas, a couple of pens, some feminine hygiene products, and probably a lot of random pieces of paper and shit.

46. Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
i like to read and listen to music. sometimes i write. generally i have to do something. i can't ever go straight to bed unless i'm sick, completely exhausted, or extremely drunk.

47. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
that i have a wonderful beautiful talented person to share my life with. but generally that's every day.

48. What is the first concert you ever went to?
i went to a lot of live music events growing up. but the first real concert i ever went to by a start that everyone had heard of was Ray Charles at the Ohio State Fair. i think i was twelve or thirteen. me and my brother and sister were REALLY into Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the time. we had nosebleed seats but later on in the show we were able to move down because there weren't a whole lot of people there. it'd be different now, eh?

and there you are. i will blog again when i am healthy. be evil and stay evil my little minions.